sorb

well im kinda stumped now. im 40+ days clean from dope but have been taking suboxone the entire 40 days. im down to a VERY small amount of suboxone because ive been tapering it the whole time. to be exact, ive been taking a 1/32 of a strip per day for about the last 5-7 days.

yes, i said 1/32 of a strip per day. it ends up being the tiniest little square and i dont think its possible to split it down any further. it works out to .25mg of suboxone per day.

but i tried to come off this week, with wednesday being my first day taking absolutely nothing. wednesday was ok. i was a little tired and unmotivated but i didnt dwell on it and i made it thru the day ok. then thursday i woke up feeling pretty good. but by noon i was feeling worse than day 1. i spent the whole day yawning, sneezing, nose running, back hurting, impossible to get comfortable no matter how i sat/laid, totally unmotivated, totally lethargic, with absolutely no drive for life like ive had the past 40 days.

so, knowing i had to work 5 doubles in a row starting today i broke down and bought another suboxone.

ive read online and apparently suboxone withdrawals will last about 8-14 days and i dont know how im gonna hold down my job feeling like i did yesterday for 8-14 straight days... i really dont think i can do it. ive honestly been considering quitting my job because i dont know what else to do. i dont want to quit my job but i dont want to be on suboxone for very much longer either.

any input/advice/encouragement/ideas would be nice right about now. thanks.

Lyoness

Hi sorb! I'm still in my taper but have read about other folks having experiences like yours. When/if you have time, read through some of the older threads where other people talk about this.

Is there any way you could see a doctor to try maybe doing a little bit longer and guided taper? It sounds like maybe you've just been doing your own taper and maybe your body just needs a little bit longer to adjust, I don't know.

I do know buprenorphine has a much longer half-life than the shorter acting opiates like oxy and H, so that may be playing a role for you too.

I hope you can find a solution that will work so you can keep your job and get through this. Take care.

YesImReady

Sorb ,

I sure hope things are going better for you , you lasted posted in this thread a week ago.

Ive been on Suboxone for 4 days, my doctor is going to keep me on it for about 8-weeks then start the taper , fairly quick taper at that. So I'm just wondering how you are doing now ?

cleaninLI

I realize this is a little old. I've heard skipping days helps. I never did it myself.

addictedmd

I am also having difficulty tapering/stopping my Suboxone. I have been on it for 8 months now. I thought I would get off of it a long time ago. I was taking 2mg/0.5mg tabs BID and then got myself down to 1/2 tab BID and my mood just went to ****; I got so depressed I wanted to kill myself and not do anything else and on top of that I got cocky and thought I could do it all in a week which consisted of me sitting in my house for a week w/o leaving except once to get groceries and that was the only day I even brushed my teeth and took a shower. So I got back on my regular dose again and started doing okay and then started taping down more slowly this time to taper down some more but I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to make it as soon as I start to taper down I start having suicidal ideations. I am now also addicted to a sleeping medicine (2-3/day) and not for sleep but to increase my mood and motivation so I can work and be productive such as clean and shop. This particular medicine is fairly easy to get in large quantities. I haven't left my apartment in 8 months except to work and go grocery shopping except 2x socially and one of those times was to p/u some sleeping pills from someone when I had run out. I have isolated myself from everyone including my family b/c I am so ****** up I don't want anyone to know about it. I was always the person who always had it together until I got addicted to Vicodin a few years ago. My job is in health care and all day I treat addictions, ADD/ADHD, depression, anxiety, etc. so you'd think my life wouldn't be so ****** up as I am able to fix/help other people. I haven't seen any friends really b/c I don't want them to know about how bad my life is. I don't date b/c I feel like I have so many problems I should not burden another person with them and who would want someone like me anyway? So I am alone and single and I mostly just work and watch t.v. Very sad and pathetic. Being a health care provider it is very difficult to ask anyone else for help so even though I am supposed to be going to AA/NA meetings twice a week I haven't gone except for one a few months ago. I am sure if I continued to go it would help but I haven't been. Being in the health care field I find myself irritated at people that just whine and complain all the time and I feel like people should help themselves so I don't want to be one of those whiners even though I guess that's what I am doing now. On the outside people are amazed at how well I handle myself and my career and even my addiction (the few that know about it) but they don't know the whole story; no one does. If they did I would lose my medical license to practice and then I wouldn't have anything to live for. I figured maybe this forum would help me express myself and my thoughts anonymously and maybe find some help on here w/o too much judgment and some empathy. I need so much help but don't want to go see a physician (except my psych so I can get my Sub rx), therapist, go to AA/NA meetings or burden any of my friends and family. If they knew how I had been living my life they would be horrified and feel so bad for me and I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me either. Well this post has been long enough so for those of you who actually read it I appreciate it; this is the first time I have been open and honest to anyone about my addiction in it's entirely.

cleaninLI

MD,
Thank you for sharing. You are not alone. We are all here for the same reason. Keep posting. It is so common to suffer from depression and anxiety in early recovery. I think the majority of us posting on this site suffer from insomnia as well. I was into self-medicating and found it so easy to pop a pill rather than deal with my emotions. I felt like the pills made me superwoman. I felt they made me the BEST employee at my job, the BEST mother and the BEST wife.

