Notices

Donít know where to begin..

Old 07-18-2018, 07:36 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2
Donít know where to begin..

Iím not even sure if Iím supposed to be here or if I consider myself an alcoholic. Iím in no way dependent on it. I drink maybe once a week, but when I do, I overdo it. Almost every single time. Iíve offended countless people, had several friendships dissolved and done things and said things I would never dream of doing when sober. I donít know how to say no to another drink, or go home when itís time. I have no limits and I want it to end. I just want to be able to drink like a normal person. Iím not ready to quit drinking alcohol completely. Iím just ready to not wake up the next day and several days after that with guilt and depression from the messes Iíve made and the people Iíve upset. I hope someone can possibly give me some advice who has been in this same or similar situation. Thank you.
Littlefunn94 is offline  
Old 07-18-2018, 07:43 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
biminiblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 23,997
Binge drinking is pretty serious business.

If you are having the same problem over and over, it's something to take seriously...if drinking is causing a problem and you don't quit once you start - the solution is to not start, yeah?

Don't pick up that first drink! That's the answer we all came up with.

Welcome to the forums.
biminiblue is offline  
Old 07-18-2018, 09:42 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
fini's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,201
hi Lf,

most of us are here because we could not drink like a "normal" drinker and accepted that after many experiments.

so you will be unlikely to find folks here who have done it, though many of us have had that desperate desire to be a "normal" drinker.

you might check out Moderation Management's website.
fini is offline  
Old 07-18-2018, 10:25 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 58,656
I think that most, if not all of us here have tried to moderate our drinking and failed. If you cannot stop drinking once you start, the simple solution is to not start. Alcoholics cannot control or moderate their drinking. It sounds like alcohol is causing problems in your life, so maybe consider that alcohol should not be in your life?
Anna is online now  
Old 07-18-2018, 10:27 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
I could see peace instead of this
 
Bird615's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Welcome, Littlefun!

I used to think that even though I overdid it when I drank, I could quit anytime I wanted to--I just didn't want to.

It was an awful feeling when I got tired of the problems it was causing me and decided I should quit only to find out I couldn't. There was always some reason or justification of why it was okay to drink again.

I tried every which way to control it so I wouldn't have to stop entirely and nothing ever worked for long.

After enough pain and misery of trying to hang on to it, I finally gave up trying and got help to stop completely. That's the only relief I've found.
Bird615 is offline  
Old 07-18-2018, 01:01 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Sober Alcoholic
 
awuh1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,533
Your post reminded me of something from the 1st edition of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" Littlefunn94

"We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic. If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic."

I hope you can successfully address the problem before disaster strikes. All the best to you.
awuh1 is offline  
Old 07-18-2018, 01:46 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2
Wow thank you for all the feedback that everyone has provided. I guess I donít know how to stop or itís not even possible at this time. I donít know where or howíd I would begin.
Littlefunn94 is offline  
Old 07-18-2018, 03:26 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Littlefunn94 View Post
. I guess I don’t know how to stop or it’s not even possible at this time. I don’t know where or how’d I would begin.
the first step would be WANTING to stop. it is possible if you WANT to stop.
then be willing to go to any lengths to make that happen.
tomsteve is offline  
Old 04-01-2019, 11:32 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 11
Can you control your drinking? THAT is the question. Do you have control over your drinking? If so you will only drink as often and as much as you intend. You are the only person that can know the answer to this. If you still have control over your drinking then you are not alcoholic.
DaveNZ is offline  
Old 06-24-2019, 11:12 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by Littlefunn94 View Post
Iím not even sure if Iím supposed to be here or if I consider myself an alcoholic. Iím in no way dependent on it. I drink maybe once a week, but when I do, I overdo it. Almost every single time. Iíve offended countless people, had several friendships dissolved and done things and said things I would never dream of doing when sober. I donít know how to say no to another drink, or go home when itís time. I have no limits and I want it to end. I just want to be able to drink like a normal person. Iím not ready to quit drinking alcohol completely. Iím just ready to not wake up the next day and several days after that with guilt and depression from the messes Iíve made and the people Iíve upset. I hope someone can possibly give me some advice who has been in this same or similar situation. Thank you.
I thought I was reading one of my own posts. I know exactly how you feel. This weekend I screwed up and I had planned on staying home. I knew one drink would lead to shots and many drinks until I blacked out. I feel guilty and depressed for a few days and promise myself no more alcohol and then after a week convince myself I can have a few and sometimes itís true I can be fine but thatís very rare. For myself I just have to stop. I binge drink every few weeks and I hate myself everytime. I donít drink durning the week or even crave it but I hate the person I become when Im drunk. I would never do certain things if I wasnít drunk. Iím a completely different person. Thanks for posting. Ask yourself is drinking like a ďnormalĒ person really a big deal? For me I rather not take the chance but Iím still on this roller coaster.
Justme8 is offline  
Old 06-24-2019, 08:11 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
fini's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,201
hi Justme,
the post you responded to is pretty old, so you may not hear back from the original poster.
glad youíre here and welcome to you.
wondering, too, if hopefully some of the replies are useful to you.
fini is offline  
Old 06-28-2019, 07:57 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 67
Originally Posted by Littlefunn94 View Post
Iím not even sure if Iím supposed to be here or if I consider myself an alcoholic. Iím in no way dependent on it. I drink maybe once a week, but when I do, I overdo it. Almost every single time. Iíve offended countless people, had several friendships dissolved and done things and said things I would never dream of doing when sober. I donít know how to say no to another drink, or go home when itís time. I have no limits and I want it to end. I just want to be able to drink like a normal person. Iím not ready to quit drinking alcohol completely. Iím just ready to not wake up the next day and several days after that with guilt and depression from the messes Iíve made and the people Iíve upset. I hope someone can possibly give me some advice who has been in this same or similar situation. Thank you.

