Coming off... drum roll... 75 vicodins a day
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Originally Posted by finaltime 
WOW WOW WOW so excited!!! All this wonderful sharing!~~~ I haven't even read it yet but wanted to say that so if anyone was wanting to keep on going. LETS DO IT~ love you all~~~
Thanks for being here final. It does make a big difference knowing there is SOMEBODY out there who is a whacked addict like me trying to do the right thing.
Having sugar just one day behind me through the W/D makes sharing the pain so important.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
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Hey Dawg...
I'm still here. Feel pretty awful still. Just starting day 4. Woke up sweaty and yucky, but I slept. For like 4 pretty good hours. That's huge for me because I did it without a pill of any kind. Haven't done that since 2009. So there's something.
As for the Xanax, probably anywhere from 3 to 5 mg depending on if I had vics or not. Pretty messed up, I know.
How are you? You sound like things are a little better today for you. I am happy to hear that!
How do you get on first thing in the a.m? That's my worst time. I miss that first morning high so bad. Can't seem to figure out how to start my day. Just wondering how you felt?
Hope today is good for you. Day 5 usually is not too bad.
I'm still here. Feel pretty awful still. Just starting day 4. Woke up sweaty and yucky, but I slept. For like 4 pretty good hours. That's huge for me because I did it without a pill of any kind. Haven't done that since 2009. So there's something.
As for the Xanax, probably anywhere from 3 to 5 mg depending on if I had vics or not. Pretty messed up, I know.
How are you? You sound like things are a little better today for you. I am happy to hear that!
How do you get on first thing in the a.m? That's my worst time. I miss that first morning high so bad. Can't seem to figure out how to start my day. Just wondering how you felt?
Hope today is good for you. Day 5 usually is not too bad.
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Forget about that morning high sugar. It only takes us down the rabbit hole.
You have to count your days as you well know! Both of us have done this a few times.
The fact I am busting out Day 5 is very meaningful. My biggest fear was running out of Vicodin and when I had to start tapering to conserve my supply it got me scared.
However we simply put up with being sick through W/D's knowing tomorrow WILL be better.
You just have to be sick. Pay the piper sugar and you'll power through.
I do feel better than yesterday and to hell with the high that I chased until I was slamming 75 vicodins a day.
Where would this have ended had we not quit? Jail? Hospital? Graveyard?
Get up and walk around and get that time to pass. We have to pass time. It goes faster if we walk or read or watch videos on the net.
I'm excited for you because you're getting over the hump. The worst.
I'm here all day. Keep writing.
You have to count your days as you well know! Both of us have done this a few times.
The fact I am busting out Day 5 is very meaningful. My biggest fear was running out of Vicodin and when I had to start tapering to conserve my supply it got me scared.
However we simply put up with being sick through W/D's knowing tomorrow WILL be better.
You just have to be sick. Pay the piper sugar and you'll power through.
I do feel better than yesterday and to hell with the high that I chased until I was slamming 75 vicodins a day.
Where would this have ended had we not quit? Jail? Hospital? Graveyard?
Get up and walk around and get that time to pass. We have to pass time. It goes faster if we walk or read or watch videos on the net.
I'm excited for you because you're getting over the hump. The worst.
I'm here all day. Keep writing.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Chicago
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Keep it up Angel and Dawg (that sounds odd). Yes unfortunately a lot of my time withdrawing from opiates was spent hanging on for dear life. It starts with small victories and the knowledge that it will get better. Start stringing hours together then days and before you know it you will be like wow I feel semi-human again.
Even though it has been over 4 1/2 years I still remember it well. Watery eyes, sneezing, the smells, colors seeming different, sweating, depression, anxiety. I have probably been through Heroin withdrawals at least 20 times and add in another 10 for other opiates. At its worst I couldn't even summon the strength to leave the bed to barf. I just started to get hotel rooms so I could be left alone. Unfortunately that too became part of the routine. Start - stop - clean up for a bit then go off the rails again and repeat the cycle.
Not sharing that to scare you and sounds like you both have been on the roller coaster ride. You have come so far already. The key for me was finding a way to stay stopped. Living in today - living in the moment. Finding and doing things to better myself. Help me to get out of my head.
Anyway great job so far. Keep posting. You can only take on today right now. Be gentle on yourself. There is still hope. Take care.