I really empathize with you and totally understand how being a Dr., having easy access to medications could lead you deep into addiction. I, myself, could NEVER work in the healthcare field. Anyway, I just wanted to welcome you and let you know that you are not alone.

sorb

hi YesImReady. im doing ok right now. still taking a very small amount of suboxone. i usually take 1/32 (.25mg) and never more than 1/16 (.5mg) per day. lately ive been trying to just alternate days so that im not taking it every day. basically just trying anything to slowly come off without having to quit my job.

ive always had great things to say about suboxone and i still think its an amazing drug but after this little ordeal i think i can only recommend it to someone trying to hold down a job or take care of other important things. if you arent working and can take the 1-2 weeks to yourself to just withdrawal c/t, i would have to suggest that way. today is day 51 clean from dope but low and behold im still physically dependent on an opiate... and that kinda hurts a little bit.

on a more positive note, ill take physically dependent on a minuscule amount of suboxone over strung out on dope anyday! and it has been a really good 51 days . thanks for the responses everyone.

cleaninLI

Hey yesimready, How r you doing? Let us know.

YesImReady

Well glad to know you are still with us and clean from your DOC
I'm on day 7 & now taking 2mg twice a day with a plan to get down to 1/2mg once a day by week 11 , hold that for one week then take 1 week off work and CT from there. That is my plan as of now and being I have 7 weeks of vacation saved up if I need to take more I can do that, I fortunate to be working at a great company that is fully aware of the program I'm on. I have told them that I have only been taking opiates that were prescribed to me from my doctor & have decided to do all this by my own choice which is true. The only thing that isn't true is I was not only taking what was prescribed but also taking 300 oxy's per month I was buying from others. So with my work being fully aware of what I'm going thru and them being behind me on my program and encouraging me even to the point of saying I may take as much vacation as I feel I need. Hopefully this will be easier on me that others on this board. I feel for those of you that can not be as open with your employers. That must really suck, I now just need to decide is 1-week to CT when I get down to 1/2 mg. per day will be enough time ? I may tell my work that I'm gonna take 1-week vacation followed by working from home for 1-week just to before I give myself enough time.

sorb

i would leave yourself the option of working from home for the second week. i really dont know for sure tho, as the longest ive made it was 3 days off subs. but a quick google search will tell you that suboxone withdrawals arent as bad but are longer, more drawn out. hopefully its all talk and a week is all it would take, but having the option to stay home an extra week might make the difference.

YesImReady

thanks Sorb ,,, Ive been with this company for 14 years or so & have only called in sick 2 days in that time , never been late and as you can tell from me having so much vacation time 7-weeks ( I have also sold back 3-weeks ) that I don't take vacation often either. Being short on funds because of spending all my money on Oxy's the last couple of years is a big part of that though. That all being said I can easily take 2-weeks vacation or 1-week plus 1-week of working from home which I'm leaning towards. I also plan on following other members on this site to see how much time they required before returning to normal. We are all different but it is a good guide line hopefully.

10timesacharm

I'm about 40 days clean too, with a small hiccup in between, but 40 days on subs. I want to get off ASAP but when I try, i am constantly yawning and eyes watering so bad, I just can't work through that. But the subs make me feel sooo fatigued.
i have done Cold Turkey before and part of me wishes I would have just taken a little time off work and done that, because this is just as hard.
I totally agree with you... if you can get the time off work or you dont have to work, just do CT. the subs helps make life somewhat bearable, but it's still very difficult to do anything really.

jason1981

Like I have been telling my best friend that, the first 2 and a half days are sweating, stuff coming out both ends. Make friends with immodium, ensure, Gatorade, and water. I am going into day 10 now, it wasn't until day 6 that I was finally able to keep things down. Day 10, you still lack all energy, if you have sick time use it. I work on cars so it wasn't until my 4-5 days in I started having trouble concentration so I took 3 sick days, lining me to come back this Sunday which will be day 11 my There is no magic cure, I will stress to keep yourself busy, physically. Not just watching movies all day, you need to keep busy! Nothing about this is easy, this was my 3rd try. I had just had it with being on the sub leash. Just keep talking about it. People here want to help you. I will do what I can if you have any questions. I'm 31, been on morphine and percs for 8 years, subs for one year. Back surgeries is my back story. If that helps you any.

