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Bear with me, folks. A further explaination...

Old 03-31-2009, 07:49 PM
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Originally Posted by jimhere View Post

Between two and three years of sobriety, I tried being a part of a fundamental church. I kind of liked some of it, but I found the courage to question the doctrine and couldn't buy it. I also couldn't stomach the exclusivity and hateful bigotry towards anyone that wasn't in line with their agenda. I ended up leaving that church and haven't found a need to be a part of anything like it since. For a while I had a pretty good resentment, but I had to let it go.

To sum it all up, I find that I can't afford to be bigoted against the bigots.
Jim
Thanks for sharing something of your life. I don't want to digress too much but, for some of us, AA is like what I bolded - too much. You found it in a church experience. Some of us find the exact same thing in AA. And I ended up leaving that AA church too.
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Old 03-31-2009, 07:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Katie09 View Post
Thanks for sharing something of your life. I don't want to digress too much but, for some of us, AA is like what I bolded - too much. You found it in a church experience. Some of us find the exact same thing in AA. And I ended up leaving that AA church too.

I understand.

I guess what I would stress to anyone looking for a contented, meaningful sobriety through any approach is to let go of the resentment.

Like I said, I can't even get by with being bigoted against the bigots in the fundamental churches. They are still pushing their agenda and there isn't anything I can do about it. They are probaly not loosing much sleep over what I think of them.

And they are not the ones who will die of alcoholism.
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Old 03-31-2009, 08:04 PM
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Originally Posted by jimhere View Post
I understand.

I guess what I would stress to anyone looking for a contented, meaningful sobriety through any approach is to let go of the resentment.

Like I said, I can't even get by with being bigoted against the bigots in the fundamental churches. They are still pushing their agenda and there isn't anything I can do about it. They are probaly not loosing much sleep over what I think of them.

And they are not the ones who will die of alcoholism.
Aha, I think we may have reached a point of understanding here. You are correct in that letting go of resentment is essential. The difference between AA and churches is there are so many more churches to go to (you can be Catholic, Lutheran, etc, etc and all of those other spinoffs and ways of thinking about religion). For those of us in the secular forum, we only have maybe one or two more churches to go to, if we're lucky (like maybe LifeRing or SMART - and only if you live in the right place will that be an option). Often there are no other churches to go to. Now can you see what we're up against maybe? AA rules in every city, state and on and on.

We need the same help to be sure, but the one AA church rings through and through. What happens when we don't resonate with that church? No one disputes dying. What I do dispute is the lack of alternatives or churches. You can pick and choose, we cannot.
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Old 03-31-2009, 08:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Katie09 View Post
but the one AA church rings through and through. What happens when we don't resonate with that church?
You could try and drop your resentment about that maybe? You could stop focusing on what you don't want and how unfair things are and focus on what you can do to help yourself.
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Old 03-31-2009, 08:37 PM
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Originally Posted by stone View Post
You could try and drop your resentment about that maybe? You could stop focusing on what you don't want and how unfair things are and focus on what you can do to help yourself.
Pfft. Maybe this is another thread here that has to sprout. I don't want to hijack. Why not start a thread in the secular forum promoting the church of AA? I am sure it will go over well.

Come to think of it, I think it's tradition #8 - based on attraction rather than promotion, although one would never know it in this forum.
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Old 03-31-2009, 08:51 PM
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I wasn't promoting AA, I don't see how you could get that from my post.
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:02 PM
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Originally Posted by stone View Post
I wasn't promoting AA, I don't see how you could get that from my post.
No doubt because of this:

Originally Posted by Katie09
but the one AA church rings through and through. What happens when we don't resonate with that church?
You could try and drop your resentment about that maybe? You could stop focusing on what you don't want and how unfair things are and focus on what you can do to help yourself.
This is why. Now, this forum IS a free for all, in that we mingle in places all over this forum. Do you go to AA? I humbly confess I've been mistaken about this before. It just seems to me that there SHOULD be a safe place to post here free of certain churchy stuff.

If you want to debate the merits of dropping resentments, pls. do start a thread. I am sensitive to hijacking other people's threads.
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:14 PM
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Katie, you wanna stop telling me to start another thread? LOL That's twice now.

You are basically telling me to leave this thread unless my posts fit your criteria.

