optra

Quote
"Meeting makers make it" what a big lie! lol
Tib
I have to agree with you on this. If all we do is make meetings we probably won't make it...I know I wouldn't have. The meetings(Fellowship) are a part of AA but they are not the PROGRAM. There is no record of Bill W or Dr Bob saying this. There is no step that says this. The twelve steps are suggested as a program of recovery. I liken that to saying that "Pull the ripcord before you hit the ground" would be a suggestion in sky diving lessons.
I'm not telling you that the 12 steps are the only solution or even the solution for you, just that they were and are for me.
Again your recovery path is YOURS

Jules62

Sure.And I'm aware I'm also casting aspersions here?But you have to agree that en masse?This was bullying-not helpful.Not about recovery.It just seemed like a huge ego war to me.

If I'm guilty of that in my response?Then ok.I'll take that on board as my reaction and my bad and apologise. I'm still appalled though.Regardless.

Katie09

Yes, good post. But it's got to be ok to go to AA and not do the steps, not have a sponsor, not pick up chips, etc. You said it yourself - 12 steps are suggested. I think if there were not the pressure in AA to follow all of the new rules, many more could hang with the program. Not sure if this applies to Tib or not, just thinking.

I am in favor of the core program. I am not in favor of what it's become. However, like any institution, rules and regulations are put into place.

optra

Katie
I'm trying to figure out what you mean by "new rules", and "core program"
The core program IS the 12 Steps. That said I absolutely agree people should be welcome to go to meetings and get what they can from them. I just find it unfortunate when people say that AA doesn't work for them and they haven't actually done the steps, kind of like going to a restaurant, not eating and saying you didn't enjoy the food.

Katie09

The core program, as I see it, was a bunch of drunks coming together with the primary purpose of not drinking and helping others. At that time, and I may be wrong, all of the new suggestions (read things that will get you shunned if you don't do them) were not required. At the time, it was a great thing. Nothing else worked. We're talking mid thirties and it was revolutionary. In the late 70s, when I went to AA, it was very different. I have a friend who attended his first meeting in 1964. It was very different. Things have changed throughout the years. There are new "suggestions" that are not even in the Big Book.

The Big Book also says the 12 steps are suggested. The thing I value or valued most about AA was just coming together with a bunch of people who had the desire to not drink. That's why I said the meeting after the meeting is what worked for me. Just a bunch of people struggling with the same issues not wanting to drink. More of a support group, if you will.

At any rate, I digress. Just seems to me that maybe Tib and others (like me) would be more comfortable with a looser definition of sobriety. For example, just because Tib drank for a week, he did not lose his sobriety. As long as he keeps trying, that is all that matters. His liver thanks him, his heart thanks him for every day of those six months he had. I can understand his concern with Time and Respect. It's a shame.

Katie09

For example, and I'll add something else. I remember a group I used to go to in N. California. There was this older woman who would show up at meetings drunk and fall asleep. No one ever judged her. Everyone just let her fall asleep. They thought bring the body and the mind will follow. That to me is the core of AA. Tolerance, love and understanding (unless I am quoting incorrectly), which I can argue has been in short supply in this thread from some people.

optra

Love and tolerance is our code. And I agree that it does seem to be in short supply, which is why I stressed that Tib's path is his own and honestly do wish him all the best. My intention was not to tell anyone what path they should follow, only to share what is working for me.
Thanks Katie

bugsworth

Tib...so glad you posted...it means your alive and safe...two things that at the end of my drinking career that were not always guaranteed. I was at the point that I could not predict the outcome of any given night once I started drinking....it seems you might be at the same place. I don't know if you really want to quit drinking...only you know that...I will tell you that sobriety brings rewards that you can't find in a bottle...some subtle and some amazingly profound. You deserve better and so does your family.

I agree with Jules that the biggest form of coddling I see here at SR are directed at those who want applause for waking up in the morning. Life is not easy, we live in a crazy world many times it just makes no sense but it is the reality of our time...we need to suit up and show up for what ever life has to offer us.

Regarding the question of what is there other than aa I will respectfully say that life is what you make it...after leaving aa I decided to pursue the things I could not do while drunk...I went back to the martial arts...I started running...I spend time at my local library reading all the magazines I don't feel like paying 5 bucks to buy...I work...take care of my family and all in all lead a pretty productive life. aa provided me a place to dry out, for that I am thankful as far as the religious teachings I prefer to utilize the religion I grew up with...My Mom always said God helps those who help themselves. Turns out my Mom was one smart cookie.

CarolD

Because the OP has many of you on Ignore
some members are getting upset with others
and some mebers are being redundant....

Time to close this thread.

Thanks to all who participated