RAL

It's the dream of any and every problem drinker to want to moderate. But we cant.

But we all think we will be able to next time. Because we are a special case . A rare case. Think it's called terminal uniqueness.

We are not different though. it's pretty simple. If we have a drinking problem no amount of trying g to moderate will work.

You admit you want to carry on drinking and your dr has said that's ok. Honestly I think he should be struck off. It's unbelievable that a dr who has an alcoholic patient tells them to keep drinking for their social life.

Of course carrying on until under strict medical detox is different.

Unless and until you commit to sobriety and realise moderation does not work as its never worked before nothing will change.

Magnolia123

The thing is a MENTAL HEALTH condition cannot be properly diagnosed while under the influence or withdrawing.

The symptoms can mimic too many mental health conditions.

Symptoms that disappear when free of alcohol.

I believe this is what the OP was referring to, though s/he can correct me if I'm wrong.

Ringside

It seems you are going to great lengths to protect your drinking, which many of us have done. As they say, keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. I was in need of a fundamental reset concerning how I understood my drinking, and then concerning how I lived my life. It’s a big undertaking and one that takes complete willingness and open-mindedness. Some find it sooner on the way down than others. Good luck to you on whatever path you choose.

RubyBruce

Thank you for your reply but no that is not the case at all.

It is about managing my mental suicidal issues, which are separate to my drinking, hence the plan created.

I know you mean the best, but that is simply wrong as sobriety is what is intended, but we have reached a plan to get me there.

Have you been suicidal sober before? It is pure hell I assure you.

If not, it's best not to comment on that as Psych have to take into account many issues, my drinking is just one of them unlike many I might suggest.

.I sort of feel like i'm being persecuted in this thread just for being honest. Did I say it is the right solution? Do I know what is best? Do I know what will happen tomorrow? No to all. However the plan is unique to me and my issues and I would like to try it.

But I do thank everyone for all your posts and guidance, not everyone will agree but I know it all comes from the same place which is kindness and support.

RB

Steely

I thought you might feel a bit 'persecuted' Ruby, and have been meaning to reply for a while now.

I can understand the strategy of "getting you there" with ultimate goal being abstinence. I can remember going through similar with my own psychiatrist. It didn't work. I'd commit to having 2 drinks, and the plan would go out the window, eventually.

Just my experience Ruby. The experience of many here. Not in a million years would I want to interfere with a plan developed between you and your psychiatrist, we learn as we go, is what I have found.

I wish you the best Ruby, and now, at 2.5 years sober can say to you in all honesty that sobriety is not the life of deprivation and sacrifice you might imagine. It has been for me a much better life. No longer falling off ferries, and all other trauma injuries I sustained during my career. No longer the mental anguish. And yes, I've had suicidal ideation too.

Again, I wish you the very best Ruby. Also like you to know that people here have suffered, endured, similar experiences to your own, to a greater or lesser degree, but have learned over time that abstinence from alcohol really was the only solution. The best solution.

Out of interest, does the strategy you have in mind work out of limiting the amount of drinks you consume based on 'safe levels'? Women 2 standard drinks a day, with alcohol free days in between?

Best wishes Ruby.

RubyBruce

Hi Steely.
Everything you say I completely agree with - thing is is it is unsafe for me to be sober and it's equally unsafe for me to be inebriated.

That is why it is not just an alcohol issue, it is a wider issue so this whole "stop drinking and you'll be fine" simply doesn't work with me.

I am sure you are correct in time, but I don't control the advice given to me, I just give honest answers and let them decide what is best. What else can I do?

Moderation is to a strategy used to make sure a person maintains their current mental health, with the goal of sobriety once the other issues have resolved or at least calmed down.

This is a alcohol forum not a suicide forum, and it is clear to me that many here don't understand the difference as my suicidal thought led me to drinking, not the other way around. (either way I agree it's not ideal)

Yes I feel like I have been open and been hammered on my Psych is an idiot, I am not really trying to stop etc, bit hurtful actually but then I know it's all from people with greater experience than me so I welcome it even if I find it disappointing that i'm simply following professional advice and still wrong.

Seems i'm wrong all the time hey!

Thanks mate.

Chris

.

RubyBruce

Hi Steely.
Thank you for you reply.
I assure you I have done everything i can to get the professional advice I need.

It should be noted I was suicidal before I started drinking, not after, so it isn't as simple as stop drinking and you will be fine etc.

