Lenina

Bim, thanks for that. I always knew there had to be more to it. I react badly to many meds, have paradoxal reactions etc. Even the tricyclics all are side effects for me. But they don't help me sleep. the first one, Ascenden (1981 or so) I think it was called, made me sleep but wiped my personality, And then after a few months, didn't help me with sleep but turned me into a Zombie. I felt like I was wrapped in cotton. The world was a haze.

I was given Prozac, my doctor had me empty a capsule into eight ounces of apple juice and take a quarter cup daily. It turned me into a quaking, shaking chihuahua. Horrible horrible horrible. It was like extreme agitation. Like too much caffeine.

I know there's something not right with my body, no one will listen. After years and years my family doctor understands. AO fear the day he retires. My rheumatologist has passed, my GYN passed but his replacement in the practice tries hard. I don't have much in the way of GYN issues. The endocrinologist is not at all receptive. And I saw this new cardiologist wh strictly a man "of science" so Woe is Moo I'm afraid on that level too. Zi swear, I'd probably have better luck and probably better care with a bone rattling, chicken feather casting bruja.

I'll be back later. I have to take care of a few things before I launch out.

Love from Lenina

Gilmer

Prozac gave me shingles! Zoloft made me suicidal.

silentrun

That's kind of how the Effexor is starting to making me feel. I have only been on it for a little over 2 weeks. The Celexa worked really well but it put weight on. I went off it for about 6 weeks and did OK but started mood swinging again. I know if I got my diet under control and exercised more I would probably be able to handle the rest of the mood swings. I'm off sugar and processed foods so that's a great start. The coffee is sneaking up on me again. That's probably causing some problems. My sleep habits are horrible so I should probably put myself on a schedule.
Considering how far I have come getting off the alcohol those things seem small and doable.
I go back into the doc next week. I'm going off the caffeine today and see if I feel calmer by my next appointment.

courage2

See my post on the 24 Hour thread I think Thursday night:



She's a lovely lady, and suffers at least as much from her own snakes as others do from her stony stare.

walkbeformakrun

All this posting about prescription mood altering drugs and how bad they make you feel. Even if you could take them, isn't that just escaping with a prescription instead of booze? Maybe those of you that can't take them are the lucky ones. The rest of us had to try them and live with them before realizing it is just another dead end escape.

Gilmer

Mine fix problems like depression and delusions, they are not helping me escape. They do not affect my level of consciousness.

silentrun

They don't get you high. My mind and mood was working more like it was when I was in my 20's and early 30's before the alcoholism and before the peri menopause symptoms. I felt like "me" again. The past 18 months with the sobering up and the hormone fluctuations has been brutal. I was constantly talking myself off the ledge. I went the first year without anything. I would recommend to a friend to at least talk to a doctor about them. They really do help. I might just go back to the Celexa and deal with the weight through diet. I don't plan to be on them long term but I feel like I need some help getting things like my health back on track. I am actively trying to do that but it's hard for me to focus when I am angry all the time.

Dee74

The various prescribed drugs I take these days keep me in the game, not out of it walkbeformakrun

D

courage2

Before Lexapro and after I quit drinking, I was a walking shell. I don't honestly care if I'm on a maintenance dose of something for the rest of my life. I don't think it's an abusable drug, I'm not abusing it, and it helps me be relatively sane. It doesn't help me escape anything, it helps me face things.

walkbeformakrun

It is not that I have not taken them. I have. Many kinds. Long term, some of them. I've tried everything chemistry has to offer at some point or other in my life.

I keep leaving them behind though. I walk before they make me run. Lol.

Having recently said good bye to beer and other booze, another good friend, now I'm on to meditation. I'm finding that I can tolerate my inner pain and demons. I can let them be, accept them. I found that any medication or substance eventually has a beneficial limitation that I did not tolerate.

That is just my personal experience. Your mileage may vary.

PurpleKnight

We need to separate out medications that are required and prescribed as part of medical treatment compared to those that are abused outside of a proper Dr diagnosis.

There is nothing wrong with being prescribed medication, type 1 diabetics require insulin for the rest of their lives, they're never going to outgrow needing them, they will never overcome their life long requirement to a prescription of insulin.

Other conditions as diagnosed by a Dr can be the same, everyone has a different journey!!

Dee74

I tried no medications and nearly got a divorce I was that much beleaguered by pain and hard to live with

Good for you though, Walk

D

BackToSquareOne

I tried a lot of different medications for depression, currently only take Lexapro. None of them really seemed to do much of anything for me. The only real cause and effect thing I can find is that when I'm very active and exercise on a regular basis the depression is way less, when I sit around and focus on depression and feeling lousy it gets worse. It does seem in my case the depression feeds on itself in a big way.

