Hodd

Sorry, calm. It looks like we’re all ganging up on you here. You’ve so done the right thing in questioning this event instead of just going along and winging it. My example above of the airport should show that you’ll be triggered like mad surrounded by all the booze and boozers even if you don’t realise it right now. Whatever happens, it’s time to think what’s best for you and the rest of your life. Just remember none of us have won the battle against alcohol, we just avoid it.

Leshar

Hi CS, I don't have much to add to the already excellent advice given. I do remember you noting that you had laser focus clarity in sobriety as you applied for a new position. Do you want to lose that? Best wishes.

calmself

Thanks all for the great thoughts! I agree it is definitely a risk. I will keep you guys posted.

RAL

Thinking of you cs. Have you decided what to do

DriGuy

You've got something like 5 months of sobriety into recovery. While congratulations are in order, it's not what I call a lot of time. And "it is definitely a RISK" situation. At 5 months I considered myself vulnerable, and I think that's true for all of us. It's the time when many of us fail. Somewhere around that 5 months, I did have the closest call with my AV that I ever had, where drinking made sense to me for a few seconds. When I collected my thoughts, it scared me enough to make me physically shudder. How reasonable drinking seemed for that moment. All it would take was one innocent slip in the time span of that one short moment, thinking one drink wouldn't hurt. Down the rabbit hole I would have gone. Five months of recovery turned upside down in a span of 2 minutes.

For many of, probably most of us, 5 months of sobriety is the part of recovery where we are walking on the edge. We have good intentions, but what's that saying? "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions," and that is especially profound for us alcoholics. We are still babes on this new path we decided to follow. We are one drink away from making the biggest mistake of our lives.

calmself

RAL, I checked with my manager as well as my director today and they did not like the question if I can skip one bit. In fact they started kinda probing as to what the issue was that will prevent me from attending since senior leaders will be coming in. Long story short, I must go. Exit plan and a firm resolve is what I am hoping on.

calmself

100% agree with you, it's a big risk.

Dee74

Nah. They may not like it but so what? You want to get out of your current job anyway.
This corporate peer pressure is nonsense.

If you were ill, you couldn't go, right?
You're recovering from a major illness, right now - and relapse is unwelcome but still a possibility.

I think it would be a mistake for you to go - I bet your inner addict is trying hard to negotiate just 'one drink' 'for the team' right now.

I took a night off my recovery once in 2004...didn't stop drinking again til 2007.

In 3 months noone will remember whether you went to this thing or not...but it would be terrible if you were back to drinking.

The stakes are really high, CS.

if you do go - read this
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...val-guide.html (Social Occasion Survival Guide)

calmself

Understand the stakes are high. Will keep that in mind. That's a great article with awesome suggestions. Thanks for sharing, Dee!!!

fishkiller

All I got is Just Don't Drink. No Matter What.

If you do you will regret it Big Time. I promise you that. Are you willing to lower your quality of life for a bunch of drunken goofballs? Because you might look bad?? To who? People who could give a **** less about you in the real world? Folks who will forget your name when you are gone? I sure hope you don't but again it is your choice.
I hope you make the right one.

Surrendered19

Hi CS. If you must go today, remember one of the main things that I learned in sobriety: nobody really notices and nobody really cares what you are drinking. Go up to the bar, get a tonic water with lime in it, and walk around and do the corporate mingle thing. You might even be surprised how much you enjoy things like that sober. I never thought I could or would, but such occasions for me now are far more pleasurable than they ever were when I was walking around drunk.

And still today, nobody notices and nobody cares what I drink or don't drink. That still is surprising to me and that still makes me so happy.

fishkiller

I agree with surrendered. I enjoy functions Way more sober. If I don't I leave. Just watch all the drunks change as time goes on. Then thank heaven you are not one of them acting the fool and slurring your words.

Hodd

I’d also be willing to bet there’ll be others who don’t drink. They might have plans later or have chosen not to drink. I’m still struggling to believe that everyone in this office (in 2022) will be drinking heavily this lunchtime.

calmself

Surrendered, I will follow your instructions. Will do the corporate mingle with a lime seltzer. Anxious..
Folks, I will report back after the event. Wish me luck. This is even more tense than complex system design interviews at Google.

Robbie64

^
all the best calmself and at least enjoy the free food!

calmself

Thank you Robbie! Will do.

RAL

Hope it's going ok CS. Thinking of you, as I'm sure many of us are. Keep SR close to you

calmself

Thanks you, RAL. Safely out. Didn't touch a drop of alcohol!! Here s the scoop:

Went in a bit late around 1.30. Folks had already started the drinks tab. When the waitress came around I asked for a lime soda. Then socialized stone cold sober. It was not as bad as I thought but I felt very self conscious. Then had another O Doull NA beer, corn bread, Mac n cheese, salad, played few games to stay away from the crowd and came out saying I have to pick my daughter at 4.

Folks told me I look much slimmer. No one.... no one asked me why I wasn't drinking. One guy commented that O Doul is a good choice. And that's it. I feel so good now and much more confident than before. Only thing is they are all there and saw more drinks being ordered as I left. Anyways, back home safe and sound. Will have coffee and go to the gym. Thank you all.

calmself

All of you guys strong advice helped me a ton as your comments were running in my mind and made me very very resolute not to even think about it. As I said I was very self conscious . Ok I guess no issues, I didn't appear nervous I think.

Robbie64

Well done calmself At least it's all over with now.