Jupitar35

Hi every one

I'm new to this and I am a bit drunk now.

My drinking has been a problem for about 5 years. I drank more than was sensible before that, but it wasn't really a problem, although no doubt it was building up.

There's a lot to the story, but what is happening now, and has been for a few years is, I get drunk and I send totally awful messages, either by phone text or on Facebook. These messages are weird and inappropriate beyond compehension really. First I went for the person who had just left me, then I went for my ex before that, and I carried on with the original person, but going for their friends on Facebook long after my original ex had blocked me, writing utter nonsense.

Now I am writing total madness to people on Facebook I haven't seen for over 10 years.

This is only a brief account of what I have been doing, but does any one else find themselves getting drunk and sending messages by text or online that they feel utterly sick about the next morning?

I'm getting help for my drinking now, but I still wonder if drinking has led any one else to this weird texting or online behaviour that they just feel like dying about?

NewBeginning010

Hi & welcome to SR. I have sent crazy text messages, emails & made phone calls while out of it from drinking. Even worse are the real life situations where I made an ass out of myself after having too many at a party, bar, event.. you name it.

Most of us have at one time or another. Thank God I dont have to worry about what I did the day/night before anymore due to my recovery.

Please take a moment to introduce yourself to the newcomers forum as well.

Take Care,

NB

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/

chip

Hi Jupitar35,
Welcome to SR, and welcome to the forum.

If alcohol is causing problems in your life, this is a good place to be....drinking or not. If alcohol is a problem in your life, sobriety is a very good option.

I've done all sorts of embarassing and shameful things online while drunk/blacked out. Since I've gotten sober, I don't do stuff like that anymore. For me, the only way to guarentee that I wouldn't do stupid things was to quit drinking.

Is it a good time for a fresh start in life? Have you spoken to your doctor about your drinking?

If drinking is causing you problems, I urge you to see a doctor and start a recovery program.
chip

Jupitar35

Hi

Thanks for your replies.

I have sought help and am getting it. And I am drinking less. But I haven't managed to stop. And on the occasions I have drunk since then my awful messaging has escalated. So then I feel more like drinking because I have made such a ridiculous fool of myself. Obviously there is a problem with alcohol, and the weird me only comes out after drinking, but I do need to know why on earth this subconscious weird me comes out after drinking. And I notice when I don't drink, if I am not worrying about the awful mesages, my mind will soon revert to some other weird obsession, it's not like I am free, some other obsession will take hold even if I spend a week without drinking.

CarolD

I was AA sober 3 years before I came on line
so....my disasters happened in person or on the phone.

No more remorse or shame in my new life.

Glad you decided to join us
There is a solution for you too...
Welcome to our recovery community.....

Jupitar35

But anyway how can you forget about it even if you stop? The people on the receiving end are always going to think, what a nutcase, and you can never erase that.

Jupitar35

Before it was just a couple of exes and their friends. But in the past few weeks I have for some reason gone for loads of people. I wrote a status on my Facebook, that over a 100 people could see, that was really embarrassing. I can't take that away, although of course when I step back, I know they have their own lives and aren't really going to care too much about me. But it will still be lodged there somewhere so that if I see them they might be laughing or going what the f*ck is this girl all about and then I feel like I can't possibly move on.

Jupitar35

I just find myself in a situation where there's no cut off point, because I can't deal with what I have done. If I don't drink I just have to feel really uncomfortable about what I have done. If I stop these people will still think I am so weird. I know it shouldn't matter, but it does to me, if no one else.

