Rowan

Hi Tib,

It's hard to watch you continue to push people away. People really do wish to help - I'm one of them. But if you don't care enough to help yourself, what can I possibly say or do that could? I think that if you didn't care, you wouldn't be here sharing your situation. I am sorry for your son's circumstance, and hope that you are able to be there for him as a loving father.

I hope you decide to come clean about your relapse at the meetings. When I relapsed, it was with (initially) shame that I stood up, but afterwards I was filled with relief and gratitude. People care, Tib. They really do.

coffeenut

So...you used your 11 year old son as an excuse to go out and get drunk.

Maybe using the same excuse for getting sober would benefit you....and more than that, your son.

Draysin

6 months of sobriety is not gone. You had bad news, you drank.

I am taking a wild guess that you are not planning on continuing
to drink, now that the news of your son has settled down some?

I can only say this from my own experience --- the hardest
part for me has been to learn how to COPE with whatever
comes my way. Bad **** happens all the time. But I have
had to learn how to cope better.

If you had to do it all over again...what else MAY of helped?
(retorical question...no need to answer here )

Recovery is a process. I'm not going to spend hours looking back
over your past posts -for one thing, they are the past and
I seriously doubt bashing you (or anyone else) is the way to go.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other and
it will come together. You certainly don't appear to
be someone who has no clue what to do.

Peace...

Katie09

I have to jump in and interject. It's not always about excuses. When people are under stress, they often will regress to a way of coping they have used in the past. This is often not a necessarily good coping strategy. That's why it's important to develop healthy coping strategies so that when those difficult times hit us, we can fall back on something other than a drink or what have you. I learned this in my rehab. I'm working on it, working on it.

Not saying this applies in all situations, but it certainly does happen.

tiburon88

I've been going to a few AA meetings the last couple of days just to try to bum money. I must admit it's not working out to well because of me smelling like a Miller brewery. I went to the hospital to do an outpatient detox. I received some great pills only to start mixing them with booze. I can't go back to that hospital. As always stated here detox is serious business & obviously I'm a serious alcoholic.

tib

Rowan

You went to AA meetings with the sole purpose of bumming money?

Wow.

Maybe I was wrong earlier.

Katie09

So does this mean you need to detox again? My shrink gave me librium once. The next time I called him to detox he told me to go to the hospital (in patient), which I did not and I'm lucky I made it through. I did go to an IP detox once. If you think you are having another problem detoxing maybe something IP would be best for you?

tiburon88

I'd like to but I have no insurance. The hospital I went to gave me a 1-2 day detox as a favor to the police. Yes the police no joke. I feel as if I ought to be in jail instead. I realize I am lucky. If I have to drink I think I will just at my home. At least I'm safe.

tib

Pinkcuda

The other day I caught myself watching something about The Bermuda Triangle on The Discovery Channel. It dawned on me that I was actually expecting to actually see something different.
(subtle hint)

Dee74

I haven't seen much hope being offered in this thread, but that doesn't mean it's not there Tib.

I effed up royally for 15 years - I reached a point where I had to do something or die.

All of us, no matter how beat down, have to power to do something.
I hope you make the right choice mate.

D

Katie09

I don't know about where you live, but they do have FREE detox where I live. Now granted, it's not the Ritz, but those detoxing from alcohol are given priority due to the dangerous nature of detoxing from alcohol. Is this a possibility if you call a crisis line and ask about it?

lunarise

Tib~
I hope things are ok with your son. Im sorry you chose to stop taking care of yourself. You have the information you need to get to where you wanna go. you'll use it when youre ready I guess. Huge :ghug3

namaste

joedris

"I hate being an alcoholic and find it so shameful. It's hard living with myself." I suppose lying about your sobriety in order to get "respect" works wonders for your self esteem also. You feel like you're going to die an alcoholic and addict. I agree. You're throwing yourself one grand pity party here. What a legacy to leave an 11 year old son. I'm sure he'll grow up with proud memories.

OceanBound

What's more important to you: the perceived respect of other AA members or knowing in your heart that you have a solution to your problem? If AA doesn't work for you, try something else. I believe that if you can't be honest in the recovery program you choose, it won't work. Good luck!

Liberty47

Who says AA is the only way to get sober? Well, a lot of people LOL. But plenty have gotten sober without- I think one of the problems with AA is the denial of alcoholism as a chronic illness in the sense that "losing your time" is seen as a huge deal. No one flips out when a diabetic slips up and eats a cookie, your relapse is just a bump in the road- sure it was a rough week, but all in all if you've been sober more then you've been drunk in the past year, well than you're a sucess the majority of the time! Find a way that works for you- AA is a component of my recovery, but not the foundation due to the issues I have described with it previously. I've drank maybe 4 or 5 nights in the past year, but in the eyes of AA I'm a failure because I haven't had CONTINUOUS sobriety. Bosh! "If at first you don't succeed, try try again."

Nevertheless

Hello Tib
I believe the first prerequisite to sobriety is you have to WANT to stay sober. I'm not trying to be a smart ass. Every person has a side that wants to stay sober and a side that wants to drink. It's pretty plain to see your side that wants to drink is "winning".
You need a reason to want to quit and you have something I'll never have. An 11 year old son. Quit for him if nothing else Block out the anger and resentment and MAKE UP YOUR MIND. If you want to get mad at something, get mad at demon alcohol,and MAKE UP YOUR MIND. I QUIT THIS %$#^ ALCOHOL CRAP. Just do it. No excuses, Just do it.

Benjamin33

Best post in the entire thread. To all the others bashing him about his kid, do you people really think that's going to help him? "Do it for your son" "You suck because you drank and you have a son" Jesus, that kind of sh!t would hurt more than help me.

FightingIrish

I was merely speaking from my experience as the ten year-old son of an alcoholic who drank himself to death.

CarolD

Let's go back to 11-06 Tib...

SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Since then....you have been given much advice ...including resources
to alternatives to AA. Time after time we have suggested
supported and done all we could to assist you in finding your way.

Stop messing around ....yes you are dying.
So are we all....Geez!

Please don't give up on yourself....we do care.....
But....You gotta do the work

meditation

I have always wondered why people are always so eager to buy the struggling alcoholic a drink to "help them on their way" or to suggest an alcoholic keep on drinking? I just don't understand this sort of advice. It seems counterproductive and unhelpful. It seems arrogant and mean to me to advise someone with an issue to further continue in misery even if the well wisher thinks this is what is needed.
It also seems to be something said that would produce anger and further denial and further pushing away from an answer of AA. I don't think tough love really works on the mindset of a person that is struggling.
I hope Tib you can find your way thru this and find a way to deal with life in a way that doesn't involve drinking or using. I hope you can find any and every tool at your disposal and find people that can help you. Maybe even try NA over AA to see if that would help or another program of recovery. Take care and really hope you can feel better soon.