Tazman53

Stone hang in there, once you knock the beast down he is easier to keep down, but you have to stay right on top of him or he will start working out and come back stronger then ever.

I remember what you did after your first meeting, maybe you should consider riding with someone, they probably will not stop where you did last time!

stone

I won't be doing that again Taz

gypsytears

What time is the AA meeting? It's almost 8pm for you isn't it ?

stone

I didn't go-don't shout!

I will go tomorrow. Anyway, a little update.
I am not drinking today. I have just been listening to that radio station chris recommended about AA. It was a talk on spiriuality and how it applies to AA and I loved it, the speaker was just brilliant.
I seem to be oscillating between fear and calm atm but my mantra for today is 'just don't drink'.

chrisj728

urite Stone, Glad to hear your getting in to radio 365,just gives it you from a different angle & shows that in amongst all the sh1t were wading through there can be humour while making a serious point.
Hey Stone try and get to the meeting tomoz it will be worth it.
inabit
chris

stone

Hi chris, you OK yourself? I am not so bad at all really, feeling quite positive.
I am actually scared to go to AA tomorrow but I know I have to go. I am just practicing getting out of the chair now in fact

gypsytears

If you get yourself one of those chairs with wheels, you could just roll to a meeting .

stone

Not a bad idea gypsy lol

chrisj728

lol stone,nice reply gypsy!
I not so bad mate,dont like fridays though, end of the working week for so long meant,no comitments, no deadlines to keep,no customers or employers to keep happy & certainly no need to stay sober.I'd generaly mark the fact by getting a Ltr on the way home to just ease myself into the weekend. A fkn big hole to fill now i'm not drinking when friday comes.
Sorry stone I just got a load of self pitty drop on my head but i'm alright now.I know those days are gone never to return as long as I stay focussed and aware that I am an alcoholic in recovery and to take one drink would send me back to meet the four horsemen. (big book chptr 11 a vision for you)
TERROR-that ive drank again
BEWILDERMENT-as to why I drank
FRUSTRATION-that I cant help myself
DESPAIR-that I dont know the solution
That one short bit from the whole of the big book was the bit I could relate to most,so when I am realy sruggling like today I just think back to those four words.Try it yourself stone,but you'll have to say what each word means for you, like i've done above.
Give it a shot and be brutaly honest with yourself in your responce.This could be the seed you need planting in your head,to kickstart your recovery.Thats what SR & AA are all about,you read or listen to other peoples shares and use them as guids as the get sober.Just like radio 365,I told you about it,you tried it & liked what it gave you so you'll now keep trying it,thats the very ethos that AA is built on and it has worked for millions of recoving alcoholis so why shouldn't it work for you.
chris

stone

I am building up these type of things in my head to help fight it-like you are talking about, I heard today 'what would drinking help?', it seems like a too simple or naiive a question but somehow it has helped me today when a craving hit. It somehow confused the craving part of me lol. It was like 'huh?'.
I will have a look at that chapter 11a. in the morning and have a think about those horsemen.

gypsytears

I guess my way of recovery might not suit you stonerat, as it is very simplistic and possibly quite naiive. Feel free to give it a try though. It is as simple as this : just stop drinking. That's it. No catchy slogans or anything.

Oh, I'm not saying it was easy. In fact it was so simple that I was too simple to see what I needed to not do sooner. Much sooner. Stop drinking.

I was actually just google searching for some castor wheels to mail you. Man, I must find a hobby LOL .

stone

I was saying that the simplistic and naiive thing worked for me gypsy, not the other way around.
It is the simple ones that are the best, I say basically the same thing to myself-'just don't drink'.
Castor wheels lol! Or a jetpack maybe?
No need to search, I am going to AA tomorrow. Well today since it is 1.37am here now.
Night night gypsy babe

gypsytears

I think a jetpack might be out of my $$$ range. Maybe I'll check eBay.

G'night Stonerat .

chrisj728

sound Stone, see you tomoz,well done on a dry one today.

KJJ

having as much difficulty as you tapering isn't working...zero, none and

at the same time I think I can slow it down..The treatment programs I've been through do teach about THIQ and how the actual scans of alcoholics vs. non's differ. Alot. I still have alot of anger about alcohol. ThinkThink, Think...alone..but I DO (lol) make plans while I'm drinking.

I have Prilocec for the acid, just wondering if you take anything for yours

It's so nice to hear on SR about people that have some sobriety...Taz, Glass, etc...

I can go to the ER here, but I've done that with no extra clothing, no personal items, and then I go to detox, no choice, hair intangles, scratches, bruises, and last time a broken arm and BTW when I was about 35, I fought over anything at a bar...especially who put their quarters up 1st

So you'e just waiting on March?

Did I mention once before I broke my arm,totally drunk at my parents,arm in a cast for 5 months You ask I can tell you about the ulna and radial bones!

love in unity

stone

Hi KJJ, I am not tapering now. As far as I am concerned I have stopped drinking. I detoxed by myself last week really, when it got too bad I drank some brandy. That was three days ago.
I realised I am an alcoholic and I can't drink. That is such a huge thought that I am not focusing on it, just doing the day by day not drinking.

I am still going to the clinic in march as they have out-patient programs etc, it would be nice to go sober.

Do you need medical supervision to detox or do think you could do it alone? Good luck KJJ, forget cutting down if you know your an alcoholic, but you know that. You have to stop.

I take Cipramil for my acid.

chrisj728

morning stone, you sound good this morning & realy positive/focused about where your at.Going to NIA for athletics meeting now so will spk inabit.
chris.

earlybird

Detoxing isnt detoxing if you do it alone. DOCTORS call it detoxing. Alone,...its just called "hoping you survive". Doctors will eliminate the risk. Why would you "make sure" the risks are there by going it alone? Laziness? Embarrassment? This thing is beating you down, yet, you refuse to do what you know is right.

paulmh

Take it easy earlybird. Stonerat is doing as much as you and I can do today - not picking up that first drink, seeking out the company of other alcoholics.

Good on you mate - I'm glad you've made that leap into accepting you're an alcoholic. I think a lot of us have found that acceptance is a really great tool!

stone

Three things...

I changed my name to stone, felt like a change

I didn't go to AA lol.

I am not drinking.