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How do you know it's the end or the beginning?

Old 05-28-2009, 09:13 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Didn't mean to cause any wincing. Not necessary really. And not on the list of approved Katie activities. My approval or opinion of you is not on the list.

Originally Posted by Katie09 View Post
This is just how my brain works, unfortunately.
I know. It's how mine works also. I call it alcoholism. And it's exactly why you and I need recovery.

I started working with a guy last fall who had a similar brain function. Similar to yours and mine. This guy had been in and out of recovery for the last three years or so, always stringing together 5 or 6 or 8 months and going back out for a 6 month bender, ending in tragedy and broken relationships and broken stuff. This guy was stuck in that spin of bouncing from one thing to the next, one worry to the next.

His brain couldn't get any traction. He just couldn't get any traction. Ideas and worries and thoughts and fears kept coming in and out and slipping by, out of control like. Simple and incomplete description, but accurate enough to make a start. This is called identifying the right foot. Once that right foot is identified, all we had to do was put the left foot in front of it. And so on.

Sounds overly simplistic, but there it is. We just have to throw a little sand down to give some traction. If IOP is the route you are pursuing, what are they having you do? Surely they don't expect you to get recovery just by showing up a few times a week? No, they expect you to complete exercises and do some self-searching and what not.

So there you go. What is the first thing for the first day? Do that and do only that. Because with where you are right now, it doesn't matter much exactly what you do. You're just looking for some sand or speed bumps to give a little traction.

Don't think about it, question it, or even have any opinions. Just do that first thing. When it's done, you can look at a second thing.
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Old 05-29-2009, 12:52 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
I got nothin'
 
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Sometimes we can't fix ourselves - especially when we're not well in ourselves. Sometimes IMO we need that extra outside perspective.

I dunno about anyone else here? but I was woefully bad at self diagnosis, self treatment and self medication.

Sometimes too I think we do need those pesky emotions filtered, or augmented, monitored, or whatever.
D


Yeah, that's me. I've tried to do this alone for a long time. My mind does things I cannot control. It's hard for me to accept that. I don't want to...but there it is. I never thought my mind would end up in a place like this.


Hello, Katie.



Originally Posted by keithj View Post
What is the first thing for the first day? Do that and do only that.
I like this a lot. I have a tendency to get way too far ahead of myself when I should be worried about doing the simple and small things I can control, like staying sober, getting some exercise, and going to work. All the big problems I want to tackle, the things that really matter...looks like I have to wait. That's another thing that's hard for me to accept. I guess I have to. It's probably easier to go after the big problems while standing on solid ground...and I know I'm not on solid ground.

How are you doing today?
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Old 05-29-2009, 05:56 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Hi Bam,

Are you feeling any differently/better today Bam?
Oh yes,...I know that feeling, the mind running in circles. Busy minds and little gets done. Anxiety provoking in itself.

I like Keithj's suggestion, that's great. I have also found that I have to take myself back to basics some days and if that means scrapping what i thought the plan was or even should have been. Back to basics where things *will* get accomplished and I can see results. i need to see results to keep me grounded and if that means a walk or a run, paying bills, laundry etc. then that's what I have to do. What I can't control will wait, because for right now...I can't control it.
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Old 05-29-2009, 07:56 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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I often have trouble with the larger plans. What I do is break them down. So if I need to run ten errands, I will list all ten. As I do each one, I cross it off the list. If I need to scrap the rest of the list so be it. I can still look at each item I crossed off and know that I've done quite a bit for the day.
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