Originally Posted by
slimjim30 
I'm in a sick and confused position at the moment. I'm not trying to **** anyone off I'm just letting my feelings out. If I let them out to my wife she says "Just go buy it then I don't mind".
I need to hear from people who know how I am feeling.
Sorry if I have upset anyone - this is just the raw me.
What's worse than dying?
Also - I am a weird egg. I value most things more than my life. If I die, I die. If things get bad, I hasten that process. This I've also discussed with my family and wife - it's not a secret.
I don't want to die due to addiction. I want to die due to mental health issues. I have had them since 4. THe 7 years on H cured all my ailments. I'm off it now and I think about death a lot more.
I have a son and wouldn't do it until he's 18 - I just don't put the same value on life as a "normal person".
P.S. I am not suicidal - I am just comforted by the fact that if everything gets too hard it can all be over in about 2 minutes with a few grams of "won't say here".