The Hydro Thread
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SugarAngel thank you so so much for all of the inspiration in your posts!!! This thread has helped me more than I can say. Congrats on the 30 days (I think this Saturday?) - not an easy feat AT ALL. Friday I'll have 30 days (off a ten year dependence/addiction to prescribed pain meds). Not super excited yet about living the new way of life, but am focusing on the person I want to be without a spiritual soul sickness. Still trying to quit the hootch, but trying to go cold turkey on both proved a little too hard for this chick. Super super proud of you and thankful for your sharing. Looking forward to hearing the pride and excitement in your 'voice' after you get your tag : )
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Hey peeps....
Thanks for all the encouragement, you guys!! It means a lot right now.
Dawg!! How the heck are you?? So glad to 'see' you!! 21 days is awesome, and I am so, so proud of you!! But, I had every faith in you that you would come back with good news. You are amazing, my friend. Keep going no matter what. It surprisingly does get better. And keep posting!! I like 'hearing' how you are doing.
Thanks, Dee and Final. Your posts helped me get through a really rough patch the last few days and not use. I am glad you are here.
26 days today no pain pills. 17 days no Xanax. I was notified Sunday morning that my friend died of a pill overdose. I feel really sad and depressed about it. Not sure how to handle it really.
Well, not much to say. Just feeling very blue and stuck in my own head.
Hope everyone is peachy.
Love you guys.
Thanks for all the encouragement, you guys!! It means a lot right now.
Dawg!! How the heck are you?? So glad to 'see' you!! 21 days is awesome, and I am so, so proud of you!! But, I had every faith in you that you would come back with good news. You are amazing, my friend. Keep going no matter what. It surprisingly does get better. And keep posting!! I like 'hearing' how you are doing.
Thanks, Dee and Final. Your posts helped me get through a really rough patch the last few days and not use. I am glad you are here.
26 days today no pain pills. 17 days no Xanax. I was notified Sunday morning that my friend died of a pill overdose. I feel really sad and depressed about it. Not sure how to handle it really.
Well, not much to say. Just feeling very blue and stuck in my own head.
Hope everyone is peachy.
Love you guys.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,099
Originally Posted by Refunded 
SugarAngel thank you so so much for all of the inspiration in your posts!!! This thread has helped me more than I can say. Congrats on the 30 days (I think this Saturday?) - not an easy feat AT ALL. Friday I'll have 30 days (off a ten year dependence/addiction to prescribed pain meds). Not super excited yet about living the new way of life, but am focusing on the person I want to be without a spiritual soul sickness. Still trying to quit the hootch, but trying to go cold turkey on both proved a little too hard for this chick. Super super proud of you and thankful for your sharing. Looking forward to hearing the pride and excitement in your 'voice' after you get your tag : )
I could so relate to your post. What you said about learning how to live a new way of life?? Oh yeah, I so get that. I keep thinking that it feels like I am learning how to live all over again. It is a weird feeling, and not one I am excited much about, either. You said the one thing that's been most on my mind lately, and I thank you for that. It always helps me so much knowing that someone else feels like I do. I don't know why, but it does.
Congrats on 30 days Friday!! It feels pretty amazing, right?? You are doing awesome, and I am so glad this thread helped you in some way!! You made my day!!
Post here anytime you like.
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Hola. checking in. Sugar keep up the fight. One thing that I have to tell myself over and over and over is this too shall pass. As an addict my moods and how I am feeling changes dramatically. I often feel like a baby plant that has just sprouted and I need so much love and care to feel okay.
Take yesterday for example. Kid had soccer, had the best time. Sat and talked with a mom for the hour during practice. We had so much in common and enjoyed the time. Then night of sleep was crap. Kid came into my room, slept with me, cat wouldn't leave me be etc etc.
Today? Feel achy, tired, crabby, something happened at work this am that is a direct result of me moving to fast and making decisions etc that didn't need to happen.
But you know what? This will all pass. Now today I am sober, no med, no opiates, no booze, nothing but coffee.
IF I was to go home today and score some drugs it would set me all back..
but it doesn't sound like a bad idea at times when things are crap.
One thing I hate is detox, moving away from meetings and the light as I like to call.
Love you all
Take yesterday for example. Kid had soccer, had the best time. Sat and talked with a mom for the hour during practice. We had so much in common and enjoyed the time. Then night of sleep was crap. Kid came into my room, slept with me, cat wouldn't leave me be etc etc.
Today? Feel achy, tired, crabby, something happened at work this am that is a direct result of me moving to fast and making decisions etc that didn't need to happen.
But you know what? This will all pass. Now today I am sober, no med, no opiates, no booze, nothing but coffee.
IF I was to go home today and score some drugs it would set me all back..
but it doesn't sound like a bad idea at times when things are crap.
One thing I hate is detox, moving away from meetings and the light as I like to call.