Iriss

Hi and welcome to SR. I have done the phone/text/email a little and the real life situations, when you wake up and feel sick as the realization slowly comes back to you, you say if you dont drink you will feel really uncomfortable with what you have done. Try looking at it from a different perspective, if you do drink you will carry on, and on so the circle will continue and it could get worse. The only way to know competley that you will not make a total fool out of yourself is to not drink.... It does seem hard I know, but not as hard as dealing with the feelings you are going through now. Stick around you will find nothing but help and friends here. Good luck x

Jupitar35

Hi Iriss and every one who has replied

I know, I suppose I just want to find out if there are other people out there in the same boat. Obviously alcoholism dates back centuries, but modern technology that enables you to send a regretable message at the touch of a button doesn't. Only the last 15 years or so really. I just kind of wish out of the whole of human history this technology hadn't coincided with me...:O

Jupitar35

But yes I know the getting drunk has to stop, but I am obsessive compulsive so always looking for a clean cut off point.

josie46

I have gotten them from my husband when he is drunk.... like one time I left because he was drunk and yelling, just to remove my self from the situation. He called and left this message on my phone.

Dont come home right now because I have one of my old girlfriends here ...... all slurry and stuff,,,, and he is NOT one to cheat so this was totally upsurd.

When I came home he was passed out on the couch, his neck in this impossible position and the remote to the TV which was blarring in his hand. I turned the TV down first , then off and left him to wake to a stiff neck...

NewBeginning010

Just post on your facebook account "I have finally regained control of my account from some hacker" and leave it for a while so that you can focus on what is important right now... "Your Recovery"

Take Care,

NB

hopeful999

Jupitar, you are definitely not alone here. That was, without a doubt, the hugest most embarrassing thing I used to do drunk! Reach out to old boyfriends on FB, email, etc. Flirt with people that I really did not have an interest in. In the morning I would cringe to think of what I wrote. Ughhhhh.... It's a wonder these people are still friends with me. I have no idea why alcohol affected me this way. I would never call people on the phone. It was always emails, and facebook. So, I just wanted to say, for what it's worth, I did exactly the same thing.

I made a commitment to myself to not do it anymore. I made some changes in my life that have allowed me to do this. I feel better, and hope you can, too.

Laura

smacked

Yep, done it zillions of times. My friends and online acquantances are very happy that it doesn't happen anymore. It's also nice knowing every morning when I wake up, that I did nothing stupid that I can't remember the night before.

In terms of "getting over it" or whatever.. I don't know if that's stuff you should get over totally. Some of the most regrettable things I've done while drinking, still serve as motivation to stay away from it today. Now, I live a life that I'm proud of, with integrity, honesty, and very little embarrassment or regret.

FightingIrish

Yup...used to do it all the time...on e-mail, IM sessions, etc. I have a few people who still won't speak to me because of things I wrote. I also used to write these long missives to people I work with, including my boss. At the time I thought I was being so clever, so eloquent. Since getting sober almost two years ago, I don't do that anymore. My boss joked about how he doesn't get three page e-mails from me anymore between 6 and 8 pm.' Thankfully I still have that job.

I managed to end a friend's engagement by what I wrote on e-mail. He still won't take my amends.

mistycshore

Compared to what I did in real life, to people I know well and genuinely care about - the online stuff is nothing at all. Certainly not something to "feel like dying about." The online stuff is the least of my life. Maybe that makes me lucky; I don't know.

BKP

Powerless over it. Unless we said no more. This is the only true, logical and honest answer.

NEOMARXIST

Drinking Warps my mind, On my last binge I am told I was yelling out of my open window swearing obscenities at the top of my voice to no-one in particular. Can't really remember any of it. But it doesn't do much for self-esteem.

Man, I have sent so many crazy messages/voicemails and had so many crazy conversations with ex-girlfriends/girls who liked me and then who I pushed away due to being wasted when I spoke to them.

I have lost a couple of really hot girls who liked me when they first got to know me at the start of nights out when I had only been out for an hour or so, then they met me 4 hours later and I was a totally different person, I try not to dwell on it though as taking it as a positive is that they were interested at all.

slimjim30

I used to do this.

The first person I sent them to was a girl who I had a messy break up with. I'm not sure what they said but I remember her sending messages back pleading with me to stop doing this...

The second was my friend's girlfriend... I had a drunk crush on her and used to send her messages asking for dates and sex etc. She was always pretty good about it and never told my friend, but I'm so ashamed to this day (this was in 2002/03).

I only did this sort of thing in the first few years of my drinking career. It stopped for the last 6 or so years.