The Paradox of Embracing Total Abstinence
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,364
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
...and it doesn't depend on other people.
Happiness (and sobriety) is an Inside Job.
No one can do it for me.
"God, help me to fully understand that my problems are all of my own making. Therefore, so are the solutions."
~quoted from...somewhere.
Happiness (and sobriety) is an Inside Job.
No one can do it for me.
"God, help me to fully understand that my problems are all of my own making. Therefore, so are the solutions."
~quoted from...somewhere.
https://wanderlust.com/journal/the-t...ain-suffering/
Member
Join Date: May 2022
Location: California
Posts: 355
The idea of total and complete abstinence from alcohol for the rest of my life is becoming easier to accept as I inch towards 1 year of sobriety. The thought of drinking after all of this money that Ive spent on recovery, the buckets of tears, the agony of accepting I destroyed my life and everyone I loved, brings me to my knees. I'm just barely getting to taste the joys of living the sober life and I'm doing my best to protect it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,189
Originally Posted by Farrier
The idea of total and complete abstinence from alcohol for the rest of my life is becoming easier to accept as I inch towards 1 year of sobriety. The thought of drinking after all of this money that Ive spent on recovery, the buckets of tears, the agony of accepting I destroyed my life and everyone I loved, brings me to my knees. I'm just barely getting to taste the joys of living the sober life and I'm doing my best to protect it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 104
Very insightful OP and thread.
Looking back, fully believing that moderation was doomed was they key that unlocked the prison. But it took 20 years and the gift of despration to get it, perhaps because it was so counteriniutuive. Alcohol was the most important thing in my life apart from my family, and when the misery it caused became unbearable I had to make the choice.
When I was 30 I thought it impossible to live without drinking alcohol - now 60, and 27 years free of it, I know the reverse to be true.
Looking back, fully believing that moderation was doomed was they key that unlocked the prison. But it took 20 years and the gift of despration to get it, perhaps because it was so counteriniutuive. Alcohol was the most important thing in my life apart from my family, and when the misery it caused became unbearable I had to make the choice.
When I was 30 I thought it impossible to live without drinking alcohol - now 60, and 27 years free of it, I know the reverse to be true.
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Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 652
Originally Posted by Andante
It blows my mind to hear that in this day and age, any so-called "professional" can possibly recommend tapering as a sound method for quitting drinking when to do so betrays a total ignorance of what addiction is.
Would they tell compulsive gamblers to gradually cut down on the amount they bet or the number of bets they make? SMH...
Would they tell compulsive gamblers to gradually cut down on the amount they bet or the number of bets they make? SMH...
Originally Posted by Radix
"Would they tell compulsive gamblers to gradually cut down on the amount they bet or the number of bets they make?"
This is great.
I also agree that abstinence is easier than moderation.
In my own experience, to be perfectly honest, when I thought about how nice it would be to "moderate" my drinking, what I really meant was how nice it would be to keep drinking to the same point of drunkenness only without the negative consequences. ...and of course that's why it never worked.
This is great.
I also agree that abstinence is easier than moderation.
In my own experience, to be perfectly honest, when I thought about how nice it would be to "moderate" my drinking, what I really meant was how nice it would be to keep drinking to the same point of drunkenness only without the negative consequences. ...and of course that's why it never worked.
Originally Posted by NessunDorma
Very insightful OP and thread.
Looking back, fully believing that moderation was doomed was they key that unlocked the prison. But it took 20 years and the gift of despration to get it, perhaps because it was so counteriniutuive. Alcohol was the most important thing in my life apart from my family, and when the misery it caused became unbearable I had to make the choice.
When I was 30 I thought it impossible to live without drinking alcohol - now 60, and 27 years free of it, I know the reverse to be true.
Looking back, fully believing that moderation was doomed was they key that unlocked the prison. But it took 20 years and the gift of despration to get it, perhaps because it was so counteriniutuive. Alcohol was the most important thing in my life apart from my family, and when the misery it caused became unbearable I had to make the choice.
When I was 30 I thought it impossible to live without drinking alcohol - now 60, and 27 years free of it, I know the reverse to be true.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
Great post DriGuy.
I think there’s another way to look at it. Maybe the peak of the mountain is. It sobriety, but an alcohol free life.
Total abstinence is the first and necessary step, and if one can really set their mind to it the simplest (took me 6 years to set my mind to that, so it s simple but not easy).
It’s then about rediscovering or reinventing ourselves, which takes time and is often more complicated.
Either way I agree total abstinence the only choice. I don’t know anyone who has been able to moderate. Ever.
I think there’s another way to look at it. Maybe the peak of the mountain is. It sobriety, but an alcohol free life.
Total abstinence is the first and necessary step, and if one can really set their mind to it the simplest (took me 6 years to set my mind to that, so it s simple but not easy).
It’s then about rediscovering or reinventing ourselves, which takes time and is often more complicated.
Either way I agree total abstinence the only choice. I don’t know anyone who has been able to moderate. Ever.
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