New here... want to know if I have a drinking problem
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
I'm not entirely sure when I crossed the line from heavy drinker to problem drinker but I know what changed was once I started drinking I wanted to keep drinking. It's the phenomenon of craving but I didn't recognize it at the time.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Originally Posted by Surrendered19 
I'm here in balmy MN with you Lerxst. Feels good to wake up and enjoy the morning right? All my mornings are like that now. I really treasure my early mornings. Coffee, fire, news, SR, dogs. Later today, I'll do some skiing and the dogs and I will take a 10-mile hike.
I wouldn't do any of that in my drinking days. I simply couldn't and I'm never going back there. I fill my life now with things I love to do, most of which are wholly incompatible with alcohol.
Great to have you on SR and I hope you have a healthy and peaceful weekend.
I wouldn't do any of that in my drinking days. I simply couldn't and I'm never going back there. I fill my life now with things I love to do, most of which are wholly incompatible with alcohol.
Great to have you on SR and I hope you have a healthy and peaceful weekend.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,787
Originally Posted by Free2bme888
Every
Day
I
Need
Attention
only the Mn persons will get it
Day
I
Need
Attention
only the Mn persons will get it
At least, I think I get it...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: Spartanburg, South Carolina
Posts: 50
The day brain vs. night brain thing really spoke to me. Often, I'll wake up, optimistic, full of energy, and have a fulfilling day. It's in the evening when, well, the night brain starts piping up. For me, it's often simply about filling up feelings of emptiness.
I hear you about the early retirement challenge! I'm also 55, and recently resigned from my full-time job (and I'd be financially fine but for bad investing decisions), and it's a challenge and blessing at the same time to be able to now structure my life the way I want and need to.
Let's all recover and heal.
Johannes
I hear you about the early retirement challenge! I'm also 55, and recently resigned from my full-time job (and I'd be financially fine but for bad investing decisions), and it's a challenge and blessing at the same time to be able to now structure my life the way I want and need to.
Let's all recover and heal.
Johannes
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2022
Posts: 55
Originally Posted by Mizz
I am so happy to see that you are reading about alcoholism, taking the steps you think you need to take, and making a change in your life. You seem very pragmatic to me.
One of the main things that has helped me to remain sober is a PLAN. I needed to have the hours structured in a way that would not allow me to drink. Each hour was accounted for until I saw that I was making headway. Even now, almost 17 months later, I stick to a structured waking, sleeping and activity schedule.
The cravings will come as you move further away from the alcohol. Our "Night brains" register the missing substance and start making a lot of noise. Sometimes that noise can be overwhelming. What does/ would your plan look like?
One of the main things that has helped me to remain sober is a PLAN. I needed to have the hours structured in a way that would not allow me to drink. Each hour was accounted for until I saw that I was making headway. Even now, almost 17 months later, I stick to a structured waking, sleeping and activity schedule.
The cravings will come as you move further away from the alcohol. Our "Night brains" register the missing substance and start making a lot of noise. Sometimes that noise can be overwhelming. What does/ would your plan look like?
I did not drink last night. It wasn't fun. It was a freakin' battle. But I won it. My body has now gone 60 hours without alchohol (beyond the fractional amount that is in a few NA beers.) Counting hours means more to me than days at this point.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Proud of you that you didn't drink last night Lerxst. Like FishK says, count the hours or the minutes at first if that is what gets you to the next group of sober hours or minutes.
Next weekend, after a healthy sober week, it won't be near the battle it was last night.
Next weekend, after a healthy sober week, it won't be near the battle it was last night.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2022
Posts: 55
Another struggle is that I am envious of the people that can drink minimally, here and there, and not have an addicition problem at all. It makes me angry that I don't get to be one of those people, that I have to choose between Problem Drinker and Non-Drinker. I am hoping that feeling of resentment fades too. I do not like being angry about this sort of stuff. Totally pointless emotion. I assume I will stop feeling such envy when I stop seeing booze as attractive. Then I will look at drinkers as if looking at people drinking carrot/kale/beet juice, and think, "yech!" (apologies to aficianados of said veggie juice)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
There definitely is a grieving process that we go through, or at least some of us. I certainly did. I had to ultimately admit that the romanticized way that I thought of drinking wine and vodka bore no resemblance whatsoever to the actual way I drank wine and vodka. I was grieving for something that didn't really exist, or at least hadn't existed for many years, except in my nag-headed head.
