The idea of total and complete abstinence from alcohol for the rest of my life is becoming easier to accept as I inch towards 1 year of sobriety. The thought of drinking after all of this money that Ive spent on recovery, the buckets of tears, the agony of accepting I destroyed my life and everyone I loved, brings me to my knees. I'm just barely getting to taste the joys of living the sober life and I'm doing my best to protect it.