I know that every case is different and what works for one might not work for another but we can all try to figure out what makes it worse and try to avoid doing those things. Much easier said than done and not focusing on feeling lousy when that's how we feel is never easy. The only thing I know for sure is that it does feed on itself so I try not to feed it .

biminiblue

I'm not going to have the "to med or not to med" argument because if there is one thing I've learned by looking closely at this pharmacogenetic testing, it is that there are genetic differences across populations.

With my personal genetic soup, I'm like Glimmer. I can't take the very drugs that are supposed to help with the noise. I've tried. My particular DNA has consequences. It isn't a combination that is found in the entire human population - just a small percentage of it. It was a real game-changer for me. I now have a list - on paper- of medications that my liver enzymes are not equipped to metabolize fully. Some progressive doctors will use this info, but it's a tough sell. No matter, I have this info and I am my own best advocate. I took the reins out of my doctors' hands. I'm done trying every new pill that comes along. I've decided (and it works) to use diet/supplements/exercise/meditation. I really had no choice. Like Cow, I couldn't make anything else work after years of trying the best tools of the medical world. Some of you can take SSRIs and they help you. The studies always have outliers in efficacy on any drug - I am that outlier. I'm not a Special Snowflake - God made me this way. His signature is on my DNA.

The hard thing is that, like Cow, I have been told I'm doing it wrong for decades. Turns out I haven't. I have been listening to my body and heeding my warnings and doctors have been doing what works for the majority, of course. Any good doctor is still "practicing" - they don't have all the answers.

I used to argue in forums about medication. It took me 25 years of experimenting with all manner of doctor-prescribed pharmaceuticals before I had that DNA test done. The day I read those results, I cried because there it was. Everything I had been telling doctors for years - there it was. I was somewhat of a Special Snowflake. Only a small percentage of people are Intermediate Metabolizers. There are another small percentage who are Poor Metabolizers - which is even more severe. They have it even worse than I do. Then there are the Extensive Metabolizers - I wouldn't want their problem either.

I'd say that if pharmaceuticals work for you - thank God for that. If they don't, and you have uncomfortable side effects - seek out that test. I'll talk about it in PM if you want the name of the company I used (disclaimer, I did work for them for five years - but there is at least one large institutional lab/Medical School that also does the same tests - and have done so for 20 years or so.) It's a fairly new field, since the Human Genome Project. Like I said, insurers and pharmaceutical companies both would like to see this not become their problem - but the tide is slowly turning toward personalized medicine. For now only the informed and those with personal resources are using it.

gardendiva

So glad there's a new Cow thread!

biminiblue

So I went to reread my DNA test results.

Apparently being an Extensive Metabolizer is a good thing - well, it is described as "normal."

Two of my tests came back with EM. One came back with Intermediate Metabolizer. I had three different genotypes tested. I think there are two or three more that are offered now, maybe more. Each additional genotype tested is more $$$. I just tested the ones that were available at the time. (2004)

Just wanted to clarify, in case someone was Googling, I was wrong about EM being a "problem."

D'oh.

Cow

Hi Guinea Pig! How is you doing? You still off the wagon? I go off wagon with coffee. And wagon run over me couple times then careen into ditch and explode. Make my innards flare up. Cause TOTAL INSANE mania for booze, which I not able to contain, so drink wine, which I end up projectile vomiting all other bathroom, which was for best, not for bathroom, but for me.

And why does all this happen. Cuz I was actual feeling little bit better and was my birthday and I wanted freaking cup of delicious coffee that morning. I know. Goddammit. Yes, I can feel hot breath of hopelessness on my neck. But I not can even look at it, not even acknowledge it. I can't. I just has to keep going. Cuz if I look hopelessness in eyes, I gonna see that it own me. So I just keepa go. Just keepa go, Cow.

Lenina

Dear, Cow. Keep running. Do not let it kill you. And that is its purpose. To use your body until it kills it. That is the nature of the Beast.

I'm back to work. I'll be back and forth all month, Very busy calendar for me. It just one month, right? I will manage.

As of October 1, I have four years off smoking, on December 1, I will have seven years sober. I am grateful.

I find the DNA thing very interesting, I want to know much more about it. It might answer lots of questions for me.

Everyone please take care of yourselves. I know there has to be some Grace somewhere for us.

Cow, you do deserve Papa's money. Please outlive him. If for no other Reason.

Love from Lenina Crazy Assed and all

PS. I hope this isn't too rude. cow, please invite me to his funeral. I want to wear a red dress to it.

gardendiva

Yes Cow, I'm still drinking every day. Unless I'm too hungover. But I'm out of the woods from the last bout with depression. But I drank so much Saturday that I fell down. Twice.

Lenina

Guinea Pig, do you want to quit drinking? I know for me it was a long road before I really wanted to quit. I just didn't want to be a drunk anymore. And the alcohol wasn't working.

I don't know how to make that happen for other people. I wish I did.

XXOO LeeLee