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How long to stabilise on methadone?

Old 06-26-2022, 05:29 PM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
Gosh, but heroin WILL kill you. It's just a matter of when. Rich, poor, it all ends the same way.

My next door neighbor died with a needle in his arm. 32 years old.
Without going into much detail - I know "people" and get 100% pure every time. THere's no fent here as H costs so much. I also only use nasally and don't aim for a nod, just the antidepessant feeling.

I worked every day for 7 years high as a kite and was constantly given employee of the month.

I'm not saying it's good - it's not - but death is not on my horizon. I also don't fear death. Eternally peace sounds better than drug addiction. Anyway, this is a harm reduction form and I have said too much.
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Old 06-26-2022, 05:33 PM
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This is not a harm reduction site, though. It's about sobriety. Full stop.

You get 100% pure until that one time you don't - I wouldn't trust illegal drug dealers at all. Hope you find your way out.

Keep talking to us...
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Old 06-26-2022, 05:39 PM
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Hi Jim
I touched on this before but I didn't see a reply.

If you think your family's not affected by your heroin use you're fooling yourself.
If you think you're a world beater on Heroin, you're fooling yourself.

I'm not here to **** you off or argue - I just know that adamant denial... cos I had it too.
We all did.

D
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Old 06-26-2022, 05:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Hi Jim
I touched on this before but I didn't see a reply.

If you think your family's not affected by your heroin use you're fooling yourself.
If you think you're a world beater on Heroin, you're fooling yourself.

I'm not here to **** you off or argue - I just know that adamant denial... cos I had it too.
We all did.

D
It affects the family for sure. I've been given a $100k a year budget for it from my wife. It just feels a waste and I know I need to stop.

Te only point i was debating is the inherent danger which is pretty low. I don't know "dealers". I have connects. I get the stuff still wrapped from the boat.

Anyway - I am not convincing anyone to take heroin. I am trying to stop. Telling me it will kill me isn't a good argument though as you just have to trust that what I get is 100% pure (well, as pure as FOB gets).
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Old 06-26-2022, 05:49 PM
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There are worse things than dying IMO. I lost a lot of things I held dear in my addiction years.
I had a handle on things for years...til suddenly I didn't.

D
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Old 06-26-2022, 05:52 PM
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I'm in a sick and confused position at the moment. I'm not trying to **** anyone off I'm just letting my feelings out. If I let them out to my wife she says "Just go buy it then I don't mind".

I need to hear from people who know how I am feeling.

Sorry if I have upset anyone - this is just the raw me.
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Old 06-26-2022, 06:05 PM
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You haven't upset me Jim.
This is not my first day here, lol

D
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Old 06-26-2022, 06:13 PM
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Originally Posted by slimjim30 View Post
I'm in a sick and confused position at the moment. I'm not trying to **** anyone off I'm just letting my feelings out. If I let them out to my wife she says "Just go buy it then I don't mind".

I need to hear from people who know how I am feeling.

Sorry if I have upset anyone - this is just the raw me.
What's worse than dying?

Also - I am a weird egg. I value most things more than my life. If I die, I die. If things get bad, I hasten that process. This I've also discussed with my family and wife - it's not a secret.

I don't want to die due to addiction. I want to die due to mental health issues. I have had them since 4. THe 7 years on H cured all my ailments. I'm off it now and I think about death a lot more.

I have a son and wouldn't do it until he's 18 - I just don't put the same value on life as a "normal person".

P.S. I am not suicidal - I am just comforted by the fact that if everything gets too hard it can all be over in about 2 minutes with a few grams of "won't say here".
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Old 06-26-2022, 06:18 PM
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What was worse than dying for me was losing the relationships I held dear, the self respect I had, and the respect I had from others.

I lost my career, and I lost hope.

I ended up the stinky guy who hung out outside the bottlo who looked homeless and mothers shooed their kids away from.

I'm not looking forward to dying but I've nearly died a few times so it doesn't hold much fear for me either...but going back to addiction still scares me.

That was worse than dying for me - I was dying on the inside.
D
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Old 06-26-2022, 06:31 PM
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How does one end up drinking all day though? I drank HEAVILY but got up, showered, went to work, raised a family, saw my parents etc. I felt hungover but never once in 16 years did I consider "hair of the dog". That just sounds brutal and pointless (no offence).
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Old 06-26-2022, 06:34 PM
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This might be a moot point as I do not and will not ever drink again. TBH it disgusts me. The taste, the feeling etc.

I tried a cigarette yesterday after 16 years and vomited - so they're off the cards too.

Opiates are another beast entirely.
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Old 06-26-2022, 06:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
What was worse than dying for me was losing the relationships I held dear, the self respect I had, and the respect I had from others.

I lost my career, and I lost hope.

I ended up the stinky guy who hung out outside the bottlo who looked homeless and mothers shooed their kids away from.

