Counting Sobriety Days Harmful For Some??
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
And what would you defind as DoS...
The LAST TIME you had a drink....whenever that is.
If it was 1 year ago ..then it's one year ago.
If it was last week then it's last week.
See how simple that is....KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID.
It's not that complicated.
Maybe you're still detoxing , in a fog, killed too brian cells.....i dunno.
The LAST TIME you had a drink....whenever that is.
If it was 1 year ago ..then it's one year ago.
If it was last week then it's last week.
See how simple that is....KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID.
It's not that complicated.
Maybe you're still detoxing , in a fog, killed too brian cells.....i dunno.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Counting Sobriety Days harmful For Some?
Originally Posted by tiburon88 
I believe that I need to be honest with myself and do what will help me in recovery. I don't need to be honest with AA folks. The folks that I run across are way too judgemental.This is between my higher power and myself. I am glad I did not share this "relapse" as many would call it with group members. May 10, I will be picking up my 1 year chip and cake!!! In the mean time, I will be looking at other recovery options and encourage others who feel like myself to do the same.
I had a spiritual person (minister) in AA I counseled with after I relapsed with amphetamines years ago. She said I was still sober; I knew it was a lie. I started over with day 1. Then I relpased with marijuana:
Went back to day 1 in AA.
Relapsed with pills again. Back to day 1 in whatever program. (Relapsed badly, and sucidally with alcohol and happy pills last year.) I had my last drink on 2/9/06 and my last drug on 6/8/06. Only God could have done that.
Now, how could I lie to myself if, now, I dabbled as I always did with one substance or another and expect Higher Power to take all of my day and take care of me and my sobrety if I lie to myself? How could I when this has proven to me to be the ONLY way I can continue to recover.
I am have recently been diagnosed with a mental disorder that makes me feel weird much of the time. Should I give up now and begin drinking and or using because I have not succeeded, because I "feel bad?".
I don't want to, don't have to because The Big Book of AA tells me, gives me the hope, that ANYONE can recover
"if they have the capacity to be honest with themselves."
I'm sorry, but I am frankly surprised that more vets here haven't told you about the physical progression of the disease of alcoholism. When you pick up, your body recognizes the allergy and runs with it. The cravings return, and so on.
I am not trying to be hard on you just concerned about the dishonesty. I would think the cake would stick a little in your throat and you might get thirsty?
Sorry for being harsh, but they were always harsh with me too because they cared. Many thought I had died, and I saw tears in many eyes when they saw me again. No judgement.
Tiburon:
That first sweet second, minute, hour, day after your last drink was a second chance. I hope you can see that and be proud of it and yourself.
Honestly.
With all love and hope for you;
IO Storm
Last edited by IO Storm; 03-10-2007 at 10:55 PM.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Originally posted by Golfman:
People, please remember that AA and this board are but a microcosm of the world we live in. No one has cornered the market on recovery. There have been many times when I've warned newcomers in AA to take very special care when it comes to sharing their secrets or picking a sponsor. Remember, we are trying for progress, not perfection.
Thanks, Golfman for reminding me.
We try for progress, not perfection. Sorry for gettin' up on my hidie horse.
I remember a wise, old AA lady who used to tell newcomers...
"Don't tell everything to your sponsor because they just might get drunk and tell your story all over town".
Love,
IO Storm
People, please remember that AA and this board are but a microcosm of the world we live in. No one has cornered the market on recovery. There have been many times when I've warned newcomers in AA to take very special care when it comes to sharing their secrets or picking a sponsor. Remember, we are trying for progress, not perfection.
Thanks, Golfman for reminding me.
We try for progress, not perfection. Sorry for gettin' up on my hidie horse.
I remember a wise, old AA lady who used to tell newcomers...
"Don't tell everything to your sponsor because they just might get drunk and tell your story all over town".
Love,
IO Storm
Last edited by IO Storm; 03-10-2007 at 11:15 PM. Reason: addition
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,415
People, please remember that AA and this board are but a microcosm of the world we live in. No one has cornered the market on recovery. There have been many times when I've warned newcomers in AA to take very special care when it comes to sharing their secrets or picking a sponsor. Remember, we are trying for progress, not perfection.
If there are any bullies/bigshots on this or any other recovery site, they are sick people who need help. At the same time, no one has the right to impose their way of life on others.
If there are any bullies/bigshots on this or any other recovery site, they are sick people who need help. At the same time, no one has the right to impose their way of life on others.
St_Kurt, apologies for misunderstanding your initial post.
Thread hijack over....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
Okay,okay I'm sorry, i should rephrase it.
Tiburon88 can drink his beer and eat his cake too.