BrianSchaff

In my experience tapering the first time, being on 1 mg for a couple of weeks was placebo and I did not feel different once off. Do you have a psychiatrist because a high percentage of addicts have underlying conditions. That would be my advice which is see a docter that can distinguish between your symptoms.

YoungAndClean

8-14, no. More like 5-7, unless you've been on it for years at 8mg+ There is no easy way to get off sub, but i just did last week so it can be done but yes I had to live through the withdrawals at least they arent as harsh as heroin but they do last longer.

BrianSchaff

the biggest complaints I hear with suboxone withdrawal and experiencing it myself was back pains and the GI adjustment. Motrin 800 with icy hot and lope only when needed. My psych meds didn't seem to help at all, it was a matter of getting back pain under control so you can exercise your back. Kicking an IV habit was just another beast and not even close to being in the same ballpark IMO.

addictedmd

I am going for the 2nd time try to get off the Sub. I have tried before and was not successful. I agree with most that if possible CT is the best but I did not have any time off and I had to go to work the day after I started the Sub with a full work schedule; I was so happy to learn I still had a job even though they knew my addiction that I wanted to give 150% every day. Looking back I should have gone into rehab for 4-8 weeks at a place where they treat healthcare professionals and dealt with my **** and just do CT from the Vicodin b/c I had done that before and it sucked but bearable. But had I done that I don't know if I would still have a job and then if I lost my job I wouldn't have been able to afford the rehab so it was the old Catch-22. My mood is better now as I am on an anti-depressant (which I fought for the past 8 months but finally agreed and it has really made a difference. It's a fairly new medicine called Viibryd and it seemed to work w/i a week or so versus waiting the 4-6 weeks like most of the others and I haven't had any ASE that I am aware of. So I have scheduled a few weeks off and I'm going to try to taper down quickly hoping the anti-depressant will be enough for my mood and hope I don't become suicidal this time. I do have some benefits that others probably don't (which I don't know if there is medical help to w/d from Sub meaning rx to help with the side effects of w/d) (all of this legal). I don't know if anyone has tried asking their psych if they would give them meds to help with the side effects or not but I think the empathetic ones would (non-addicting meds of course). So kudos to the ones that have been able to stop and kudos to the ones that have even tried. I agree with everyone that you almost either need to take 2 weeks off or quit your job and not everyone has that option (in fact most people if they have a good job esp. in this economy want to keep it) so for the ones that kept working and got off I admire you; you have lots of control and will power and if during my time I need some support I will ask for it right here b/c I know I will get it. Thanks for 1) Listening 2) All of the sharing as it really helps and also encourages. If anyone else has any suggestions to help with tapering off Sub I would be more than happy to hear it. I will try to keep everyone up to date as I struggle through.

BrianSchaff

Clonidine is a popular Med that is used for blood pressure and has been used successful for anxiety. Advice is now allowed to be given so this is a tricky one.

Lonefang

I'm on day 3 of suboxone withdraw. I was on 8mg for about two years. I know, that's cowardly, but honestly one of the reasons I got hooked on oxy is because of the energy and being able to be social. I have dealt with depression and social anxiety for many years. Anyway, long story short, I've tapered to half a mg a day for about 5 months and then decided to go cold turkey.

My symptoms are the usual: stretching, yawning, sneezing, stomach trouble, body aches and probably the worse of all, lack of energy and at the same time, insomnia. I toss and turn and go hot and cold all night. I will say one thing that is helping a bit is my anxiety meds. Also, I have yet to start the depression bit, which is strange, especially considering that I'm already pre diagnosed. Anyway, thankfully my work understands. I'm going to try to go in for a few hours tomorrow because I heard that exercise is good and I work at a gym, even though its the farthest thing on my mind. I pray to God every night that I will find my way back to what used to be a sort of normal. Wish me luck.

cleaninLI

Lonefang,

Welcome to SR! Congratulations on your successful taper off of suboxone! I am currently on 6 mgs suboxone and am beginning to taper down. You say you took 5 months to taper? Curious, before reaching 1 mg, did you taper by 1 mgs and how long did you stay at the lowered amount before stepping down again? I appreciate your answer.

Thank you!