I'm not looking forward to dying but I've nearly died a few times so it doesn't hold much fear for me either...but going back to addiction still scares me.

That was worse than dying for me - I was dying on the inside.
D
I never knew this much of your story and I'm really sorry to hear it. I've seen many people like you and to be honest I was the guy that'd go in and buy you a cask after you were refused. My friends called it enabling, I called it saving someone from DT / robbery / shame.

I usually get my son to give them $10 or $20. "There but for the grace of *** go I"

Hope I did the right thing.
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Old 06-26-2022, 07:07 PM
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How does one end up drinking all day though?
I drank heavily for years, but always got up for the day job etc.
Then I had some health problems (not drink related), retired from the day job, went back to Uni but had to give that up too...and I had a growing amount of free time as I lost jobs etc (I was also a musician) and an ever growing reliance on the buzz.

The hair of the dog was necessary for me to find the wherewithal to get out of bed.

I certainly didn't plan to be an all day every day drinker but that's what I got.
The more I relied on the drink the less self will I had to exert.

Originally Posted by slimjim30 View Post
I never knew this much of your story and I'm really sorry to hear it. I've seen many people like you and to be honest I was the guy that'd go in and buy you a cask after you were refused. My friends called it enabling, I called it saving someone from DT / robbery / shame.

I usually get my son to give them $10 or $20. "There but for the grace of *** go I"

Hope I did the right thing.
I still don't know what the right thing is man. I don't know that the price of a cask is going to make much difference to a long term alcoholic, one way or the other.

Its good you cared enough to intervene.

If I find myself in that situation today I'll buy them a pie, have a chat.

D
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Old 06-26-2022, 07:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I drank heavily for years, but always got up for the day job etc.
Then I had some health problems (not drink related), retired from the day job, went back to Uni but had to give that up too...and I had a growing amount of free time as I lost jobs etc (I was also a musician) and an ever growing reliance on the buzz.

The hair of the dog was necessary for me to find the wherewithal to get out of bed.

I certainly didn't plan to be an all day every day drinker but that's what I got.
The more I relied on the drink the less self will I had to exert.

D
Can I ask a personal question? Did you take other drugs too, or just alcohol?
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Old 06-26-2022, 07:13 PM
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I did weed. A lot of weed and smokes.

Tried other things like meth and acid but they didn't agree with me.
Somehow even at my addled worst I never went the cocaine or heroin route - I saw too many others who did.

D
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Old 06-26-2022, 07:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I did weed. A lot of weed and smokes.

Tried other things like meth and acid but they didn't agree with me.
Somehow even at my addled worst I never went the cocaine or heroin route - I saw too many others who did.

D
Good choice man. You sound like me. Uppers and psychs mess with my head (coke did too). Heroin would've dragged you into the pits of hell and love (concurrently).

Thanks for your honesty.
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Old 06-27-2022, 05:38 AM
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There is a reason why you want to quit then. What is it? Obviously it's not money or fear of losing a job, your wife or your life.

You have a belief that it solves all your problems. So...what's the problem?

I couldn't see it until I got away from all of it. I wasn't worried about money or dying or losing a job or family, either, but I was an empty miserable shell of a human being. I found no joy anywhere outside of getting high. I believed - truly believed - I needed it to function in this world; to check out from all the craziness. I disliked everyone. I thought I knew it all. I was angry, confrontational, resentful, and self-pitying. I felt I was too sensitive, too aware. Honestly I was all those things, I created them by applying an unnatural substance to my brain. Years of substances, lots of them - including an ever-increasing variety of pharmaceuticals. I never abused my prescriptions either, but they were part of the problem.


I hope you'll find a "why."
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Old 06-28-2022, 09:13 PM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
There is a reason why you want to quit then. What is it? Obviously it's not money or fear of losing a job, your wife or your life.

You have a belief that it solves all your problems. So...what's the problem?

I couldn't see it until I got away from all of it. I wasn't worried about money or dying or losing a job or family, either, but I was an empty miserable shell of a human being. I found no joy anywhere outside of getting high. I believed - truly believed - I needed it to function in this world; to check out from all the craziness. I disliked everyone. I thought I knew it all. I was angry, confrontational, resentful, and self-pitying. I felt I was too sensitive, too aware. Honestly I was all those things, I created them by applying an unnatural substance to my brain. Years of substances, lots of them - including an ever-increasing variety of pharmaceuticals. I never abused my prescriptions either, but they were part of the problem.


I hope you'll find a "why."
It's 100% money. While I can afford it - it's SUCH A WASTE OF MONEY. 100k is a lot per year to budget for a drug. I also fear getting a criminal record if I ever get caught.

I'm back on day 5 of methadone so here goes again.
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Old 06-29-2022, 06:16 PM
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Day 6 of methadone - and it sucks. So much anxiety again. I know it'll go away but that can't happen fast enough.
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Old 06-29-2022, 06:52 PM
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Stick with it Jim

D
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