I wasn't promoting AA and I wasn't posting "churchy stuff".
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:26 PM
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BTW, I recently left AA (I would hardly promote something I decided to leave) but am thinking of going to meetings occasionaly, for the social aspect.
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:31 PM
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Originally Posted by stone View Post
Katie, you wanna stop telling me to start another thread? LOL That's twice now.

You are basically telling me to leave this thread unless my posts fit your criteria.

I wasn't promoting AA and I wasn't posting "churchy stuff".
Sorry, no worries and I can relate to the social aspect, as I've met some very wonderful people in AA. AA, to me, is churchy stuff, however. One look at those steps and you know you are going to end up in church, sooner or later
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:42 PM
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Originally Posted by stone View Post
BTW, I recently left AA (I would hardly promote something I decided to leave) but am thinking of going to meetings occasionaly, for the social aspect.
I belong to a club that host AA meetings...the Port H******* Alano Club. They have people that hang out before and after the meetings. I've gotten to know a bunch of them. I don't think they care if I'm and atheist or not. I don't even remember anybody asking. I even attend occasional meetings just to get a resentment...LOL...No not really. I do test my non-judgmental practice tho. I still need a lot of work on that....getting better of not taking what is said by others in the meetings I do attend as an affront to my sensibilities...LOL. Oh yes back on subject...they have dinners, dances and stuff all he time. It really helps me in my addiction treatment efforts to socialize with others in recovery...and on the social level its real casual...I mean no book thumping or stuff.
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:46 PM
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I disagree about the church part( and I don't do AA either.)

Stone is doing incredibly well lately, mostly because he did start his own thread in newcomers-not about A.A but about getting serious about his recovery.If you took the time to read it, and read a little further than the confines of this forum you'd see that he's facing and dealing with many things without A.A.He's not preaching at anyone, least of all you.

Your resentment of A.A seems to blind you to anything anyone says to you here, which is a shame.
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Jules62 View Post
I disagree about the church part( and I don't do AA either.)

Stone is doing incredibly well lately, mostly because he did start his own thread in newcomers-not about A.A but about getting serious about his recovery.If you took the time to read it, and read a little further than the confines of this forum you'd see that he's facing and dealing with many things without A.A.He's not preaching at anyone, least of all you.

Your resentment of A.A seems to blind you to anything anyone says to you here, which is a shame.
Thank you. I am glad Stone is doing incredibly well, sincerely. I just find I must stay away from that forum, as there are too many AA people in it, and it simply isn't good for my mental health.
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Old 03-31-2009, 09:54 PM
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You're welcome.I hope you find the support you need-truly.

Jules.
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Old 03-31-2009, 10:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Katie09 View Post
Pfft. Maybe this is another thread here that has to sprout. I don't want to hijack. Why not start a thread in the secular forum promoting the church of AA? I am sure it will go over well.

Come to think of it, I think it's tradition #8 - based on attraction rather than promotion, although one would never know it in this forum.

Actually it is Tradition 11. But that's not why I posted here in the first place.

I didn't mean to start a big ruckus and I apologize for doing so. I'll bow out now.
Jim
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Old 04-01-2009, 02:14 AM
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Hey BAM, looks like you'll be fine with us!
Jim, didnt seem like much of a ruckus to me, I'm sure we all can get by with just that much, and you didn't really cause it either
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Old 04-01-2009, 07:39 AM
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Wow...what happened when I went to sleep last night?
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Old 04-01-2009, 07:44 AM
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Maybe I should have put another disclaimer in my original post:

This thread was inspired by other threads that I've lurked on (yes, I'm a shameless lurker). I elected to start my own thread so to not go off topic on the other threads (or to hog it)...so what I had to say was related to an issue that is continuously brought up on SR. That’s all.
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Old 04-01-2009, 07:55 AM
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Old 04-01-2009, 08:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Bamboozle View Post
Maybe I should have put another disclaimer in my original post:

This thread was inspired by other threads that I've lurked on (yes, I'm a shameless lurker). I elected to start my own thread so to not go off topic on the other threads (or to hog it)...so what I had to say was related to an issue that is continuously brought up on SR. Thatís all.

Sorry, folks. This part looks a little harsh...I didn't intend it to be that way. Just talking about myself and no one here. Carry on.
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