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Old 03-31-2019, 06:54 AM   #41 (permalink)
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I do not believe in a one size fits all solution to sobriety. I use AVRT. I actually learned the concept back in NA in the 90's from my sponsor. I have always known that my addict is separate from myself. It has it's own voice and can be louder than mine if I allow it. The other thing I learned is that I cannot do this alone. I have failed miserably over and over again trying on my own. I do attend AA meetings. I am not working a program or anything, but for the most part the meetings help me. I can talk about my struggles and get feedback. It reminds me that I am not alone. I take what I need and leave the rest. I get to practice tolerance while I am there because of the whole God thing. I do have moments that make me uncomfortable, but I just move past it because I know the meeting helps me. AVRT is an important part of my sobriety, but it cannot be the only thing for me. I just need more.
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Old 03-31-2019, 08:03 AM   #42 (permalink)
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"I do not believe in a one size fits all solution to sobriety. "

AVRT , as far as I can tell isn't the only solution to sobriety.

Abstinence is the only solution to addiction and that isn't just pointing out a semantic quibble. It is highlighting a conceptual difference.

Drinking and drugging are artificial, supplemental modes of existence. Not participating in those activities , their absence isn't an alternative state of being, not ingesting consciousness altering chemicals is the 'norm' is the natural, unadulterated state of being.

Viewing sobriety as an end state to strive for , for me, was giving myself the default position as a drinker/user. Practicing purposeful abstinence altered that default , I became what I was ( and always could have been) a person living life albeit with a small caveat: a teetotaler .

I don't view my mode of living as 'sobriety', or being 'sober', I am 'sober' but only because I refuse to live as a slave to intoxication ever again, by refusing to self intoxicate.

Life is a lot of things and sometimes it can be hard. Seeking help and support to meet challenges life can hand out is a good positive strategy and should be encouraged for everyone.

Having difficulty reconciling the fact that the solution to addiction is abstinence and that entails never getting to get high again can be a challenge but that is really outside of the solution , yeah ?

AVRT as a solution can/will lead to living comfortably with residual desire.
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Old 03-31-2019, 09:11 AM   #43 (permalink)
No Dogma Please
 
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I also used many different methods and groups and anything I could get into to get sober. At times I also found AA/CA useful. I also never formally "did AVRT," I had already decided that I was no longer a drinker when I read the AVRT material. I think it's the combination of my sobriety methods that have gotten me there and have lead me to a place where I rarely crave alcohol. This last craving was the first in over a year and was triggered by an extremely emotional event. I'll take those odds.

My continued sobriety method is to use this principles and to come to SR. But if I felt the need for more community or in-person support other than my therapist I wouldn't hesitate to go to a meeting.
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Old 03-31-2019, 08:16 PM   #44 (permalink)
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Mindful Man ~

I just wanted to express my sorrow at the loss of your beloved Dog. Our current 4th Goldie Dog is very much a Family Member, and this one will be especially rough when that awful Day comes.

I haven't any choice this go-round but to face this Pet loss while Sober. A recent Dog Cancer scare shocked me into preparation. Everything turned out fine, but caused me to realize what the inevitable future holds. Goldies are predisposed to Cancer, and life beyond his current 10 Years is considered to be a gift. So, I'm now treating it as such.

I commend you on your Mental Acuity, and plan/hope to do as well.

From a former, fellow S. Californian...
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Old 03-31-2019, 11:29 PM   #45 (permalink)
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Thanks Mesa.

Rotties are also prone to cancer, but I got lucky with my first one, he lived to be 14. Nearly unheard of.|

I had two months warning with Otto, the steroids bought us that much time when the symptoms disappeared, but I knew it would be back.

I'll get a puppy end of summer/early fall.
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Old 04-01-2019, 01:25 AM   #46 (permalink)
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MindfulMan I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved dog. I absolutely understand your heartbreak, my dogs are my world.

Great that you have separated from your beast again Tammy
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Old 04-03-2019, 08:10 PM   #47 (permalink)
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I just came on your thread, and so I read it all at once to the end as I didn't want to post without reading all of it. Very happy for you, Tammy. And kudos to dwtb, awesome stuff. Exactly what I was thinking as I was reading - it's the separation, old friend! Glad this stuff still rings for you. Onward!
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Old 05-18-2019, 05:52 PM   #48 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by freshstart57 View Post
I just came on your thread, and so I read it all at once to the end as I didn't want to post without reading all of it. Very happy for you, Tammy. And kudos to dwtb, awesome stuff. Exactly what I was thinking as I was reading - it's the separation, old friend! Glad this stuff still rings for you. Onward!
You’re still here still giving sage advice I am sure. It was nice to see a member I remembered.

I hope you are well, freshstart!
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Old 05-22-2019, 04:35 PM   #49 (permalink)
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Because I want to drink.
Is that really you that wants to drink, though? Because the "me" that wants to drink is not me.
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Old 05-29-2019, 02:44 AM   #50 (permalink)
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Tammy,

Thanks so much for starting this thread, which is really thoughtful and helpful.

And I am so happy to see you doing so well.

Mindful,

I am sorry for your loss, and happy to hear you will be getting a new puppy.

Best to all.
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Old 05-29-2019, 11:24 PM   #51 (permalink)
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Thanks Dropsie.

I was thinking about Otto a lot today, and was watching rottweiler training videos to mentally prepare for the task of a new puppy. Damn it's gonna be harder at 57.

I took a friend to the symphony (Beethoven's 4th and 5th Piano Concertos at the Walt Disney Concert Hall) on Friday, which was breathtaking. Speaking to him really puts grief into perspective. He's about 10 years younger, and last December lost his wife after a 4 1/2 year battle with glioblastoma multiforme, a particularly awful form of brain cancer. They've been together for over 30 year and were really each other's first loves. His level of grief is nearly beyond comprehension to me.

We talked a lot about the need to be in a group that understands, so hopefully he'll get some grief counseling. I know that in early recovery I really needed AA to speak with people that had been through what I was going through. Nobody who hasn't actually been in recovery really understands what it does to you, both difficult and good.

Thanks to all for your kind words about Otto. It's not nearly at the level of what my friend is going through, but it still hurts.

And I won't drink over ANY loss at this point. Just gotta feel the feels.
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