I thought you might feel a bit 'persecuted' Ruby, and have been meaning to reply for a while now.
I can understand the strategy of "getting you there" with ultimate goal being abstinence. I can remember going through similar with my own psychiatrist. It didn't work. I'd commit to having 2 drinks, and the plan would go out the window, eventually.
Just my experience Ruby. The experience of many here. Not in a million years would I want to interfere with a plan developed between you and your psychiatrist, we learn as we go, is what I have found.
I wish you the best Ruby, and now, at 2.5 years sober can say to you in all honesty that sobriety is not the life of deprivation and sacrifice you might imagine. It has been for me a much better life. No longer falling off ferries, and all other trauma injuries I sustained during my career. No longer the mental anguish. And yes, I've had suicidal ideation too.
Again, I wish you the very best Ruby. Also like you to know that people here have suffered, endured, similar experiences to your own, to a greater or lesser degree, but have learned over time that abstinence from alcohol really was the only solution. The best solution.
Out of interest, does the strategy you have in mind work out of limiting the amount of drinks you consume based on 'safe levels'? Women 2 standard drinks a day, with alcohol free days in between?
Best wishes Ruby.