Thats a good message we can send to new comers.lol
lie to the group , lie to whom ever you want...we understand.
Do whatever works or until you get caught.
So the lesson is not to stop doing whatever works, its not to get caught.
hell...nobody drives the speed limits anywho...just don't get caught.lol
Tiburon88 can drink his beer and eat his cake too.
Thats a good message we can send to new comers.lol
lie to the group , lie to whom ever you want...we understand.
Do whatever works or until you get caught.
So the lesson is not to stop doing whatever works, its not to get caught.
hell...nobody drives the speed limits anywho...just don't get caught.lol
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 666
Tiburon,
Is it an AA meeting in which you'll be eating cake and celebrating with a medallion? If so, think about it. You're just hurting yourself. My guess is that you'll get more love and understanding, and help, if you pick up a one day chip and eat the cake afterwards. That could help a lot of people. That would take courage and strength. Dig deep, my friend, you might be surprised at what you find. You might like it. I did.
Mike
Is it an AA meeting in which you'll be eating cake and celebrating with a medallion? If so, think about it. You're just hurting yourself. My guess is that you'll get more love and understanding, and help, if you pick up a one day chip and eat the cake afterwards. That could help a lot of people. That would take courage and strength. Dig deep, my friend, you might be surprised at what you find. You might like it. I did.
Mike
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
Posts: 595
Originally Posted by SaTiT
Okay,okay I'm sorry, i should rephrase it.
Tiburon88 can drink his beer and eat his cake too.
Thats a good message we can send to new comers.lol
lie to the group , lie to whom ever you want...we understand.
Do whatever works or until you get caught.
So the lesson is not to stop doing whatever works, its not to get caught.
hell...nobody drives the speed limits anywho...just don't get caught.lol
Tiburon88 can drink his beer and eat his cake too.
Thats a good message we can send to new comers.lol
lie to the group , lie to whom ever you want...we understand.
Do whatever works or until you get caught.
So the lesson is not to stop doing whatever works, its not to get caught.
hell...nobody drives the speed limits anywho...just don't get caught.lol
I'm gettin' so many good vibes from you I can't stand staying away. I do remember one thing I heard a long time ago. Let's see....Oh yeah, now I remember..."some of us are sicker than others."
Please keep posting, you're an inspiration to us all.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Counting Sobriety Days Harmful for Some?
If counting doesn't work for you, then by all means don't. I personally can't imagine the harm in counting unless you always seem to be back at one day. At that point you may as well be counting drunk days instead.
Although I don't go to AA I would imagine picking up chip in spite of a relapse would be the equivalent of receiving the Holy Eucharist if you haven't reached that sacrament. JMO.
If counting doesn't work for you, then by all means don't. I personally can't imagine the harm in counting unless you always seem to be back at one day. At that point you may as well be counting drunk days instead.
Although I don't go to AA I would imagine picking up chip in spite of a relapse would be the equivalent of receiving the Holy Eucharist if you haven't reached that sacrament. JMO.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Fluttering About
Posts: 3,760
Chip is being sent to Pilgrim --already taken care of with a happy heart and a smile
To the person in the UK--bveglad to send you one too if you'd like--
Wish I could have said that anonymously--But anyway----
Today is a gift!!
To the person in the UK--bveglad to send you one too if you'd like--
Wish I could have said that anonymously--But anyway----
Today is a gift!!
Last edited by Fluttering; 03-11-2007 at 04:13 PM.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Counting Sobriety.....
Originally Posted by Nuudawn
Try as I might I can't seem to find anything in the Big Book that mentions a darn thing about counting days or sobriety chips. It's not in there.
You are sober Tib and going forward. That's all that matters. Do not let a slip deter you from sobriety. Getting/staying sober is the point..not how much time you've "racked up" or how many chips you have. If that is what the program is reduced to... I got a problem with that.
From my understanding, AA does its darndest to be a flexible and as all inviting as it possibly can. I've heard..the program won't fail you, but the people might. I believe that. I truly appreciate the community and support I receive from AA but there are some aspects and some people I don't spend a whole lot of time mulling over. I take what I need and leave the rest.
You are sober Tib and going forward. That's all that matters. Do not let a slip deter you from sobriety. Getting/staying sober is the point..not how much time you've "racked up" or how many chips you have. If that is what the program is reduced to... I got a problem with that.
From my understanding, AA does its darndest to be a flexible and as all inviting as it possibly can. I've heard..the program won't fail you, but the people might. I believe that. I truly appreciate the community and support I receive from AA but there are some aspects and some people I don't spend a whole lot of time mulling over. I take what I need and leave the rest.