Many here have far more experience than me, all of which I welcome, but the hammering of my Psych and having to be sober is a but overbearing when in the circumstances it simply isn't an option.

You are a positive story and outcome, I however don't believe one size fits all and with my PTSD and other issues just "stop drinking" is great in theory, it simply isn't reality. In fact the hospital team said it's far too dangerous for that to happen immediately.

I know everyone here means the best and I thank everyone for their input, even if I feel not quite right compared to my circumstances.

Thanks mate,

Chris

biminiblue

Well, I think if you start a thread on a sobriety forum that says:
it's likely that sober alcoholics are going to chime in with what-works-for-them.

I'm reading, "Terminally Unique." Yeah, me too. MY PROBLEMS meant I HAD TO drink. There was no choice. I absolutely-positively-no-way could deal with life without alcohol.

That thinking kept me sick.

Doctors and therapists are not the answer, either. They cannot make me stop using my own hand to pour alcohol into my own mouth. Sure, they'll continue to tell me what I want to hear if it means I keep going back to them and that they can still fix me. Any doctor who has not been suicidal themselves and who is not an alcoholic in recovery is really of no use to me. Believe me, enough of them had a shot at helping me. They just kept me sick. They gave me pills, they talked about stuff they didn't understand and they were - in the end - Zero Help.

It sounds to me like they are waiting for you to come to your own conclusion. That's sound psychiatry, but deadly for alcoholics. You can make the choice today. You can stop drinking today.

I got better when I stopped using. I also had to deal with all the things about me that made life difficult and made me feel like I was so victimized and so helpless. I wasn't/I'm not helpless. I am the Captain Of This Ship.

Good luck RubyBruce.

Anna

RubyBruce, you can make use of the Ignore Function anytime you want to so you won't have to see posts you don't want to see. However, in this case, I think all the members here disagree with your approach and that's unlikely to change. As I told you yesterday, this is an abstinence board.

Andante

^ I love when I'm groping around amongst the word fog, trying to formulate a post, and someone comes along to say exactly what I'd been thinking, only a lot better than I could ever say it!

It's hard for every alcoholic to face the truth. In fact, the notion that your case is somehow "special" or doesn't fit the "one size fits all" mold is so common, it even has a name (thank you, biminiblue): "terminal uniqueness," meaning that many an alcoholic has pursued their "unique" status all the way until they died from it.

The bottom line is that you have a brain that is essentially like every other brain here in that it has become habituated to alcohol. The only way to break that dependency is to stop drinking it.

Oh, and someone earlier brought up the issue of acute withdrawal, which is a legitimate concern for those drinking continually over a long period, but that has nothing to do with trying to "moderate" and I don't think that's what we're talking about here.

nez

This was me at one time. I believe many others on here can second that as well.

This was true for me as well. Alcohol was but a symptom of a much larger issue. The larger issues led me to drinking as a solution. Needless to say that logic was flawed. Just stopping drinking did fix that issue, but I wasn’t fine because that fix but did nothing to impact the larger issues. I believe many others on here can second the not just an alcohol issue as well.

This is not meant to be snarky, it is asked in a sincere attempt to help…how would you rate your current mental health… and do you think a slow approach to change is the way to go,… or would measures that might get you out of your comfort zone but yield more rapid changes be the way to go,…and why?

Take a more active role in being your own advocate. Ask questions. Question their advice. Bring up solutions that you may not be onboard with and get their feedback. Be open but questioning of experience, both professional and from those who have been in the trenches. Don't listen to your head/ego, listen to your soul.

nez

For a lot of years, I used that approach when it came to life; except I called it beer.

Steely

As soon as I saw you sign off with 'mate' I realised you must come from Australia Ruby. G'day.

For me, it was not so much the case my psychiatrist recommending moderation, but me telling him it was the only road I was going to take, and the poor b.....d had to comply. I gave him no option.

He was a good bloke, and wanted me to get well, so he hung in until I saw for myself. He could never have made me stop. That was up to me. And miracle of miracles, I did.

I hope you 'see' before there are no more lessons to be learned Ruby, it can become too late for the learning. I hope the the underpinnings to your drinking are resolved before that time, and you no longer having to exit stage left with the grog.

Sobriety is a much better life Ruby. I hope you don't leave it too late.

And I hope you're sober today. Give it a crack. Nothing to lose but the wheelchair.

Dee74

Thread closed.

Dee
Administrator
SR