Even though it has been over 4 1/2 years I still remember it well. Watery eyes, sneezing, the smells, colors seeming different, sweating, depression, anxiety. I have probably been through Heroin withdrawals at least 20 times and add in another 10 for other opiates. At its worst I couldn't even summon the strength to leave the bed to barf. I just started to get hotel rooms so I could be left alone. Unfortunately that too became part of the routine. Start - stop - clean up for a bit then go off the rails again and repeat the cycle.
Not sharing that to scare you and sounds like you both have been on the roller coaster ride. You have come so far already. The key for me was finding a way to stay stopped. Living in today - living in the moment. Finding and doing things to better myself. Help me to get out of my head.
Anyway great job so far. Keep posting. You can only take on today right now. Be gentle on yourself. There is still hope. Take care.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
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Marcus that is an awesome post!!
You nailed it.
I have dodged a bullet and Sugar is a day behind me.
It's funny how well you remember the W/D's... those must have been devastating!
I only did heroin once... that is a powerful pull to the Dark Side. Meth too.
Nope my wife knows nothing of this and she wasn't hurt through my stupidity. I got lucky with that.
I'm over the hump and am waiting for Sugar to tell us she's feeling better than the day before.`=
You nailed it.
I have dodged a bullet and Sugar is a day behind me.
It's funny how well you remember the W/D's... those must have been devastating!
I only did heroin once... that is a powerful pull to the Dark Side. Meth too.
Nope my wife knows nothing of this and she wasn't hurt through my stupidity. I got lucky with that.
I'm over the hump and am waiting for Sugar to tell us she's feeling better than the day before.`=
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Join Date: Feb 2016
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Hey guys...
Wow! I loved those last couple posts. I so get everything you said. I had a moment this morning ofwanting to go pill searching. But I didn't. Even if I did find a pill, so what? Then I'd have to go get more because we all know if 1 is good, then 2 is better. Ugh. No thanx. But I still want them. Not to get high. Just to feel better. Wow. Did I just really say that? Great. Now I'm lying to myself.
Ok. Ok. Enough. I walked and fed the dog. Took a long really hot shower because I can't shake the chills. And now I'm back in bed. God, I am so sick of being sick!
So, how are you doing? How is day 5 goung so far? You have helped me so much with your posts. I hope all is well?
Thanx for being here.
Wow! I loved those last couple posts. I so get everything you said. I had a moment this morning ofwanting to go pill searching. But I didn't. Even if I did find a pill, so what? Then I'd have to go get more because we all know if 1 is good, then 2 is better. Ugh. No thanx. But I still want them. Not to get high. Just to feel better. Wow. Did I just really say that? Great. Now I'm lying to myself.
Ok. Ok. Enough. I walked and fed the dog. Took a long really hot shower because I can't shake the chills. And now I'm back in bed. God, I am so sick of being sick!
So, how are you doing? How is day 5 goung so far? You have helped me so much with your posts. I hope all is well?
Thanx for being here.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
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If you find a secret stash flush it immediately Sugar.
Don't keep it. Flush it.
I deleted a list I had of Spanish ways of asking for hydro when I'm in Central and South America.
Every country has it's own name for Vicodin. "Kodone" from Guatemala was the easiest to find. Thousands of pills if wanted.
I actually debated deleting that list for several hours as so much work went into it.
How stupid is that? I know why I was keeping it... just in case.
Well there is no more just in case. There can't be.
I'm still very tired, can't sleep at night and the sweats.
But I also am working finally on hobbies and not flat on my back in bed.
I survived the storm and you will too kiddo.
Don't keep it. Flush it.
I deleted a list I had of Spanish ways of asking for hydro when I'm in Central and South America.
Every country has it's own name for Vicodin. "Kodone" from Guatemala was the easiest to find. Thousands of pills if wanted.
I actually debated deleting that list for several hours as so much work went into it.
How stupid is that? I know why I was keeping it... just in case.
Well there is no more just in case. There can't be.
I'm still very tired, can't sleep at night and the sweats.
But I also am working finally on hobbies and not flat on my back in bed.
I survived the storm and you will too kiddo.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,099
Hey...
Just checking in to see how you're doing. I am barely hanging on. I even broke down and called my dealer, then hung up and came here. I just want to cry. Can't go forward. Can't go back. I feel stuck. And miserable.
But I'm still here.
Just checking in to see how you're doing. I am barely hanging on. I even broke down and called my dealer, then hung up and came here. I just want to cry. Can't go forward. Can't go back. I feel stuck. And miserable.
