Don’t know where to begin..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2
Don’t know where to begin..
I’m not even sure if I’m supposed to be here or if I consider myself an alcoholic. I’m in no way dependent on it. I drink maybe once a week, but when I do, I overdo it. Almost every single time. I’ve offended countless people, had several friendships dissolved and done things and said things I would never dream of doing when sober. I don’t know how to say no to another drink, or go home when it’s time. I have no limits and I want it to end. I just want to be able to drink like a normal person. I’m not ready to quit drinking alcohol completely. I’m just ready to not wake up the next day and several days after that with guilt and depression from the messes I’ve made and the people I’ve upset. I hope someone can possibly give me some advice who has been in this same or similar situation. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Binge drinking is pretty serious business.
If you are having the same problem over and over, it's something to take seriously...if drinking is causing a problem and you don't quit once you start - the solution is to not start, yeah?
Don't pick up that first drink! That's the answer we all came up with.
Welcome to the forums.
If you are having the same problem over and over, it's something to take seriously...if drinking is causing a problem and you don't quit once you start - the solution is to not start, yeah?
Don't pick up that first drink! That's the answer we all came up with.
Welcome to the forums.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
hi Lf,
most of us are here because we could not drink like a "normal" drinker and accepted that after many experiments.
so you will be unlikely to find folks here who have done it, though many of us have had that desperate desire to be a "normal" drinker.
you might check out Moderation Management's website.
most of us are here because we could not drink like a "normal" drinker and accepted that after many experiments.
so you will be unlikely to find folks here who have done it, though many of us have had that desperate desire to be a "normal" drinker.
you might check out Moderation Management's website.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
I think that most, if not all of us here have tried to moderate our drinking and failed. If you cannot stop drinking once you start, the simple solution is to not start. Alcoholics cannot control or moderate their drinking. It sounds like alcohol is causing problems in your life, so maybe consider that alcohol should not be in your life?
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Welcome, Littlefun!
I used to think that even though I overdid it when I drank, I could quit anytime I wanted to--I just didn't want to.
It was an awful feeling when I got tired of the problems it was causing me and decided I should quit only to find out I couldn't. There was always some reason or justification of why it was okay to drink again.
I tried every which way to control it so I wouldn't have to stop entirely and nothing ever worked for long.
After enough pain and misery of trying to hang on to it, I finally gave up trying and got help to stop completely. That's the only relief I've found.
I used to think that even though I overdid it when I drank, I could quit anytime I wanted to--I just didn't want to.
It was an awful feeling when I got tired of the problems it was causing me and decided I should quit only to find out I couldn't. There was always some reason or justification of why it was okay to drink again.
I tried every which way to control it so I wouldn't have to stop entirely and nothing ever worked for long.
After enough pain and misery of trying to hang on to it, I finally gave up trying and got help to stop completely. That's the only relief I've found.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Your post reminded me of something from the 1st edition of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" Littlefunn94
"We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic. If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic."
I hope you can successfully address the problem before disaster strikes. All the best to you.
"We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic. If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic."
I hope you can successfully address the problem before disaster strikes. All the best to you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Littlefunn94 
. I guess I don’t know how to stop or it’s not even possible at this time. I don’t know where or how’d I would begin.
then be willing to go to any lengths to make that happen.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 11
Can you control your drinking? THAT is the question. Do you have control over your drinking? If so you will only drink as often and as much as you intend. You are the only person that can know the answer to this. If you still have control over your drinking then you are not alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by Littlefunn94
I’m not even sure if I’m supposed to be here or if I consider myself an alcoholic. I’m in no way dependent on it. I drink maybe once a week, but when I do, I overdo it. Almost every single time. I’ve offended countless people, had several friendships dissolved and done things and said things I would never dream of doing when sober. I don’t know how to say no to another drink, or go home when it’s time. I have no limits and I want it to end. I just want to be able to drink like a normal person. I’m not ready to quit drinking alcohol completely. I’m just ready to not wake up the next day and several days after that with guilt and depression from the messes I’ve made and the people I’ve upset. I hope someone can possibly give me some advice who has been in this same or similar situation. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
hi Justme,
the post you responded to is pretty old, so you may not hear back from the original poster.
