VikingGF

I have gotten to a point where I don't notice much about what other people are drinking- and I was doing some crazy fancy math to make sure there was plenty for me before I quit! The mind flip fully happened for me- I don't question it and I don't take it for granted. I do marvel at it, though. Now I have better things to focus on.

Lerxst

82 hours since I had a drink.

When the urges were strongest last night I'd go to Youtube and watch videos about alchohol's effects on various organs. I saw one that showed a middle-aged, fromer drinker with Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome that was caused by a lifetime of booze. Holy **** !I general like to motivate myself with positive reinforcement, but I'm going to keep a link to that handy, and remind myself to watch it whenever the AV rears its ugly head.

Mizz

Wonderful! Yes, the battle is real and its powerful. Very powerful. With each second, minute, hour, day and week....You will see improvement. That Battle will become less and less and there will be breathing room. You can change your life and you are changing your life.
The initial process for me was brutal. I went to bed early every night. Drank insane amounts of tea. I was a mess for a long time. That isnt everyone's road. It was mine though. Chop wood and carry water. Rinse and repeat and never be defeated.

Scott2295

Good for you Lerxst. It does get easier. A couple of books to recommend. Alcohol Explained by William Porter and Under the Influence by James Milam. Both describe what is happening to your body with alcohol.

Lerxst

Thanks, the Porter book is one I plan to get to pronto.

Educating oneself about the biochemistry seems to me an invaluable weapon in the battle. Not just for the ongoing knowledge, but because imbibing this information is an immediate rejoinder to the AV to get it to STFU.

Its all hands on deck right now.

Free2bme888

Wonderful, Lerx

Anna

Lerxst, you're doing great and it really will get easier as each day goes by. Do whatever you can to get through the urges and that will lessen their power.

fishkiller

Good Work!
Sounds like the beginnings of a plan to me

Surrendered19

Look down the road to this weekend Lerxst. At 7 or 8 days sober, you really start to feel better, and a weekend pops up, and many people start to rationalize, strategize and improvise a way to drink again "just on the weekends" or some such AV nonsense.

Don't fall for it. Start thinking now about the weekend and your plan to stay sober.

novips

The test I was given to determine whether I'm a "real alcoholic" is set forth below. Importantly, this is not the same thing as asking whether I have a drinking problem or even whether I'm an alcoholic of the type that only has one or two of the three symptoms set forth.

(1) Does my experience abundantly confirm that when I take a drink of alcohol I always want more? Importantly, this is not the same thing as asking whether I always in fact have more.

(2) Does my experience abundantly confirm that whenever I try to stop drinking on the basis of will power alone, I inevitably find myself back in the spot where I can't resist the thought that the next right thing is for me to have a drink?

(3) Does my experience abundantly confirm that problems (1) & (2) above cannot be solved by the world (i.e., getting the right job, degree, mate, home, etc.)?

I was told that if the answers to (1)-(3) are all "yes", then I might be a real alcoholic whose only solution is the recovery program set forth in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more about that.

DriGuy

Scott: Before my recovery, I was searching out counselors. One counselor loaned me her copy of a dog eared "Under the Influence," which she thought might help me get started in taking this recovery thing seriously. That was 26 years ago, and the book was already old. I was recently reminded of that book here, and found a used copy on ebay, which I bought to read again, and I realized how and why it had such an impact on me.

Most books on alcoholism take a philosophical approach to the issue and are a reflection of the author's thoughts, struggles, and what he/she had to do to personally to recover. Under the Influence, lays most of the philosophical stuff aside and explains in detail what is happening in your body to cause the addiction. It takes it down to the cellular level, and even further to the chemical level. I remember thinking during that first read, "So this is why I can't seem to shake this obsession I have with alcohol."

For me, knowing what was happening in my body, even more so than what was happening in my "head," had a profound and useful impact on me. It was possibly the first really helpful information I got to get me started. Porter is much the same, but not as much in depth.

The usual "instruction" books are helpful too. We can search through them and understand what applies to us, and probably most people are more attracted to that. For some of us, understanding the physiology is equally important. It's a way of learning where our bodies are in addiction, and how abstinence changes our physiology to break us free.

Lerxst

Thanks. Not worried about that, per se, because I've never seen weekends as different from weekdays. My historical drinking pattern certainly never did. All nights got an equal amount of booze. There is nothing we do on weekends, beyond an occasional dinner out, that might be diiferent from a weeknight.

Besides, I'm a bit of a miser and the cost of drinking while out always made me angry. so I would not do it often and prefer to drink at home as it was more economical. In January I went to a Wild game with my son and his GF, and bought us each a beer. It was over $40. For three frickin' cans!!

Lerxst

I am at about 110 hours with no booze.

Yesterday afternoon was the first point at which I felt an actual physical craving. Seemed to come on the heels of anxiety I got from reading about how Russia has reached a nuclear alert stage. Brought back fears I'd not had since I was a kid and the cold war of the 70s and 80s was raging.

My AV was telling me that hey, we might have ICBMs flying any day now, you might as well calm your nerves with a beer or two.

Lerxst

I looked at my credit card statments, and found that my drinking has cost about $100 / month.

Hevyn

Congrats on your booze-free time, Lerxst. I'm glad we'll be clear headed to deal with whatever is coming. Be proud of yourself for not caving.

Zevin

Your journey is fun to watch, Lerxst! By quitting now, you’re saving yourself a TON of problems.
Do watch out for the “I quit for xxxx amount of time, so I can start back whenever I want” thoughts. That’s a sneaky trick your AV will use.
I used to be jealous of people who drank “normally” but they seem rare to me now. I can’t tolerate drunk people anymore and am horrified when I realize I was THAT obnoxious person.
Keep it up!

Lerxst

Night 5 last night, no booze. Harder to get to sleep at night, but maybe I am waking up less. Hard to say.

fishkiller

Good Work on 5 Days!

The beginning sleep, moods, etc will be all over the place as your mind and body heals.
You will settle in eventually. How long depends, everyone is different.

I promise it gets better

Free2bme888

Great going, your at the top of the physical urge hill!

In my experience, after day 10 it’s mostly mental. I’m so glad you are choosing life. It’s a great life, so much worth living for and being present for the present of NOW. 🎁🎁🎁

Lerxst

Yes, yesterday and today in the mid-afternoon, when I would normally get in the looking-forward-to-a-drink mode, it has been brutal. It then gets easier as the night progresses. By the time I'm getting close to bed time I'm not craving it at all.