Enough is enough. Today is day 1 ~Newbie here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 34
Thank you guys. I look back over my posts and am disgusted with myself. When I first read about RR online I immediately ordered the book. I will admit that I have not read it fully and have not utilized it's tools.
I am not doing AA (btdt), don't like the powerlessness aspect of it. I went smart recovery meetings, which I can relate more too. I need to make some connections on SR and utilize the tools that are offered here. I feel like I've been floundering all over the place. I can do fine for a week and then think - just one more time. I've been doing so well. I'll just drink at night after the kids are in bed and nobody will ever know. Well, the night blended into the next day this last time.
I am so fortunate with all that I have. I do not want to risk losing anything more than I already have. I've never been on SR chat. I'll look into it later this evening. Thank you for your kind words and gentle call outs. I really can't take the in your face approach right now. My self esteem is at an all time low right now, as it should be.
As far as saying I was a binge drinker instead of I am... You are right. I need to do more positive self talk.
I am not doing AA (btdt), don't like the powerlessness aspect of it. I went smart recovery meetings, which I can relate more too. I need to make some connections on SR and utilize the tools that are offered here. I feel like I've been floundering all over the place. I can do fine for a week and then think - just one more time. I've been doing so well. I'll just drink at night after the kids are in bed and nobody will ever know. Well, the night blended into the next day this last time.
I am so fortunate with all that I have. I do not want to risk losing anything more than I already have. I've never been on SR chat. I'll look into it later this evening. Thank you for your kind words and gentle call outs. I really can't take the in your face approach right now. My self esteem is at an all time low right now, as it should be.
As far as saying I was a binge drinker instead of I am... You are right. I need to do more positive self talk.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 250
Mag and Non,
Do you know about the Tuesday night and Friday night group meetings here at SR? They take place at 6PM pacific time - which is in 2 hours from now.
Go to the chat room labeled, "meeting room."
Hope to see you there!
-first
Do you know about the Tuesday night and Friday night group meetings here at SR? They take place at 6PM pacific time - which is in 2 hours from now.
Go to the chat room labeled, "meeting room."
Hope to see you there!
-first
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 34
I was able to join the meeting for a bit once I figured out how to get there! Thanks for the invite. Feeling better tonight. I have some damage to undo with my family though. I'm feeling so much guilt and shame for what I've put them through. They don't deserve any of this. I'm trying to use this feeling that I've felt all day to never repeat this again. I've got lots of reading to do in my RR book, also picked up Allen Carr's the easy way to stop drinking (thoughts on the latter book?) as well as the Power of Habit. Thanks all for the hand holding and kind words today. Night's are the worst for me, so I'll be spending a lot of time on SR from here on out.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 250
Mag and Non,
Please come to the meeting on Friday, if you want.. It is at 9 PM EST (6PM PST).
I am glad you both are better today. It is so very hard to deal with the emotions and physical symptoms of (yet another) relapse.
-first
Please come to the meeting on Friday, if you want.. It is at 9 PM EST (6PM PST).
I am glad you both are better today. It is so very hard to deal with the emotions and physical symptoms of (yet another) relapse.
-first
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Yeah, I felt crappier today than I expected. The physical withdrawals are getting worse for me. More reasons to avoid them altogether.
I might have a date with my wife tomorrow. She is just getting back from her brother's and wants to discuss my bender.
I might have a date with my wife tomorrow. She is just getting back from her brother's and wants to discuss my bender.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by MagRich 
Ahh discussing your bender. I don't envy you non! I hate discussing my mess-ups. I just want to move on and leave it behind. Good luck!
Well, I suppose I could refuse to participate in the discussion, but there's no happily ever after to a story going that direction. My discomfort won't even be 5% of the pain I have put her through. I can hack it.
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Originally Posted by Nonsensical
I would prefer to avoid it and just move on, but it's not up to me.
Well, I suppose I could refuse to participate in the discussion, but there's no happily ever after to a story going that direction. My discomfort won't even be 5% of the pain I have put her through. I can hack it.
Well, I suppose I could refuse to participate in the discussion, but there's no happily ever after to a story going that direction. My discomfort won't even be 5% of the pain I have put her through. I can hack it.
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