Didn't mean to cause any wincing. Not necessary really. And not on the list of approved Katie activities. My approval or opinion of you is not on the list.
Originally Posted by
Katie09 
This is just how my brain works, unfortunately.
I know. It's how mine works also. I call it alcoholism. And it's exactly why you and I need recovery.
I started working with a guy last fall who had a similar brain function. Similar to yours and mine. This guy had been in and out of recovery for the last three years or so, always stringing together 5 or 6 or 8 months and going back out for a 6 month bender, ending in tragedy and broken relationships and broken stuff. This guy was stuck in that spin of bouncing from one thing to the next, one worry to the next.
His brain couldn't get any traction. He just couldn't get any traction. Ideas and worries and thoughts and fears kept coming in and out and slipping by, out of control like. Simple and incomplete description, but accurate enough to make a start. This is called identifying the right foot. Once that right foot is identified, all we had to do was put the left foot in front of it. And so on.
Sounds overly simplistic, but there it is. We just have to throw a little sand down to give some traction. If IOP is the route you are pursuing, what are they having you do? Surely they don't expect you to get recovery just by showing up a few times a week? No, they expect you to complete exercises and do some self-searching and what not.
So there you go. What is the first thing for the first day? Do that and do only that. Because with where you are right now, it doesn't matter much exactly what you do. You're just looking for some sand or speed bumps to give a little traction.
Don't think about it, question it, or even have any opinions. Just do that first thing. When it's done, you can look at a second thing.