Free2bme888

Welcome here. The book Alcohol,Explained is very good about explaining why you can down that much alcohol and only get a buzz. It explains why we know it’s bad for us and keep doing it. And why we get so anxious without it. And why we wake up in the middle of the night anxious.


I never thought I’d sneak drinks, I never thought I would hide bottles, or drink and drive with a ‘buzz’, or lie to others and myself about my intake.

But I did..

I never thought I’d look at 10 different questionnaires and see if there was one that answered my “Am I an alcoholic?” Question the way I wanted it to.

But I did……

Change begins with the thought process. Glad you are starting to be aware. It is your soul crying for help before it gets too late……


Big hugs.

Free2bme888

Each box contains three liters of wine, that’s over 7 bottles a week. About 5.5 glasses per bottle.

least

I too didn't know what I'd 'do' with myself without my wine! But I found out, sober, that it's often good to just sit with the moment, not having any chemical stimulation. To just 'be' and appreciate the silence.

In addition to saving a lot of money by not drinking, I also noticed I felt better, both mentally and physically. Instead of waking up feeling like death warmed over, I wake up feeling good and ready for the day to unfold.

You mentioned all the drinking things you don't do. Well, add a 'yet' to them cause you may end up doing them. Like Anna said, alcoholism is a progressive disease. It always gets worse,, never better, unless you do something to treat it - like stopping drinking.

Give it a try, and not just for a month, give it three months completely sober and see how you feel then.

Lerxst

Thanks everyone.

Some of my recent reading on drinking has revealed to me that I have been a perfect example of a "functional alchoholic."

I think it helps for me to admit that this is indeed what I have been up to now. Probably for at least 15-20 years.

For as far back as I can recall, sleep has been horrific. The idea of actually sleeping through the night is difficult to imagine. I know that this is almost certainly due to the booze; when I went a week sober there was a clear improvement in the quality of slumber.

least

It took me a month or more for my sleep to improve, but boy oh boy, did it ever improve. I have the best sleep now. I go to sleep grateful for all my blessings and I wake up grateful for the day ahead. I feel rested when I wake up. Sober sleep is the best!

Mizz

A lot of us can understand the "functional" alcoholic part. I understand that I was becoming less functional as time went on. Wine was a BIG thing in my life. I drank at night. Almost every night. A bottle of wine almost every night.

If you think you have a problem, and you want to move on from your problem, you've come to the right place. The place no one ever really thought they would be

This community has helped me to save my life. To gain a life. To be free from wine. It's nice over here.

WELCOME!

Lerxst

Well it is 7:23 PM here in MN, and normally I'd be well into glass #3 by now. Instead I am on my 2nd non-alc beer.

least

Stay sober but be aware that alcohol withdrawals are not fun and the first few days of being sober usually sucks. But stick with it cause it gets better.

VikingGF

Class-A Foodie and Food Snob right here- and proud of it. I also couldn't fathom separating food and wine- until I realized the food was taking a back seat and all I cared about was the wine. I'm still a foodie and loving it even more because now I am able to taste what I eat (I had diminished taste and smell from drinking) and I'm perky and alert the next day rather than having a rich food and wine hangover.

Welcome, Lerxst. Keep coming back and keep reading, this is a great community.

Mizz

I did replace the bottle of wine with hot tea. Lots and lots of tea. A void was created when the alcohol was removed. It became essential that I fill that void with healthy activities and healthy drinking options. The first few weeks were very hard. I did adjust. You will adjust. Good for you for taking the first step towards your freedom!

Lerxst

Hello, it is 6:25 AM on a morning after which I had zero alcohol at night. And it feels good. One little victory.

In addition to reading material here, I spent some time last night reading a sobriety book on my Kindle ("Alchohol Lied to Me" - a typo-ridden and kind of sloppy book, IMO, but I recognize myself in a lot of it), and I find it helpful to be reminded continuously that alcohol is a toxin. I have to make my "night brain" recognize this fact as well as my "day brain" does.

Please know that your comments and support are making a difference for me, and are very appreciated. Personalized interaction via a message board provides something that simply reading a book does not. And I have nobody here to talk to about it. My wife might have one drink a week, and cannot relate to what my struggles are like.

