What I don't miss. . . . . . .
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: South Dakota, USA
Posts: 1,429
A guy in my AA meeting told me today that if we don't remember our last drink, we haven't had it yet. I can't believe how true this is. It is easy for the thoughts of the "fun" we had while drinking to creep back in. But remembering the bad, constant misery towards the end helps keep us sober.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Illinois
Posts: 19
Ok - I'll play........
- I don't miss worrying whether I'm going to lose everything I'd worked for if I kill or severely injure someone while driving drunk.
- I don't miss crawling to bed to pass out and waking up at 3 AM and having to go to work the next day with my eyes about to fall out of my head.
- I don't miss worrying whether I'm going to lose everything I'd worked for if I kill or severely injure someone while driving drunk.
- I don't miss crawling to bed to pass out and waking up at 3 AM and having to go to work the next day with my eyes about to fall out of my head.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Heywood,Gtr.Manchester
Posts: 242
Without wishing to sound . . . . .
Without wishing to sound complacent, remembering everything I'velearned and all thesupport I've had on SCR, the onething Idon't miss is alcohol.Given that our disease is called alcohol-ISM, the -ISM'sareon the way out to, like it says in the Big Book,'God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves', so thanks everybody!
writing this is like an open wound for me... but... i had posted this on another discussion board, though i really feel like it fits here much better...
i dont miss leaving my children unattended while i am partying next door and being robbed while they slept in thier bed
i dont miss feeling that guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach when i have to look into my husbands eyes and lie to him and tell him i have done nothing wrong...again, knowing he knows i am lying
i dont miss having to hide my alcohol in the bushes and wait for my husband to leave to go to work to go anxiously get it and get wasted
i dont miss getting so wasted that i call "that guy" many guys, at different times, at midnight to come over just to %&$
i dont miss taking the risk of something happening while i of run to to the corner to get more beer while my kids slept
I dont miss the risk of injuring myself or anyone else while driving under the influence
i dont miss waking up with all the lights on T.V. blaring and a handprint bruise on my wrist after a night of being at home, when i thought i was by myself...mother of all blackouts
i AM grateful though for having a loving husband that knows all of these things about me and is still here for me and loves me for only God knows why because i am not at that place yet to forgive myself for all of these terrible things that i have done.
crys
__________________
i dont miss leaving my children unattended while i am partying next door and being robbed while they slept in thier bed
i dont miss feeling that guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach when i have to look into my husbands eyes and lie to him and tell him i have done nothing wrong...again, knowing he knows i am lying
i dont miss having to hide my alcohol in the bushes and wait for my husband to leave to go to work to go anxiously get it and get wasted
i dont miss getting so wasted that i call "that guy" many guys, at different times, at midnight to come over just to %&$
i dont miss taking the risk of something happening while i of run to to the corner to get more beer while my kids slept
I dont miss the risk of injuring myself or anyone else while driving under the influence
i dont miss waking up with all the lights on T.V. blaring and a handprint bruise on my wrist after a night of being at home, when i thought i was by myself...mother of all blackouts
i AM grateful though for having a loving husband that knows all of these things about me and is still here for me and loves me for only God knows why because i am not at that place yet to forgive myself for all of these terrible things that i have done.
crys
__________________
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
I dont miss the anxiety...the bloated yucky feeling in my stomach...the bad skin....puffy face..and eyes....the need to always make sure there was enough booze around....fighting with my boyfriend when drunk....having no money.... wow the list could go on and on!!!
Waking up to 1/3 left of the big Vodka bottle. A lot to most people but you know how it is.
Going through this scenario…
I need to get another bottle so I don’t run out tonight. I work till 10pm so I have to get one before cuz they won’t sell after 9pm. Do I go to one of the 3 places I rotate through in Town? It’s daytime, the same people are working and they might recognize me. I really don’t have time to go to one of the places outside of town I go to to break it up.
I look at the bottle again – is there enough there? Sure there is, I’ll drink less tonight. Oh screw it, I’ll get another bottle just in case. I’ll wear a hat at the liquor store and maybe they won’t recognize me.
In the store – I know, instead of walking right up and grabbing the cheap Vodka, I’ll walk around like I’m looking at other stuff. Then they won’t know. Walk around, get to my aisle, grab the cheap Vodka.
Go to pay for it – Do they recognize me? Can they tell I have still have alcohol in my system? Do they think I’m an alcoholic?
Went through this scenario sooooo often! Haven’t been through it in 50+ days. NEVER want to be there again! Thank you God! Thank you to that first person that helped me from another recovery site! Thank you SR!
