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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2021
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 80
Thanks everyone. Today is day three. Ive slept for about 4 hours in two days. Im hydrated and well fed. I went to Waffle House this am with my son and devoured an all star and some coffee. I don't really drink coffee unless I am trying to detox due to lack of sleep, so it winds me up. It also helps overcome the lack of sleep.
I have done the short term detox thing before so this isn't uncharted waters for me but it still sucks feeling this way. Coming up with a long term plan is what I have lacked in the past and that is what I am focusing on this go round. I read on this site last night for about three hours when I couldn't sleep, trying to gain input on what has worked (and hasn't) for others of y'all who have gone through this.
I have come up with this consensus so far:
-There is no silver bullet/magic wand. It takes work, will power, and dedication. I made myself successful in business with this so it is of no surprise, but I think working on yourself is much harder than slaving away on a job site (for me anyways, I always just got drunk and forgot about my inner problems rather face them.). I know I can do it though.
-It is really hard to do alone and there are resources out there who can be an enormous amount of help if you let them in.
-My situation isn't unique and there is no shame in fixing it. It is actually incredible to make the change and I commend/admire those who have faced it. It is way more difficult to fix it rather than drown it.
-Drinking in moderation/socially isn't for me and most that try it, fail, when a person is wired like many of us in this situation.
-Being sober isn't going to automatically fix your problems, but being sober will make dealing them in the proper manner much easier and with better results.
-Idle time is the devils hand. Stay busy. I used to be unstoppable with my energy and drive. Lately my time was spent drunk or hungover and not doing much. That's not me. It eats your brain with depression and feeling worthless, which leads to drinking. It is a viscous cycle.
-This is the right decision for me and my family. Period. I am mad at myself for the wasted years spent drunk. That time will never come back, but I can't dwell on that. I can change it though going forward.
I say all this for a number of reasons. Feedback from others obviously. If I put it in writing (even on the internet to a bunch of strangers) I will read it and reread it so It will become ingrained in my head. And also, and this may sound weird but it's something I noticed reading here, is that I gathered a sliver of advice from a random post, it helped me. I hope somebody else going through this sees something I shared and it helps them. I like helping people who want to be helped as others do here.
This place is unique. Im a member of various forums but they are all related to outdoor stuff, diesel trucks, boats, etc. All pretty manly redneck tough guy stuff. People share things personal but it always turns into internet tough guy bravado garbage. The members here are brutally honest with many crying out for help, and the love and compassion shown for them is such a positive thing I can't put it into words, but many here are brutally honest. No sugar coating. Not rude or mean, but think Dr. Phil type advice (I really like that guy, listen to his podcasts, he's good).
Anyways, thanks for listening and letting me share.
I have done the short term detox thing before so this isn't uncharted waters for me but it still sucks feeling this way. Coming up with a long term plan is what I have lacked in the past and that is what I am focusing on this go round. I read on this site last night for about three hours when I couldn't sleep, trying to gain input on what has worked (and hasn't) for others of y'all who have gone through this.
I have come up with this consensus so far:
-There is no silver bullet/magic wand. It takes work, will power, and dedication. I made myself successful in business with this so it is of no surprise, but I think working on yourself is much harder than slaving away on a job site (for me anyways, I always just got drunk and forgot about my inner problems rather face them.). I know I can do it though.
-It is really hard to do alone and there are resources out there who can be an enormous amount of help if you let them in.
-My situation isn't unique and there is no shame in fixing it. It is actually incredible to make the change and I commend/admire those who have faced it. It is way more difficult to fix it rather than drown it.
-Drinking in moderation/socially isn't for me and most that try it, fail, when a person is wired like many of us in this situation.
-Being sober isn't going to automatically fix your problems, but being sober will make dealing them in the proper manner much easier and with better results.
-Idle time is the devils hand. Stay busy. I used to be unstoppable with my energy and drive. Lately my time was spent drunk or hungover and not doing much. That's not me. It eats your brain with depression and feeling worthless, which leads to drinking. It is a viscous cycle.
-This is the right decision for me and my family. Period. I am mad at myself for the wasted years spent drunk. That time will never come back, but I can't dwell on that. I can change it though going forward.
I say all this for a number of reasons. Feedback from others obviously. If I put it in writing (even on the internet to a bunch of strangers) I will read it and reread it so It will become ingrained in my head. And also, and this may sound weird but it's something I noticed reading here, is that I gathered a sliver of advice from a random post, it helped me. I hope somebody else going through this sees something I shared and it helps them. I like helping people who want to be helped as others do here.