Surrendered19

I'm here in balmy MN with you Lerxst. Feels good to wake up and enjoy the morning right? All my mornings are like that now. I really treasure my early mornings. Coffee, fire, news, SR, dogs. Later today, I'll do some skiing and the dogs and I will take a 10-mile hike.

I wouldn't do any of that in my drinking days. I simply couldn't and I'm never going back there. I fill my life now with things I love to do, most of which are wholly incompatible with alcohol.

Great to have you on SR and I hope you have a healthy and peaceful weekend.

Lerxst

I've also had IBS for about 20 years. I cannot believe that alcohol helps with that. I am curious to see what happens with my digestive system when I stop giving it poison every day.

Anna

Having a sober night is a big victory, so be proud of yourself for getting through that. And, I think you will find all kinds of benefits, physical, mental and emotional, when you are sober.

Mizz

I am so happy to see that you are reading about alcoholism, taking the steps you think you need to take, and making a change in your life. You seem very pragmatic to me.

One of the main things that has helped me to remain sober is a PLAN. I needed to have the hours structured in a way that would not allow me to drink. Each hour was accounted for until I saw that I was making headway. Even now, almost 17 months later, I stick to a structured waking, sleeping and activity schedule.

The cravings will come as you move further away from the alcohol. Our "Night brains" register the missing substance and start making a lot of noise. Sometimes that noise can be overwhelming. What does/ would your plan look like?

Zebra1275

So.... would you say I have a drinking problem? I think I do.


Yes.

I based my answer on what you described, and my own history.

Being retired with time on your hands and no accountability to an employer sounds like a dangerous situation.

I'm glad you joined this website, spend a lot of time here reading and posting.

Lerxst

One reason I do not work is that I have a visual disability (I am legally blind). Another reason us that when I was in my early thirties I started planning to retire early, because I absolutely despise the corporate lifestyle and the concept of having a boss. I was hoping to retire in my mid-forties, and saved aggressively and worked very hard. I managed it at age 53. While I have no employer, I serve on the Board as the Treasurer for a new non-profit. I am also two years into a large book-writing project that occupies the rest of my time. My wife loves her high-paying job, and we own our home. Until the pandemic, we had been making 5 or 6 international trips a year to go birding (I am on a mission to indentify at least 5,400 bird species despite my visual disability - I only need about 750 more).

So while it seems like I have time on my hands, I am actually extrememly busy. It is my drive to accomplish a lot in my life, without having to answer to an employer, which has caused me to examine my drinking and realize that it is holding me back in these endeavors.

Edit to say: sorry if this sounds defensive or snapping, but I got a lot of questions when I retired early, along the lines of "but what will you DO?" - the implication being that if you don't have a conventional job, the only other thing to do is play solitaire. It drove me crazy...

advbike

Welcome, sounds like you are taking a really thoughtful and well-researched approach to this. I was stuck right where you have been at, for a decade or two before I quit. I loved to drink wine with dinner, or on a date, or when traveling., and I was still able to moderate it, but it was a struggle - if I had one I would have at least three. Horrible sleep and anxiety soon followed. Ultimately it's just not worth it. Once you get through the first week those cravings will diminish, and once you get past the first month, life will start getting better rapidly. At that point the AV will start trying to convince you that you didn't really have a problem and it takes mental strength and regular support to beat it back, but after 6 months you won't even think about alcohol. I was amazed once I had a year under my belt.

Lerxst

As I read more I now understand that what I have been calling my "night brain" is referred to here as the AV.

least

Yeah, the Addictive Voice is that little voice that says, oh come on, just have one, or, come on, it'll be different this time... and so on. All BS, of course, and it's that little, or not so little, voice that you've got to ignore or talk back to and tell it HELL NO!

I'm over 12 yrs sober now and the only time I think of alcohol is to be glad I don't drink it anymore. That feeling struck me between my first and second sober years. I just stopped wanting it. I was feeling so much better that I wanted to keep up this sober streak, and now have over a decade of sobriety.

Stay completely sober, no slips, and see how much better you'll start to feel.