The Day I Decided To Quit Painers
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
Sounds like you're doing really well Brian!
My dad was a steel worker! Was his first and last job! He's retired now. I remember not seeing him for days because he'd double out, sleep at work n double again. He worked in the boiler house. He was a hard working man! I just love him so much!!!
I'll be following your journey. May be quiet for the most part but I'm reading. I hope you,continue onto a clean life and can enjoy it.
My dad was a steel worker! Was his first and last job! He's retired now. I remember not seeing him for days because he'd double out, sleep at work n double again. He worked in the boiler house. He was a hard working man! I just love him so much!!!
I'll be following your journey. May be quiet for the most part but I'm reading. I hope you,continue onto a clean life and can enjoy it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: SE ohio
Posts: 255
Okay its been a week now without taking any prescription drugs doing okay now I have to ween myself off of imodium pills I've been taking for withdraw symptoms once I accomplish this the emotional crap will be my next challange little coaching on that part would be appreciated luv you all and thanks for your help
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Brian congrats on your 1 week! You are doing great! You are going to have some bad days sprinkled in there. Days when you feel more anxious and/or depressed. Days when you really need dig deep and push yourself thru. But you can and you will do it. You did not just get thru the hardest 7 days to give up now!
Have you cut some and how has it felt? Did you get WD symptoms?
On days when you are feeling anxious just ease off a little! Then on days that you feel stronger....you can reduce more. This is not a race against the clock! Baby steps Brian! You will get there! Just take it slow and move forward!
Have you cut some and how has it felt? Did you get WD symptoms?
On days when you are feeling anxious just ease off a little! Then on days that you feel stronger....you can reduce more. This is not a race against the clock! Baby steps Brian! You will get there! Just take it slow and move forward!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: SE ohio
Posts: 255
Cleanin and a few others on here would make excellent drug and alcohol counselors for real got more advice from you guys than the ones who you pay for nothing takes or beats experience
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Thanks Brian I'm glad to help. You know what I do when cravings hit me or I get that ****it attitude? I play the tape all the way thru to the end.
I think about where the pills took me. So I know that if I were to use them again they would lead me to the following:
1. I would be back in the cycle again. 1 pill would be 1 too many and 10000000 never enough.
2. I would be spending all my money! Even money I do not have! I would be looking for things to pawn or trade! Then I would run out and have to thru WD anyway. Because the pills are unsustainable. I do not have enough money to keep up with my need for pills.
So I would be sick again!
3. I would be taking too many risks. I would be looking for pills and hooking-up with people I know nothing about. One time I even bought pills from an undercover cop! So I could easily wind-up back in a jail cell! Jail has the WORST cardboard sandwiches! No privacy whatsoever! No coffee and No cigs!
4. My family would kick me to the curb! I would be homeless, lonely and cold! Plus I would have no way to buy pills if a wanted to.
5. I would loose all my respect....all that I worked hard to gain back these past few months!
6. I would die! I had too many near-death experiences that I took too many...had trouble breathing...my heart rate became erratic.....passed out and was rushed to the hospital! I'm not ready to die yet!
7. I would loose all my spirituality...and my faith in God! I would end up in Hell for all the wrong things I would do to get my pills!
And so much more so it's just not worth the price I would have to pay for that 1 pill.
I think about where the pills took me. So I know that if I were to use them again they would lead me to the following:
1. I would be back in the cycle again. 1 pill would be 1 too many and 10000000 never enough.
2. I would be spending all my money! Even money I do not have! I would be looking for things to pawn or trade! Then I would run out and have to thru WD anyway. Because the pills are unsustainable. I do not have enough money to keep up with my need for pills.
So I would be sick again!
3. I would be taking too many risks. I would be looking for pills and hooking-up with people I know nothing about. One time I even bought pills from an undercover cop! So I could easily wind-up back in a jail cell! Jail has the WORST cardboard sandwiches! No privacy whatsoever! No coffee and No cigs!
4. My family would kick me to the curb! I would be homeless, lonely and cold! Plus I would have no way to buy pills if a wanted to.
5. I would loose all my respect....all that I worked hard to gain back these past few months!
6. I would die! I had too many near-death experiences that I took too many...had trouble breathing...my heart rate became erratic.....passed out and was rushed to the hospital! I'm not ready to die yet!
7. I would loose all my spirituality...and my faith in God! I would end up in Hell for all the wrong things I would do to get my pills!
And so much more so it's just not worth the price I would have to pay for that 1 pill.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: SE ohio
Posts: 255
Well said we think alike matter of fact everyone on here if they were honest would do anything for an opie it was a job you had to pay to work it lol if that makes sense well my Browns and Bengals are on talk at you all later
Free your mind
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 174
So true, CleaninLI. I know I can never use opiates of any kind again.
I fooled myself into thinking I could just use on the weekends and that it would be safe...
Then it became weekends and Wednesday because that gave me enough time to prevent tolerance.
Then I threw in Sunday night, because I was depressed about the upcoming work week.
Then Monday night - because the work day was rough and I just needed to relax, just this once. Then Tuesday night, because why not...
Next thing I knew I was back in that pit.
I fooled myself into thinking I could just use on the weekends and that it would be safe...
Then it became weekends and Wednesday because that gave me enough time to prevent tolerance.
Then I threw in Sunday night, because I was depressed about the upcoming work week.
Then Monday night - because the work day was rough and I just needed to relax, just this once. Then Tuesday night, because why not...
Next thing I knew I was back in that pit.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Yep brian and badsneaker that is exactly right. Our AV lies big time. It tells us to go ahead you can take a couple here a couple there. It lies! it only takes 1 to throw everything we worked hard for away!
I don't know if you guys have seen this video but it was very interesting. It helped me to understand my disease much better.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-mccauley.html
Hope everyone is having a lovely Sunday. Gotta go pick up some groceries BBL.
I don't know if you guys have seen this video but it was very interesting. It helped me to understand my disease much better.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-mccauley.html
Hope everyone is having a lovely Sunday. Gotta go pick up some groceries BBL.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: SE ohio
Posts: 255
Good video cleanin makes since now I tried to watch it during the game going to watch it later with no distractions thanks for it every little thing helps I don't want to fail on this journey
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
One more thing Brian, I'm a mother of 4 kids.....two are grown. You may think your son is slipping away from you. I thought that too. Especially during the teen years. They get so busy with their friends, school, jobs....hobbies. They get those attitudes too......like they know better than us....and we aren't cool enough for them. But no matter where he goes and what he does....that little boy is still inside him......that little boy who ran to you when you got home from work.....that little boy who wanted to play ball with you or.....wanted to sit with you.....the one that wanted you to listen while he chattered about his day....the one who wanted you to be proud of him......he is still there inside him.
Employees, friends, even spouses are replaceable; but parents and children are not. He will always be your son and you will always be his Dad. No one can ever replace you. That is a bond that will last a lifetime.
So don't worry he may look like he's too busy for you right now.....but he still needs you...he will always need your love.....and you will always be important to him.
Employees, friends, even spouses are replaceable; but parents and children are not. He will always be your son and you will always be his Dad. No one can ever replace you. That is a bond that will last a lifetime.
So don't worry he may look like he's too busy for you right now.....but he still needs you...he will always need your love.....and you will always be important to him.
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