Love you all
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Thank you, Dee. it was a real surprise, and I am so sad about it. She was a sweet girl, and this shouldn't have happened to her. Her name was Lacey, and I want to post this so that she will always be remembered. Even if it's just in this small way. Nothing ever goes away, really, on the internet, right?? So, this is my tiny way of making sure she isn't forgotten. I hate it that people in my f to f life are treating her like a statistic. She was a person. She had hopes and dreams. A family, a boyfriend, a dog she really loved. She deserved so much better than to go the way she did. I loved my friend, and I will miss her.
Thanks again, Dee, for the acknowledgement of her passing.
Thanks again, Dee, for the acknowledgement of her passing.
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Thank you, OP. You are so sweet.....
So, guess what guys?? 30 DAYS TODAY!!! Yay!! I am so happy!! I met my first goal/milestone, and that has me all psyched out and ready to go another 30. I can't even believe I am here. The last weeks have been horrible. When I think back on them, they are just one long blur of pain and unhappiness. But, now I catch myself singing in the shower and smiling for no reason. I feel calmer and more capable of handling things in my life than I have been in a very, very long time. I mean, I am still having wd issues, but nothing like it was. I am starting to feel almost human again. And, I can't wait t get my tag this week!! I am so excited!!
Only thing is I wish I could share this with Lacey. She would have been so happy. And, I wish I could have had the chance to try and help her. Maybe my getting to 30 days would have encouraged her to stop. But, I know she's somewhere, throwing confetti and having a 5 second dance party!! My next 30 days will be for her as much as they are for me.
You know, no one has called to congratulate me or anything. That would have really hurt my feelings before. But now. it's okay. Because I didn't do this for them or their approval. I did it for me this time.
I love all you guys, and I am so happy you are all in my life. And I am moved by your continuing kindness and help.
Well, now let's see what the next 30 days brings!!
Hope everyone is doing well.
Have a marvelous Sunday, peeps!!
So, guess what guys?? 30 DAYS TODAY!!! Yay!! I am so happy!! I met my first goal/milestone, and that has me all psyched out and ready to go another 30. I can't even believe I am here. The last weeks have been horrible. When I think back on them, they are just one long blur of pain and unhappiness. But, now I catch myself singing in the shower and smiling for no reason. I feel calmer and more capable of handling things in my life than I have been in a very, very long time. I mean, I am still having wd issues, but nothing like it was. I am starting to feel almost human again. And, I can't wait t get my tag this week!! I am so excited!!
Only thing is I wish I could share this with Lacey. She would have been so happy. And, I wish I could have had the chance to try and help her. Maybe my getting to 30 days would have encouraged her to stop. But, I know she's somewhere, throwing confetti and having a 5 second dance party!! My next 30 days will be for her as much as they are for me.
You know, no one has called to congratulate me or anything. That would have really hurt my feelings before. But now. it's okay. Because I didn't do this for them or their approval. I did it for me this time.
I love all you guys, and I am so happy you are all in my life. And I am moved by your continuing kindness and help.
Well, now let's see what the next 30 days brings!!
Hope everyone is doing well.
Have a marvelous Sunday, peeps!!
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Oh yeah, forgot to mention I went to the store this afternoon and got some strawberry soda, orange soda, root beer, and two big things of vanilla ice cream. I decided to celebrate my first 30 days with an ice cream soda party and a new movie!! I really wanted to do something fun to celebrate today, and for me personally, there's nothing better for that than ice cream!! Well, that and maybe cake!!
Going to go stuff my face now!!
Love you guys.
Going to go stuff my face now!!
Love you guys.
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CONGRATS ON 30 DAYS SUGAR ANGEL!!!! 
What a huge accomplishment and yes, ice cream is a must on such occasions! In fact we had a whole Ben&Jerry thread on the Newcomers forum a few years ago. You are amazing!!
What a huge accomplishment and yes, ice cream is a must on such occasions! In fact we had a whole Ben&Jerry thread on the Newcomers forum a few years ago. You are amazing!!
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That is so so awesome that you did that for yourself!!! It is SO important to give yourself the pat on the back, the atta girl and feel how pride feels. So impressed and proud of you. I swear, kicking the pain meds is WAY harder than when I quit alcohol before. A whole different beast. A whole different love affair. You are doing amazing - one day at a time we'll be celebrating your 60 days : )))))
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Hi guys....
Thanks for all the encouragement!! I feel like I have the best cheering squad ever!!
Day 34 today!! I went to a new meeting Tuesday night, a women's only meeting, and that was pretty cool. Everyone was very nice. There is a different vibe to an all female meeting, and I liked it a lot. I just wish it was earlier in the day. That would make it so much easier for me to go. But, I get to the meetings I can, and am trying new ones all the time, thanks to Kay. She seems to know where all the best ones are.
I got my 30 day tag, and that was so amazing!! It felt really good to get that. It felt better than anything has in a really long time. I had it in my hand last night, and I just couldn't even believe it was mine!! So cool.
I also have a sponsor. Kay was trying to help me find one, but then decided she wanted to be my sponsor. I am more than okay with that. I love kay, and she is exactly the type of person I should have as a sponsor. Mainly cuz she doesn't take any of my ********, or any of my whining. I need someone like that for sure!!
