What I don't miss. . . . . . .
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: albuquerque
Posts: 6
I dont miss living in a fog of smoke
I dont miss wondering where and whom ill get more weed from
I dont miss the anxiety of wondering if i would go to jail tonight or not
I dont miss the panic that ensued everytime someone knocked on my door
I dont miss spending all that money on air freshner
I dont miss feeling like sh*t about myself because my bad habit
I dont miss wondering if i smell like weed when i get to work or hug a family member
I dont miss the anxiety that would arise when i drove into the parking lot at work and worried if my eyes were red
I dont miss the people i involved myself with
I dont miss the paraphernalia
I dont miss running out and anxiously waiting to get more
I dont miss trying to avaid eye contact with police
Wow, thanks, i just realized there is a lot i dont miss and they sure trump all things i do miss about it. I needed that.
I dont miss wondering where and whom ill get more weed from
I dont miss the anxiety of wondering if i would go to jail tonight or not
I dont miss the panic that ensued everytime someone knocked on my door
I dont miss spending all that money on air freshner
I dont miss feeling like sh*t about myself because my bad habit
I dont miss wondering if i smell like weed when i get to work or hug a family member
I dont miss the anxiety that would arise when i drove into the parking lot at work and worried if my eyes were red
I dont miss the people i involved myself with
I dont miss the paraphernalia
I dont miss running out and anxiously waiting to get more
I dont miss trying to avaid eye contact with police
Wow, thanks, i just realized there is a lot i dont miss and they sure trump all things i do miss about it. I needed that.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Deep South
Posts: 4
Michael, you said everything I feel, exactly! It's so nice not having to chase a pill, worry about if my husband is going to find my stash, wonder if that potential employer that called is going to want a drug test. Most importantly, I am now clear headed and can enjoy my children's activities with enthusiasm like I should have been showing for the past 5 years instead of the mom who showed up numb and uncaring!
I don't miss feeding the dogs really late cause I was 'sleeping it off' in the early evening. I don't miss missing my dog's insulin shot cause I was too drunk or too sick to give it to him.
I don't miss feeling tired all the time.
I don't miss passing out at 2pm because I'd been drinking since 5am when I woke up.
I don't miss making sure I had enough beer to get through the night.
I don't miss planning to do things early so I could then drink the rest of the day.
And, my personal favorite -
I don't miss peeing the bed because I was too drunk to wake up and go to the bathroom.
I don't miss passing out at 2pm because I'd been drinking since 5am when I woke up.
I don't miss making sure I had enough beer to get through the night.
I don't miss planning to do things early so I could then drink the rest of the day.
And, my personal favorite -
I don't miss peeing the bed because I was too drunk to wake up and go to the bathroom.
I will not miss...
Going on four day benders, drinking until the point of vomiting or passing out, waking up and repeating the process at least 6 or 7 times during those four days.
Calling my mom while drunk, knowing that I am slurring. Waking up horrified for what I might have said.
Feeling like I constantly let people down, including myself.
Making a fool of myself on facebook when drunk.
Drunk phone calls, facebook messages, pictures.
Insane thought processes.
The look of sadness and dissapointment in my husband's eyes when he realizes I am drinking again despite my efforts to hide it.
Feeling like I was meant for so much more....
Going on four day benders, drinking until the point of vomiting or passing out, waking up and repeating the process at least 6 or 7 times during those four days.
Calling my mom while drunk, knowing that I am slurring. Waking up horrified for what I might have said.
Feeling like I constantly let people down, including myself.
Making a fool of myself on facebook when drunk.
Drunk phone calls, facebook messages, pictures.
Insane thought processes.
The look of sadness and dissapointment in my husband's eyes when he realizes I am drinking again despite my efforts to hide it.
Feeling like I was meant for so much more....
-Panic when I didn't have a drink, to where I thought I was going to pass out.
-Having my sleep schedule get backwards from being drunk.
-Lying to family and friends about my problem and hiding bottles everywhere
-Feeling helpless
-Letting myself down
-Having my sleep schedule get backwards from being drunk.
-Lying to family and friends about my problem and hiding bottles everywhere
-Feeling helpless
-Letting myself down
What a great post! I loved all the "I don`t miss" s.
I don`t miss:
Standing in the shower in the morning and groaning to myself because I feel horribly ashamed but can`t quite remember what I have done but can remember brief flashes of things, all of which make me cringe.
Counting all the bruises in the morning.
The shocking hangover everyday.
The feeling somehow at work that I was like a kid wearing my mom`s high heels and I didn`t deserve to be where I was because I was wasted every single night, even though I was high functioning in the day (or so I THOUGHT)
The inability to get anything done.
The lack of time I always seemed to have (I have SO much more time now!)
The inability to make any arrangements in the evening or answer my phone in the evenings because I was too drunk or stoned at least an hour after getting home.
The Acid indigestion, upset stomach and vomiting.
All the rubbish I used to eat and not remember eating it.
Not brushing my teeth before "going to bed" (passing out more like it!)
