Adrenaline!!! So glad I’m sober!!!
Yield beautiful changes
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: A home filled with love
Posts: 1,699
Adrenaline!!! So glad I’m sober!!!
32 days sober today! Crazy night!
Let me start with: I’m an addict with a seizure disorder. I’ve never been in legal trouble, but my substance abuse definitely increased the frequency and severity of my seizures. (Shaking my head with shame and disappointment as I type this). Anyhow - my last seizure was at the beginning of October, and though my license was never revoked, I was told by my neurologist not to drive for 6 months while we ensured my seizures were under control. If I were to drive and have any type of accident during that 6 month window would be morally and financially responsible for the damage,
Reaching bottom a little over a month ago, I’ve been attending AA everyday to support my sobriety. But the self-sufficient perfectionist in me chafes at needing to ask for a ride/help everyday. It’s hard to ask others to help! It’s hard to ask my kid to sacrifice his Saturday night plans in order to drive me to a meeting.
My husband went out of town for work this weekend, and I was initially planning on going with him. However…I realized Thursday night that my meeting schedule precluded my weekend travel. My teenage son volunteered to drive me and keep an eye on his 7 year-old brother through my meeting. So, hubby travelled and the boys and I stayed put.
After my meeting, someone ran through a stop sign and collided with the front, passenger side of our vehicle. My family and the other driver were uninjured, but it was LOUD and nearly scared us to death!!!! My little one was shaking from the adrenaline.
All of this to say: I was terrified and initially nervous with the police sirens, but I was SO grateful to be sober!!! I was SO grateful that I had followed the “no-driving” recommendations of my doctor to the letter (even though it is inconvenient for friends and family). It was wonderful to have my wits about me in the moment, and I was proud to have done nothing wrong or illegal. A clean conscience is an awesome reward!
Thanks for listening to my thoughts!
-TC
Let me start with: I’m an addict with a seizure disorder. I’ve never been in legal trouble, but my substance abuse definitely increased the frequency and severity of my seizures. (Shaking my head with shame and disappointment as I type this). Anyhow - my last seizure was at the beginning of October, and though my license was never revoked, I was told by my neurologist not to drive for 6 months while we ensured my seizures were under control. If I were to drive and have any type of accident during that 6 month window would be morally and financially responsible for the damage,
Reaching bottom a little over a month ago, I’ve been attending AA everyday to support my sobriety. But the self-sufficient perfectionist in me chafes at needing to ask for a ride/help everyday. It’s hard to ask others to help! It’s hard to ask my kid to sacrifice his Saturday night plans in order to drive me to a meeting.
My husband went out of town for work this weekend, and I was initially planning on going with him. However…I realized Thursday night that my meeting schedule precluded my weekend travel. My teenage son volunteered to drive me and keep an eye on his 7 year-old brother through my meeting. So, hubby travelled and the boys and I stayed put.
After my meeting, someone ran through a stop sign and collided with the front, passenger side of our vehicle. My family and the other driver were uninjured, but it was LOUD and nearly scared us to death!!!! My little one was shaking from the adrenaline.
All of this to say: I was terrified and initially nervous with the police sirens, but I was SO grateful to be sober!!! I was SO grateful that I had followed the “no-driving” recommendations of my doctor to the letter (even though it is inconvenient for friends and family). It was wonderful to have my wits about me in the moment, and I was proud to have done nothing wrong or illegal. A clean conscience is an awesome reward!
Thanks for listening to my thoughts!
-TC
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Great stuff TC!!! One of the things I love the most about sobriety is being able to rock'n'roll 24-7 if the need arises. I never worry about being behind the wheel of a car anymore and if my mischievous teen daughter and her friends need me to come running at 3 a.m., I'm up and at 'em in 2 minutes.
As you say, the clean conscience that comes with sobriety is its own reward.
As you say, the clean conscience that comes with sobriety is its own reward.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
TC, this is a great post. And, your recovery is showing because you chose to do the right thing. Of course, you weren't expecting an accident (thank goodness everyone is safe) but you chose to do the right thing.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
I can relate to a bunch of your share.
Great decisions. So many of us addicts end up making the wrong decisions that end up messing us up or worse.
I always must remember I will crave for life and that the crave will morph (bob and weave).
I appreciate being super clean each morning and as the day progresses.
I have decades and decades of waking up super hungover and dealing with the day dope sick and craving.
Thanks to SR for getting me educated on addiction. Booze/drugs are no mystery. It is science.
Time and suffering as what is left of our minds and body adjust. That becomes our new stable and normal.
Eventually, we thrive. No miracle. It is search for happiness, contentment, endorphins etc.
That is all.
Thanks.
Great decisions. So many of us addicts end up making the wrong decisions that end up messing us up or worse.
I always must remember I will crave for life and that the crave will morph (bob and weave).
I appreciate being super clean each morning and as the day progresses.
I have decades and decades of waking up super hungover and dealing with the day dope sick and craving.
Thanks to SR for getting me educated on addiction. Booze/drugs are no mystery. It is science.
Time and suffering as what is left of our minds and body adjust. That becomes our new stable and normal.
Eventually, we thrive. No miracle. It is search for happiness, contentment, endorphins etc.
That is all.
Thanks.
Yield beautiful changes
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: A home filled with love
Posts: 1,699
Thanks for the support, everyone!
As an interesting side note, the sheriff who worked our accident wasn’t sure if our vehicle could make it safely home, so he had me start calling friends to see about coming to get us. My husband was out of town, as was my best friend, so I called another good friend to see if she could help.
She told me that there was no way she could safely drive - her husband was traveling for work and she’d just had 4 glasses of wine after she put her kids to bed. 😮
I’m not saying that she has a drinking problem, but last night she definitely didn’t have a solution!!! Turns out, our car was drivable, and we made it home safely on our own.
Cheers to being sober and ready to go when others need help!
As an interesting side note, the sheriff who worked our accident wasn’t sure if our vehicle could make it safely home, so he had me start calling friends to see about coming to get us. My husband was out of town, as was my best friend, so I called another good friend to see if she could help.
She told me that there was no way she could safely drive - her husband was traveling for work and she’d just had 4 glasses of wine after she put her kids to bed. 😮
I’m not saying that she has a drinking problem, but last night she definitely didn’t have a solution!!! Turns out, our car was drivable, and we made it home safely on our own.
Cheers to being sober and ready to go when others need help!
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