This place is unique. Im a member of various forums but they are all related to outdoor stuff, diesel trucks, boats, etc. All pretty manly redneck tough guy stuff. People share things personal but it always turns into internet tough guy bravado garbage. The members here are brutally honest with many crying out for help, and the love and compassion shown for them is such a positive thing I can't put it into words, but many here are brutally honest. No sugar coating. Not rude or mean, but think Dr. Phil type advice (I really like that guy, listen to his podcasts, he's good).
Anyways, thanks for listening and letting me share.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
That was a wonderful post, birddawg. I'm so glad you're liking us & making yourself at home. We're so happy you're here.
I wish everyone would be more open - we have so much to share with each other in this life - but we rarely feel comfortable being honest. SR is unique, as you said.
I wish everyone would be more open - we have so much to share with each other in this life - but we rarely feel comfortable being honest. SR is unique, as you said.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 1,536
I also can’t help saying what a wonderful post that was, birddawg. It sounds like you are determined to make sobriety stick and that you have a definite plan. If I may suggest, also have a clear plan in place for when you arrive back home from your family visit. I’ve sobered up elsewhere with serious intentions for example during business away or a vacation, often to be undone when I arrive back home.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,077
Nice job Birddawg!! Sounds like you've been engaged in some deep thinking and self reflection. I'm glad you're working on a plan of action for your long term recovery. One of the first things said to me when I started going to AA was " Trust God, clean house, help others!!" and it still pops up in my mind every day...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 259
Welcome Birddawg and congratulations on your first days of not drinking. As you noted, simply abstaining from drinking is usually not as long lasting as building a good life of in sobriety. I too was a binge drinker and in recovery I found out that there wasn't any way to reset and go back to being a "normal drinker" as I had passed that phase and now was into binging vodka for 3-5 days.
Ive been sober now for 2 years and its been a good time for me. Im one of those people who remain pretty active in different things and I used to tell myself that alcohol was important for me to blow off steam and that delusion would even go as far as me thinking alcohol actually helped me be creative and insightful. All nonsense. In sobriety I've been much more productive and I also work less because I had to learn to draw boundaries in my life and learn how to properly relax, cope and deal with problems that are a part of all of our lives.
I used to struggle to bottle up my emotions all the time and over time alcohol became my outlet for that except it made everything worse. Anger, grief and depressions got worse every year. About a year into sobriety I noticed I did not have the same type of roller coaster emotions and that I dealt with things a lot better. I didnt feel the same inner turmoil and I didnt have the same type of problems that came from drinking.
This forum is great but Id also encourage you to check out some different videos, podcasts, books as well because those helped me too. You can do this.
Ive been sober now for 2 years and its been a good time for me. Im one of those people who remain pretty active in different things and I used to tell myself that alcohol was important for me to blow off steam and that delusion would even go as far as me thinking alcohol actually helped me be creative and insightful. All nonsense. In sobriety I've been much more productive and I also work less because I had to learn to draw boundaries in my life and learn how to properly relax, cope and deal with problems that are a part of all of our lives.
I used to struggle to bottle up my emotions all the time and over time alcohol became my outlet for that except it made everything worse. Anger, grief and depressions got worse every year. About a year into sobriety I noticed I did not have the same type of roller coaster emotions and that I dealt with things a lot better. I didnt feel the same inner turmoil and I didnt have the same type of problems that came from drinking.
This forum is great but Id also encourage you to check out some different videos, podcasts, books as well because those helped me too. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Welcome, Dave! I had many day ones as well, but thanks to SR now have five and a half years sober. Life hasn't always been easy the past five years, but I have learned to navigate through all situations sober. You can do this!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2021
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 80
Originally Posted by ciowa 
This forum is great but Id also encourage you to check out some different videos, podcasts, books as well because those helped me too. You can do this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2021
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 80
Day six is coming to a close. I'm doing good. I finally got a full nights sleep Thursday night and it felt so good. I'm pretty much out of the woods on the physical side of withdrawals so that's good. From past experience (sad, I know), that's how long it takes for my body to begin to return to a sense of normalcy.
Just wanted to check in with y'all. I hope everyone is doing well. Enjoy the weekend.
Just wanted to check in with y'all. I hope everyone is doing well. Enjoy the weekend.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2021
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 80
Originally Posted by fishkiller
Welcome birddog!
In hoping this is Day 8 for you.
In hoping this is Day 8 for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2021
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 80
Originally Posted by CWC1349
I am honestly scared, but ready for a change.
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