Originally Posted by treeguy24
So I finally got into a suboxone program because I just couldn't keep up with my oxycodone habit and having to keep coming off everytime I ran out of drugs. My problem is I feel I've messed this up as well.
They started me out at 8mg and I felt pretty good the first time I took it. I definitely noticed it was working. I guess you could say I was somewhat high from it.
Well having felt good and being an addict I immediately wanted more so the next day decided to up my dose, and then I began taking 12-16 mg and just told them I didn't feel quite right that's why I was upping the dose. They said it would be fine to up the dose if I didn't feel right but in actuality I was just chasing a better feeling.
Now I feel terrible because when I started the program I don't think my heart was really in it to get clean. It was a way to guarantee I had a fix everyday. And I feel even worse that instead of sticking to the 8 mg which would probably have sufficed I had to increase it. Now I don't always feel satisfied with the 8 mg if I try to stick with just that. The doctor thinks 12 mg is where I should be, but I've read conflicting stuff on the internet that you don't need high doses of suboxone.
After I had upped my dose to 16 mg I then went down to 8 mg for two days and then took 12 mg and felt "high" again.
I'm wondering if this medication is gonna only do more harm to me then good because I'm still chasing that opiate high.
You are using Suboxone for the wrong reason, as you admit. My son used suboxone to help with heroin withdrawal. However, his reason for using suboxone was to allow him to think more clearly in that he valued
kicking his habit. He is now 6 years clean and sober. He got counseling at the same time. Talk to your prescribing doctor and admit to him you are chasing the high. My son would probably tell you that Suboxone without counseling is spinning your wheels.