Special occasions are the times I really would love to have one glass of bubbly like a normal person and toast the happy couple, or whatever the case may be. But those are just lies I tell myself and if I play the tape forward, the tape includes me barfing on the bride's dress or getting in a brawl with the groom and the entire wedding party, and then getting arrested. (I've combined several things that actually happened in my past into one "tape" to save time).
Those feelings of resentment definitely get better over time Lerxst.
Special occasions are the times I really would love to have one glass of bubbly like a normal person and toast the happy couple, or whatever the case may be. But those are just lies I tell myself and if I play the tape forward, the tape includes me barfing on the bride's dress or getting in a brawl with the groom and the entire wedding party, and then getting arrested. (I've combined several things that actually happened in my past into one "tape" to save time).
Those feelings of resentment definitely get better over time Lerxst.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
Originally Posted by Lerxst
Another struggle is that I am envious of the people that can drink minimally, here and there, and not have an addicition problem at all. It makes me angry that I don't get to be one of those people, that I have to choose between Problem Drinker and Non-Drinker. I am hoping that feeling of resentment fades too. I do not like being angry about this sort of stuff. Totally pointless emotion. I assume I will stop feeling such envy when I stop seeing booze as attractive. Then I will look at drinkers as if looking at people drinking carrot/kale/beet juice, and think, "yech!" (apologies to aficianados of said veggie juice)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2022
Posts: 55
Originally Posted by Surrendered19
Those feelings of resentment definitely get better over time Lerxst.
Some writers on abstinence like to claim that alcohol is objectively distasteful, but I think that is an outlandish opinion about a species with so much variability as human beings. When I was little, (5? 6?) my folks started letting me sip their beers and I thought is tasted wonderful. Perhaps some of this was the knowledge that I was emulating adult behavior.
What a system! Kids don't get to have it (rightly) but because of that, it grows in allure, and they pine for the day they are admitted to the 21 club. It is like prepping them for their addiction, even without the substance being administered. It really is terrible when you stand back and look at it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Oh man, I friggin LOVED to drink, from a very early age. My alcoholic dad would give me sips of his Coors beer or jug wine on Memorial Day, and I couldn't wait until my next sip on the 4th of July. I have a much more cynical view of consumer alcohol that the abstinence writers you mention. I think it was engineered and designed from the get-go to hook us and be objectively awesome in every way. Like cigs. If either were invented today, neither would EVER be approved for widespread sales to consumers.
I also know people who never have liked the taste of any alcohol in any form and I've never really understood them at all. If I envy anything, it is definitely being one of those people that never drank to begin with. But none of us, me among them, should spend too much time looking backwards, else we crack our heads open on the obstacles in front of us.
I also know people who never have liked the taste of any alcohol in any form and I've never really understood them at all. If I envy anything, it is definitely being one of those people that never drank to begin with. But none of us, me among them, should spend too much time looking backwards, else we crack our heads open on the obstacles in front of us.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Originally Posted by Lerxst
Another struggle is that I am envious of the people that can drink minimally, here and there, and not have an addicition problem at all. It makes me angry that I don't get to be one of those people, that I have to choose between Problem Drinker and Non-Drinker. I am hoping that feeling of resentment fades too. I do not like being angry about this sort of stuff. Totally pointless emotion. I assume I will stop feeling such envy when I stop seeing booze as attractive. Then I will look at drinkers as if looking at people drinking carrot/kale/beet juice, and think, "yech!" (apologies to aficianados of said veggie juice)
I don’t envy drinkers or pity or despise them- I’m just living my best life, and loving it.
D
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