Going through this scenario…
I need to get another bottle so I don’t run out tonight. I work till 10pm so I have to get one before cuz they won’t sell after 9pm. Do I go to one of the 3 places I rotate through in Town? It’s daytime, the same people are working and they might recognize me. I really don’t have time to go to one of the places outside of town I go to to break it up.
I look at the bottle again – is there enough there? Sure there is, I’ll drink less tonight. Oh screw it, I’ll get another bottle just in case. I’ll wear a hat at the liquor store and maybe they won’t recognize me.
In the store – I know, instead of walking right up and grabbing the cheap Vodka, I’ll walk around like I’m looking at other stuff. Then they won’t know. Walk around, get to my aisle, grab the cheap Vodka.
Go to pay for it – Do they recognize me? Can they tell I have still have alcohol in my system? Do they think I’m an alcoholic?
Went through this scenario sooooo often! Haven’t been through it in 50+ days. NEVER want to be there again! Thank you God! Thank you to that first person that helped me from another recovery site! Thank you SR!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Good post Ghostly...you know what comes to mind as you have reminded me of the huge amount of effort and thought that went into maintaining my drinking...if every alcoholic put as much effort and thought into their recovery as they did to their drinking there would be a load more recovered alcoholics!
Jujitsu practice with hangovers
Going to work 12 hour shifts with hangovers
Beer cans covering my coffee table and kitchen counters
Early morning Budweiser to relieve the hangovers
Wasting all my free time with hangovers and drunk
Being arrested
All the spending on alcohol
Waking up to a nasty house with a hangover
Stagering while I walk my dog
Shame of waking up with another hangover wondering why I keep doing this
Oh did I mention hangovers?
Pissing all over my bathroom because I couldn't hit the toilet
Not eating for days while I binged on beer
Not remembering movies, concerts....ect
Going to work 12 hour shifts with hangovers
Beer cans covering my coffee table and kitchen counters
Early morning Budweiser to relieve the hangovers
Wasting all my free time with hangovers and drunk
Being arrested
All the spending on alcohol
Waking up to a nasty house with a hangover
Stagering while I walk my dog
Shame of waking up with another hangover wondering why I keep doing this
Oh did I mention hangovers?
Pissing all over my bathroom because I couldn't hit the toilet
Not eating for days while I binged on beer
Not remembering movies, concerts....ect
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Heywood,Gtr.Manchester
Posts: 242
Jonathon Livingston Seagull.
Hi, my names Michael, I'm the guy who initially posted this thread, of course there wasn't a thought in my head that it would not only attract so much attention but attract so many replies, identifying so many emotions that affected in our ,'drinking days' , I was just trying to 'fess up, sorry that phrase is new to me, I'm an old boy, turned 64 last week , but a big thanks to all those who have , and may still contribute and those who've taken the time to view , what to me were it's humble origins. Now, if I could just write some sort of sequel to,'Jonathon Livingston Seagull', a character I have been identified with, an,'anarchic christian' yes, that's me.
Anyway, I'm rambling, you do that at my age,'old age is like being found guilty of a crime you didn't commit' it's better undertaken sober, the view is so much better, Michael.
Anyway, I'm rambling, you do that at my age,'old age is like being found guilty of a crime you didn't commit' it's better undertaken sober, the view is so much better, Michael.
I don't miss the lying, the hiding, the violence, the police knocking on my door, the shakes, waking up in strange places (with strangers), the hallucinations, and all the losses. I don't miss the pain, the pain, the pain...
I don't miss waking up next to my wife in the middle of the night wondering what the heck I did the previous night and knowing it was something bad. Not being able to fall back asleep because I am so worried about what I did - still not remembering...
-Wake up at 2:00 AM still nothing.
-Toss and turn and wake up at 4:00 AM - a short memory of fighting and me drunk.
-Finally wake up at 6:00 AM walking on egg shells in the morninig waiting for her to tell me what an idiot I was and to explain what I can't remember.
-Feeling like crap all day and wondering why she puts up with me.
I don't miss that person. I won't be that person. I am not that person - I am Britt. Thank God!
-Wake up at 2:00 AM still nothing.
-Toss and turn and wake up at 4:00 AM - a short memory of fighting and me drunk.
-Finally wake up at 6:00 AM walking on egg shells in the morninig waiting for her to tell me what an idiot I was and to explain what I can't remember.
-Feeling like crap all day and wondering why she puts up with me.
I don't miss that person. I won't be that person. I am not that person - I am Britt. Thank God!
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