I'm right there with you. A few months ago I did something horrible and stupid and said never again. But slowly, I started drinking again and did the same thing again. I would say that you're where I was about 10 years ago. I'd drink a bit and be fine, but more often I'd mess up. Then I'd stop for a while but sooner or later I'd be feeling like snot.

Eventually, I think most of us started drinking at home or away from others to avoid this.

But here is where you begin. With today and being sober. Don't worry about tomorrow but just today. All that matters is today and making that one key decision.......not to have even one!
needshelp111 is offline  
Old 06-30-2019, 10:35 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
DriGuy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 3,995
Originally Posted by Bird615 View Post

I used to think that even though I overdid it when I drank, I could quit anytime I wanted to--I just didn't want to.

It was an awful feeling when I got tired of the problems it was causing me and decided I should quit only to find out I couldn't.
Oh my, now that one resonates with me. Realizing I couldn't quit was worse than enduring the rest of the pain and misery. Looking back, I never quit until I finally realized I coudn't. That was a big insight that got me started looking for a solution. The idea of being controlled (addicted) by a chemical substance is truly disgusting to me. I do fine living with other alcoholics in society, but for me addiction is intolerable.
DriGuy is online now  
Old 06-30-2019, 10:56 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
DriGuy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 3,995
Originally Posted by Littlefunn94 View Post
Iím not ready to quit drinking alcohol completely. Iím just ready to not wake up the next day and several days after that with guilt and depression from the messes Iíve made and the people Iíve upset. I hope someone can possibly give me some advice who has been in this same or similar situation. Thank you.
You may be touching on something here that was part of my drinking toward the end. I didn't want to quit. I just wanted to get rid of the consequences. This seems like a normal desire, but think about it. The consequences come from drinking. If you're not going to quit, you must endure the consequences. I don't see how you can have one without the other.

I feel like I can be direct about this, because I went through the same thing without really facing the cause and effect relationship between drinking and adverse consequences. But there is most definitely an undeniable cause/effect relationship between the two.

I'm wishing you well. I hope you will find this forum to be a comfortable place to work your way through this problem.
DriGuy is online now  
Old 06-30-2019, 11:45 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by DriGuy View Post
You may be touching on something here that was part of my drinking toward the end. I didn't want to quit. I just wanted to get rid of the consequences. This seems like a normal desire, but think about it. The consequences come from drinking. If you're not going to quit, you must endure the consequences. I don't see how you can have one without the other.

I feel like I can be direct about this, because I went through the same thing without really facing the cause and effect relationship between drinking and adverse consequences. But there is most definitely an undeniable cause/effect relationship between the two.

I'm wishing you well. I hope you will find this forum to be a comfortable place to work your way through this problem.

That is how I felt for years. The problem was those unintended consequence never stopped. They continue. I just didn't know when I would cross that line and blow it.

It wasn't until I became sick and tired of being sick and tired that I considered stopping.
Ken33xx is offline  
Old 07-02-2019, 09:19 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
 
Gottalife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Thailand
Posts: 6,594
There was this book I read "Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. "

Control never came with enjoyment, and enjoyment never came with control.
Gottalife is offline  
Old 07-03-2019, 12:06 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Yeah I tried that moderation thing to it doesn't work for me I'm all in or nothing so I'm either going to drink or I'm not going to drink if I'm going to drink I am drinking to get drunk. And just like the other person mention consequences you don't think about consequences while you're getting booze but guess what the inevitable is and will happen the hangovers the what did I do last night syndrome on and on and on it starts to get old
SoberRican is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:49 PM.