Originally Posted by
Bird615 
I used to think that even though I overdid it when I drank, I could quit anytime I wanted to--I just didn't want to.
It was an awful feeling when I got tired of the problems it was causing me and decided I should quit only to find out I couldn't.
Oh my, now that one resonates with me. Realizing I couldn't quit was worse than enduring the rest of the pain and misery. Looking back, I never quit until I finally realized I coudn't. That was a big insight that got me started looking for a solution. The idea of being controlled (addicted) by a chemical substance is truly disgusting to me. I do fine living with other alcoholics in society, but for me addiction is intolerable.