Very insightful OP and thread.
Looking back, fully believing that moderation was doomed was they key that unlocked the prison. But it took 20 years and the gift of despration to get it, perhaps because it was so counteriniutuive. Alcohol was the most important thing in my life apart from my family, and when the misery it caused became unbearable I had to make the choice.
When I was 30 I thought it impossible to live without drinking alcohol - now 60, and 27 years free of it, I know the reverse to be true.