But I'm still here.
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Sugar I'm here.
Don't call the devil. He's right outside aching to bring you back down.
Take another hot shower. Watch TV. Go to bed.
I'm still feeling the edge with moments of sickness but it's NOTHING like Day 4.
I am starting to look back on W/D's now.
Please. Stay strong another night. You were not too far from very serious levels of hydro.
To hell with the Devil. He's always ready isn't he?
Don't call the devil. He's right outside aching to bring you back down.
Take another hot shower. Watch TV. Go to bed.
I'm still feeling the edge with moments of sickness but it's NOTHING like Day 4.
I am starting to look back on W/D's now.
Please. Stay strong another night. You were not too far from very serious levels of hydro.
To hell with the Devil. He's always ready isn't he?
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,099
Hey...
I'm still here and sober, but I had to lock myself in the house and shut off my phone. I am giving it another night. At least. I just want today to be over. I really do. And here I thought yesterday was bad. Damn.
Thanx for being here. I'm holding on.
You ok? You sound like you are doing good.
I'm still here and sober, but I had to lock myself in the house and shut off my phone. I am giving it another night. At least. I just want today to be over. I really do. And here I thought yesterday was bad. Damn.
Thanx for being here. I'm holding on.
You ok? You sound like you are doing good.
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The Devil has always been fairly close but I've always done my best to keep him away.
He slipped in though with this addiction.
Sugar get through tonight. You have to.
It's miserable.
Pay the Piper. You're so close now!
He slipped in though with this addiction.
Sugar get through tonight. You have to.
It's miserable.
Pay the Piper. You're so close now!
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Sugar I'm worried about because of the Xanax being a part of the W/D.
But it's the same timeline as hydro it appears.
Tomorrow you should not feel as bad.
Not great but not in-bed all day bad.
Please post when you can.
You'll make it. Almost there!!!
But it's the same timeline as hydro it appears.
Tomorrow you should not feel as bad.
Not great but not in-bed all day bad.
Please post when you can.
You'll make it. Almost there!!!
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OK Sugar you made it through yet ANOTHER night!!
Day 5 you should start feeling better than yesterday.
Day 6 starts for me. A little worn out still but not laying in bed.
Please check in. I know this is hard.
Day 5 you should start feeling better than yesterday.
Day 6 starts for me. A little worn out still but not laying in bed.
Please check in. I know this is hard.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
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Hi Dawg...
How are you today? Are you doing ok? Getting better?
Well, I made it thru the night. Still here. Still sober. I am not sure how bad today is going to be yet, but we'll see. Still feel pretty bad. This the gnarliest batch of wd's I've ever been thru. I just hope it stops soon. Or eases up. Something.
Anyway, hope this post made sense. I am so tired, i don't know what's up.
Here's to days 5 and 6!
Let me know how you are, k?
How are you today? Are you doing ok? Getting better?
Well, I made it thru the night. Still here. Still sober. I am not sure how bad today is going to be yet, but we'll see. Still feel pretty bad. This the gnarliest batch of wd's I've ever been thru. I just hope it stops soon. Or eases up. Something.
Anyway, hope this post made sense. I am so tired, i don't know what's up.
Here's to days 5 and 6!
Let me know how you are, k?
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Hi Sugar I'm still not 100%.
You get those feelings of how nice it would be to use and get the warm feeling back but we can't do it!
That feeling passes quickly and life goes on the right way.
It sounds like you are getting nailed. Is today better than yesterday at all?
Hang in there.
Don't give in... please.
You get those feelings of how nice it would be to use and get the warm feeling back but we can't do it!
That feeling passes quickly and life goes on the right way.
It sounds like you are getting nailed. Is today better than yesterday at all?
Hang in there.
Don't give in... please.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,099
Hey...
I am hanging in. Things seem to be getting a lttle bit better. I don't feel like I'm going to DFO antime soon, so that's a good sign. Got a walk in with the dog, called my mom, did a few little things. And now I'm pooped.
I kno what you mean about missing those warm feelings when you're high. I can't dwell on it either. Makes me crazy.
Hang in there. I'm with you.
I am hanging in. Things seem to be getting a lttle bit better. I don't feel like I'm going to DFO antime soon, so that's a good sign. Got a walk in with the dog, called my mom, did a few little things. And now I'm pooped.
I kno what you mean about missing those warm feelings when you're high. I can't dwell on it either. Makes me crazy.
Hang in there. I'm with you.
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