writing this is like an open wound for me... but... i had posted this on another discussion board, though i really feel like it fits here much better...
i dont miss leaving my children unattended while i am partying next door and being robbed while they slept in thier bed
i dont miss feeling that guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach when i have to look into my husbands eyes and lie to him and tell him i have done nothing wrong...again, knowing he knows i am lying
i dont miss having to hide my alcohol in the bushes and wait for my husband to leave to go to work to go anxiously get it and get wasted
i dont miss getting so wasted that i call "that guy" many guys, at different times, at midnight to come over just to %&$
i dont miss taking the risk of something happening while i of run to to the corner to get more beer while my kids slept
I dont miss the risk of injuring myself or anyone else while driving under the influence
i dont miss waking up with all the lights on T.V. blaring and a handprint bruise on my wrist after a night of being at home, when i thought i was by myself...mother of all blackouts
i AM grateful though for having a loving husband that knows all of these things about me and is still here for me and loves me for only God knows why because i am not at that place yet to forgive myself for all of these terrible things that i have done.
crys
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