Waking up at 4AM feeling like death and unable to go back to sleep. Wanting to go get another drink but knowing I have to go to work in a few hours.
The horrible bad moods and screaming at everyone in my house in the mornings.
All the fears and resentments that are leaving me as I work my programme.
Those are most of the things I DON`T miss....phew, by the grace of God go I. I am so grateful to be sober.
I don`t miss:
Standing in the shower in the morning and groaning to myself because I feel horribly ashamed but can`t quite remember what I have done but can remember brief flashes of things, all of which make me cringe.
Counting all the bruises in the morning.
The shocking hangover everyday.
The feeling somehow at work that I was like a kid wearing my mom`s high heels and I didn`t deserve to be where I was because I was wasted every single night, even though I was high functioning in the day (or so I THOUGHT)
The inability to get anything done.
The lack of time I always seemed to have (I have SO much more time now!)
The inability to make any arrangements in the evening or answer my phone in the evenings because I was too drunk or stoned at least an hour after getting home.
The Acid indigestion, upset stomach and vomiting.
All the rubbish I used to eat and not remember eating it.
Not brushing my teeth before "going to bed" (passing out more like it!)
Waking up at 4AM feeling like death and unable to go back to sleep. Wanting to go get another drink but knowing I have to go to work in a few hours.
The horrible bad moods and screaming at everyone in my house in the mornings.
All the fears and resentments that are leaving me as I work my programme.
Those are most of the things I DON`T miss....phew, by the grace of God go I. I am so grateful to be sober.
Tomorrow will be my 5th anniversary as a recovering alcoholic, and I'm the guy who back in the day, started this thread. Judging by the response I must've struck a chrord with quite a few people!
What I don't miss, is the things I don't miss, they don't exist any more! What does exist is the fact that I'm an alcoholic and always will be, no problem I have enough memories of my drinking days, not to become complacent and to recognise that without the god of my understanding in my life. I'm powerless over people, places and institutions...and long may that be...love to you all....and may the god of your understanding go with you....
What I don't miss, is the things I don't miss, they don't exist any more! What does exist is the fact that I'm an alcoholic and always will be, no problem I have enough memories of my drinking days, not to become complacent and to recognise that without the god of my understanding in my life. I'm powerless over people, places and institutions...and long may that be...love to you all....and may the god of your understanding go with you....
Redmayne, Congratulations on 5 years! That's very inspiring to me as a newcomer. (40 days sober)
I found this thread a little while ago and refer to it a lot. I even made my own list of what I won't miss and I go back to it to remind myself of where I never want to go back to. Thank you!
I found this thread a little while ago and refer to it a lot. I even made my own list of what I won't miss and I go back to it to remind myself of where I never want to go back to. Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 315
What I don't miss:
My entire day revolving around alcohol
Not being able to find my car in the morning Horrible Hangovers
Vomiting everyday in the toilet or the shower. Or at work. Or in the parking lot at work.
Night sweats, pounding heartbeat, and shaking hands
Panic attacks when withdrawing
Drinking to get thru the hangover
Not remembering who I was with or where I was the night before or how I made it home
Falling down. Really messed a knee up one time. Going to different liqueur stores to spread it around and hopefully they wouldn't catch on to my problem
Feeling the need to drink at work and putting my job in jeopardy
Not remembering entire conversations with hubby, kids, friends, or even my boss.
Not remembering meeting people
Hiding bottles in my closet, car, kitchen, bathroom, purse, etc
Having to throw the empties out when no one was home, hoping the neighbors didn't see or hear
Being nicknamed Boozer
Not surfing because of a hangover. I don't recommend surfing with one...
Not working out or working out with a buzz or hangover
Having to drink to go on my walk in the morning with friends
Having to drink to go out
Having to drink to get out of bed
Having to drink to drink
Telling the boys they couldn't have a drink of my "soda" IN THE CAR
That disappointed look on hubby's face when he realized I'd been drinking when I said I wasn't. Lying about where I'd been all day or how much I'd had to drink
All the fights with hubby because of my drinking Neglecting my boys
Neglecting my husband
Neglecting my dog
Neglecting myself
Hanging out only with drunks
Looking down on people who didn't drink
Getting angry if hubby wanted to go eat somewhere that didn't serve alcohol
Knowing the alcohol content in every beer and bottle of vodka
Having to eat a mint every time I wanted to talk to someone
Not accomplishing daily tasks because it took time out of drinking
Avoiding life instead of living it
Wasting my days being wasted
(This list keeps me moving forward)
My entire day revolving around alcohol
Not being able to find my car in the morning Horrible Hangovers
Vomiting everyday in the toilet or the shower. Or at work. Or in the parking lot at work.
Night sweats, pounding heartbeat, and shaking hands
Panic attacks when withdrawing
Drinking to get thru the hangover
Not remembering who I was with or where I was the night before or how I made it home
Falling down. Really messed a knee up one time. Going to different liqueur stores to spread it around and hopefully they wouldn't catch on to my problem
Feeling the need to drink at work and putting my job in jeopardy
Not remembering entire conversations with hubby, kids, friends, or even my boss.