One year is 365 consecutive days of sobriety accumulated.
So, does a person have a year with a little black hole stuck back there in it somewhere?
Sorry to sound like a purist, but the rigorous honesty thing keeps me sober.
Love,
IO Storm
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
Posts: 595
Sorry about that, it's in the Alcoholism 12-Step Forum.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ory-chips.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ory-chips.html
Last edited by CarolD; 03-11-2007 at 07:28 PM. Reason: Added Link
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They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living that demands rigorous honesty.
In fact he may say anything if he has accepted our solution which, as you know, demands rigorous honesty.
Beleif in the power of God, willingness, honesty and humility to establish and maintain the new order of things, were the essential requirements.
It will not take long for you to decide if you are honest with yourself about it.
Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you.
Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionaly incapable of being honest with themselves.
Ha Ha, charade you are!
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Tallahassee FL
Posts: 164
Hi Tib,
I was sober for almost 11 years in the late 80s and 90s. I went to back to AA in 1999 after going back out. All I remember at that first AA meeting then was that I was respected for having come back to the rooms and not having let the embarrassment and shame I felt hold me back. I have been in and out since then. As of today, I have 18 days of COMMITTED sobriety. I guess it helps me to count because I can see how far I have come. I am happy and proud of myself. I also have seen over the past month or so the incredible support and backing I have from family, friends, coworkers, Professors/Field Instructor and of course my AA friends. I guess not only do I not want to let myself down, but its all these people who have such faith in me when I did not have it myself that I do not want to let down. Each day I can count is a reward for me. The longer I have, the less likely I am to relapse. I guess I am a perfectionist and I do not like to see "breaks" in the line. Well anyway-just babbling now I guess. Each of us has different ways to deal with this disease-find what works, you don't have to answer to anyone but yourself-if you can go to bed without your stomach churning and your head spinning from all the "voices", then you have done the right thing! Good luck to you and don't make it so hard. I was told today-SIMPLIFY!
Melissa
I was sober for almost 11 years in the late 80s and 90s. I went to back to AA in 1999 after going back out. All I remember at that first AA meeting then was that I was respected for having come back to the rooms and not having let the embarrassment and shame I felt hold me back. I have been in and out since then. As of today, I have 18 days of COMMITTED sobriety. I guess it helps me to count because I can see how far I have come. I am happy and proud of myself. I also have seen over the past month or so the incredible support and backing I have from family, friends, coworkers, Professors/Field Instructor and of course my AA friends. I guess not only do I not want to let myself down, but its all these people who have such faith in me when I did not have it myself that I do not want to let down. Each day I can count is a reward for me. The longer I have, the less likely I am to relapse. I guess I am a perfectionist and I do not like to see "breaks" in the line. Well anyway-just babbling now I guess. Each of us has different ways to deal with this disease-find what works, you don't have to answer to anyone but yourself-if you can go to bed without your stomach churning and your head spinning from all the "voices", then you have done the right thing! Good luck to you and don't make it so hard. I was told today-SIMPLIFY!
Melissa
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Well guess I get to jump in now. I really do not count, but when I look at my watch and see that I have (what ever #) 70 today. I am just happy to know that I have been true to my self, my famally, my home group, My God for that long. I just can not fathum standing in front of all these people excepting a chip ( or any reward) for some thing I have not done. At this point I feel have done so much harm to so many people maybe it is time to make some of it up.
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Chicago, IL
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If you don't consider it a relapse, then it doesn't really count as a drinking day. I would encourage newcomers to do the same. Like I said before, it's honesty with oneself. I feel I am being honest and deserve the cake and 1 year chip. A few AA folks will even take me out to dinner. Let me ask you folks this, what's the big deal?? It's progress not perfection.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
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Tib,
Although I have shared my feelings on to count or not to count or eating a cake with someone who had a slip. I am not a proponent of dishonesty. You can accept that cake ...BUT it would be an awesome time for you to fess up to the slip. If you believe you deserve that cake (which I don't disagree with) than you have to have the cajones to say why. You have to believe in yourself and what you stand for. Omitting the truth is no different than lying. You can't lie. You can have your cake and eat it too but good gosh, be honest at that podium.
Although I have shared my feelings on to count or not to count or eating a cake with someone who had a slip. I am not a proponent of dishonesty. You can accept that cake ...BUT it would be an awesome time for you to fess up to the slip. If you believe you deserve that cake (which I don't disagree with) than you have to have the cajones to say why. You have to believe in yourself and what you stand for. Omitting the truth is no different than lying. You can't lie. You can have your cake and eat it too but good gosh, be honest at that podium.
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