So, she has me doing a gratitude list daily. I am starting on step one. I got the gold and green book, and the workbook that goes with it. I also got a book called "A Woman's Way Through The 12 Steps." I am really excited to start the steps, but scared, too. Like what kind of things am I going to find out about myself?? Will I still like myself after I get to know me better?? That kind of thing. I also have to write a paper for her about what pills did for me, and one about what pills took away from me. That should be a painful, eye opening exercise. But, I am ready. When I said I was surrendering to the process, I meant it. Whatever I have to do to stay sober, I will do.
My mom called me this morning to invite me out for lunch and shopping with her and my bro. that felt really good cuz it was my bro's idea. He was waiting till I got to 30 days, and now he is ready to let me back in his life. He may be a real butthead, but I love him so much, and am so happy he has decided to give me a chance. And, honestly, that's all I am asking for. from everybody I know. Just a chance.
Well, guess that's it for now. Have to get ready to go out with my mom and bro. First time in almost 5 years. I am so excited!! Wish me luck!!
Hope everyone is groovy today!!
Love you, peeps.
Thanks for all the encouragement!! I feel like I have the best cheering squad ever!!
Day 34 today!! I went to a new meeting Tuesday night, a women's only meeting, and that was pretty cool. Everyone was very nice. There is a different vibe to an all female meeting, and I liked it a lot. I just wish it was earlier in the day. That would make it so much easier for me to go. But, I get to the meetings I can, and am trying new ones all the time, thanks to Kay. She seems to know where all the best ones are.
I got my 30 day tag, and that was so amazing!! It felt really good to get that. It felt better than anything has in a really long time. I had it in my hand last night, and I just couldn't even believe it was mine!! So cool.
I also have a sponsor. Kay was trying to help me find one, but then decided she wanted to be my sponsor. I am more than okay with that. I love kay, and she is exactly the type of person I should have as a sponsor. Mainly cuz she doesn't take any of my ********, or any of my whining. I need someone like that for sure!!
So, she has me doing a gratitude list daily. I am starting on step one. I got the gold and green book, and the workbook that goes with it. I also got a book called "A Woman's Way Through The 12 Steps." I am really excited to start the steps, but scared, too. Like what kind of things am I going to find out about myself?? Will I still like myself after I get to know me better?? That kind of thing. I also have to write a paper for her about what pills did for me, and one about what pills took away from me. That should be a painful, eye opening exercise. But, I am ready. When I said I was surrendering to the process, I meant it. Whatever I have to do to stay sober, I will do.
My mom called me this morning to invite me out for lunch and shopping with her and my bro. that felt really good cuz it was my bro's idea. He was waiting till I got to 30 days, and now he is ready to let me back in his life. He may be a real butthead, but I love him so much, and am so happy he has decided to give me a chance. And, honestly, that's all I am asking for. from everybody I know. Just a chance.
Well, guess that's it for now. Have to get ready to go out with my mom and bro. First time in almost 5 years. I am so excited!! Wish me luck!!
Hope everyone is groovy today!!
Love you, peeps.
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Thank you, Dee and Tea. You guys are awesome. I got your PM, Tea, and I will PM you back.
So, things are okay. Kay is tough. She has me doing so much stuff that I don't have time to sit around and romanticize using. Or thinking about using. But, no matter what I do lately, I can't seem to get out of this funk I'm in. Life just feels monotonous and flat right now. I'm not bored, I know that. Kay makes sure of that!! I'm just.....I don't know. I just don't ever feel quite right lately. Not bad, just OFF. You guys ever feel that way when you quit?? Like if you had to stay sober for one more day, you'd scream?? Cuz that's kinda how I feel right now.
End of day 37. Thank God. I had mad cravings all day today. They are annoying the hell out of me!! Going to crawl in bed with Ben and Jerry.....and that sounded way wrong, but you get what I mean. I can't seem to live without ice cream anymore. My new DOC. lol And Bates Motel. My new obsession. Great show.
Made it through another day. Awesome!!
Love you guys.
So, things are okay. Kay is tough. She has me doing so much stuff that I don't have time to sit around and romanticize using. Or thinking about using. But, no matter what I do lately, I can't seem to get out of this funk I'm in. Life just feels monotonous and flat right now. I'm not bored, I know that. Kay makes sure of that!! I'm just.....I don't know. I just don't ever feel quite right lately. Not bad, just OFF. You guys ever feel that way when you quit?? Like if you had to stay sober for one more day, you'd scream?? Cuz that's kinda how I feel right now.
End of day 37. Thank God. I had mad cravings all day today. They are annoying the hell out of me!! Going to crawl in bed with Ben and Jerry.....and that sounded way wrong, but you get what I mean. I can't seem to live without ice cream anymore. My new DOC. lol And Bates Motel. My new obsession. Great show.
Made it through another day. Awesome!!
Love you guys.
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