glad you’re here and welcome to you.
wondering, too, if hopefully some of the replies are useful to you.
the post you responded to is pretty old, so you may not hear back from the original poster.
glad you’re here and welcome to you.
wondering, too, if hopefully some of the replies are useful to you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 67
Originally Posted by Littlefunn94
I’m not even sure if I’m supposed to be here or if I consider myself an alcoholic. I’m in no way dependent on it. I drink maybe once a week, but when I do, I overdo it. Almost every single time. I’ve offended countless people, had several friendships dissolved and done things and said things I would never dream of doing when sober. I don’t know how to say no to another drink, or go home when it’s time. I have no limits and I want it to end. I just want to be able to drink like a normal person. I’m not ready to quit drinking alcohol completely. I’m just ready to not wake up the next day and several days after that with guilt and depression from the messes I’ve made and the people I’ve upset. I hope someone can possibly give me some advice who has been in this same or similar situation. Thank you.
I'm right there with you. A few months ago I did something horrible and stupid and said never again. But slowly, I started drinking again and did the same thing again. I would say that you're where I was about 10 years ago. I'd drink a bit and be fine, but more often I'd mess up. Then I'd stop for a while but sooner or later I'd be feeling like snot.
Eventually, I think most of us started drinking at home or away from others to avoid this.
But here is where you begin. With today and being sober. Don't worry about tomorrow but just today. All that matters is today and making that one key decision.......not to have even one!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,171
Originally Posted by Bird615
I used to think that even though I overdid it when I drank, I could quit anytime I wanted to--I just didn't want to.
It was an awful feeling when I got tired of the problems it was causing me and decided I should quit only to find out I couldn't.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,171
Originally Posted by Littlefunn94
I’m not ready to quit drinking alcohol completely. I’m just ready to not wake up the next day and several days after that with guilt and depression from the messes I’ve made and the people I’ve upset. I hope someone can possibly give me some advice who has been in this same or similar situation. Thank you.
I feel like I can be direct about this, because I went through the same thing without really facing the cause and effect relationship between drinking and adverse consequences. But there is most definitely an undeniable cause/effect relationship between the two.
I'm wishing you well. I hope you will find this forum to be a comfortable place to work your way through this problem.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by DriGuy
You may be touching on something here that was part of my drinking toward the end. I didn't want to quit. I just wanted to get rid of the consequences. This seems like a normal desire, but think about it. The consequences come from drinking. If you're not going to quit, you must endure the consequences. I don't see how you can have one without the other.
I feel like I can be direct about this, because I went through the same thing without really facing the cause and effect relationship between drinking and adverse consequences. But there is most definitely an undeniable cause/effect relationship between the two.
I'm wishing you well. I hope you will find this forum to be a comfortable place to work your way through this problem.
I feel like I can be direct about this, because I went through the same thing without really facing the cause and effect relationship between drinking and adverse consequences. But there is most definitely an undeniable cause/effect relationship between the two.
I'm wishing you well. I hope you will find this forum to be a comfortable place to work your way through this problem.
That is how I felt for years. The problem was those unintended consequence never stopped. They continue. I just didn't know when I would cross that line and blow it.
It wasn't until I became sick and tired of being sick and tired that I considered stopping.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
There was this book I read "Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. "
Control never came with enjoyment, and enjoyment never came with control.
Control never came with enjoyment, and enjoyment never came with control.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 1,614
Yeah I tried that moderation thing to it doesn't work for me I'm all in or nothing so I'm either going to drink or I'm not going to drink if I'm going to drink I am drinking to get drunk. And just like the other person mention consequences you don't think about consequences while you're getting booze but guess what the inevitable is and will happen the hangovers the what did I do last night syndrome on and on and on it starts to get old
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