Not remembering meeting people
Hiding bottles in my closet, car, kitchen, bathroom, purse, etc
Having to throw the empties out when no one was home, hoping the neighbors didn't see or hear
Being nicknamed Boozer
Not surfing because of a hangover. I don't recommend surfing with one...
Not working out or working out with a buzz or hangover
Having to drink to go on my walk in the morning with friends
Having to drink to go out
Having to drink to get out of bed
Having to drink to drink
Telling the boys they couldn't have a drink of my "soda" IN THE CAR
That disappointed look on hubby's face when he realized I'd been drinking when I said I wasn't. Lying about where I'd been all day or how much I'd had to drink
All the fights with hubby because of my drinking Neglecting my boys
Neglecting my husband
Neglecting my dog
Neglecting myself
Hanging out only with drunks
Looking down on people who didn't drink
Getting angry if hubby wanted to go eat somewhere that didn't serve alcohol
Knowing the alcohol content in every beer and bottle of vodka
Having to eat a mint every time I wanted to talk to someone
Not accomplishing daily tasks because it took time out of drinking
Avoiding life instead of living it
Wasting my days being wasted
(This list keeps me moving forward)
Siesta your list has kept me going, especially "having to drink to drink" - that has hit home with me.
Those desperate evenings when I'd go through a day with the hangover from hell, but still craving a bottle of wine. Then find myself sitting there alone drinking, then gagging, trying to keep it down, just so i'd feel better! Lunacy!?
Those desperate evenings when I'd go through a day with the hangover from hell, but still craving a bottle of wine. Then find myself sitting there alone drinking, then gagging, trying to keep it down, just so i'd feel better! Lunacy!?
Hey, I'm glad it helps Panache. The list helps me all the time. I don't want to forget how pathetic my life had become and I never want to go back. I agree with you that some of the behaviors we engaged in were just lunacy. Hope you are doing well in your journey!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: london
Posts: 8
This is the greatest thread. I read the whole thing before I went out tonight - I play pool for a team and my region. So there is always a bar around and it has been a bit of a downfall. But tonight i used some control and didnt get drunk.
Thanks guys and i will soon be able to post all the horrible things I dont miss either!!
xxx
Thanks guys and i will soon be able to post all the horrible things I dont miss either!!
xxx
Spending all my tips at the bar after my shift
Finding ATM withdrawal receipts in every pocket
Wondering where I spent it all
Missing a shift because I forgot I had traded with someone
Looking for my dogs, because I couldnt figure out how to close the gate the night before.
Being late for work because I was looking for dogs, and didnt wake up early enough to realize they were missing.
Finding ATM withdrawal receipts in every pocket
Wondering where I spent it all
Missing a shift because I forgot I had traded with someone
Looking for my dogs, because I couldnt figure out how to close the gate the night before.
Being late for work because I was looking for dogs, and didnt wake up early enough to realize they were missing.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Brea CA
Posts: 3
What I don't miss - too many things to list.
Here's an abbreviated summary:
Feeling so sick the next morning that I feel that gulping alcohol FIRST thing is the only way I can get out of bed. (Yet it always prolongs the hangover/current binge I'm in the middle of)
Finding that I don't know where I am nor how I got there
Missing things: Money, keys, "whole sections of time"
Finding things: people next to me I don't know, finding out something I'd rather forget about last night, finding REGRET once my mind comes clear and I remember some idiotic move or some really rude comment or argument I made.
Feeling so sick the next morning that I feel that gulping alcohol FIRST thing is the only way I can get out of bed. (Yet it always prolongs the hangover/current binge I'm in the middle of)
Finding that I don't know where I am nor how I got there
Missing things: Money, keys, "whole sections of time"
Finding things: people next to me I don't know, finding out something I'd rather forget about last night, finding REGRET once my mind comes clear and I remember some idiotic move or some really rude comment or argument I made.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Brea CA
Posts: 3
In response to Panache
""having to drink to drink" - that has hit home with me.
Those desperate evenings when I'd go through a day with the hangover from hell, but still craving a bottle of wine. Then find myself sitting there alone drinking, then gagging, trying to keep it down, just so i'd feel better! Lunacy!? "
_________________
Been there...it's just AWFUL! But then I'd tell myself next time would be different...that I'd just drink a little and not overshoot the mark. Then my inner voice goes something like "Sure kid...keep telling yourself that. In the meantime, get me something more to drink,"
""having to drink to drink" - that has hit home with me.
Those desperate evenings when I'd go through a day with the hangover from hell, but still craving a bottle of wine. Then find myself sitting there alone drinking, then gagging, trying to keep it down, just so i'd feel better! Lunacy!? "
_________________
Been there...it's just AWFUL! But then I'd tell myself next time would be different...that I'd just drink a little and not overshoot the mark. Then my inner voice goes something like "Sure kid...keep telling yourself that. In the meantime, get me something more to drink,"
Last edited by SoCalGuy; 04-17-2013 at 01:14 PM. Reason: In response to Panache
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 2 (0 members and 2 guests)