Chris2

Thanks Steely. (and all)

I've dug a hole I can't get out of. I'm more angry at myself and never hurt anyone

Chris2

Thanks again all.

I'm a nice guy but it's all too much. Look after yourselves and thanks again

Be123

Thanks Chris. If you are leaving then goodbye, good luck. I don't think it would harm to 'lurk' the board if you don't want to post - read what we're up to and see if it makes any sense to you. That way you've always got a resource available if you need it

Have a great Xmas

Chris2

Be123 thank you.

I'll move on as forum deserves better. I'm sorry as I shouldn't have posted.

My parents have given up and maybe they are right

Dee74

I hope you decide to stick around Chris...if not remember the door is open for a return anytime
Staying sober is tough - but not impossible.

Some of us have dealt with some pretty horrible things, with the support of others.
We don't give up easy on each other, either

It took me 15 years to stop drinking, but this place helped me stay stopped.

D

Be123

This forum does not deserve better. Stick around and read what goes on and you'll realise we're all on the same boat. I haven't drunk for 300 days and have come to terms with drunk Be123 but he was no less hopeless than you. He could do really horrible things - and did. I'll be censored but I'll say it anyway, he was a right **** at times

Steely

You're the best Chris, you hate yourself as much as I did?

I thought all family, relationships, could never be retrieved, but they have been. The real ones at anyrate.

When people start to see us change, they change too. It takes time, but they do. 'Ava go ya mug.

I hope you continue to post Chris, and if not, "lurk" as Be123 suggests. Every little bit counts.

Have a happy and peaceful christmas Chris.

Sammy1980

Hi Chris,
I had the same reaction as you when I decided to tell my doctor about my drinking. I was reaching out for help and all I got was scolded. I walked out of that office feeling so much more shame then when I walked in and to top it off, Alcoholic stamped all over my medical chart for everyone to see and that will never be taken off. A year later I decided that I will show everyone that I am not a loser and I will stop drinking on my own without any help. I have been sober for a year now and it feels great. You can also do this.
Do it for you! I am sure that you have lost yourself as I did. You deserve to find yourself again it is a beautiful thing.

Good luck Chris.

Chris2

Just got a msg from (no doubt) drunk Dad.

Said ruined his life by moving home and wished I
wasn't born.

He may get that wish.

Have a great Christmas all and thanks again.

Chris2

I'm very sorry all.

See you in another life

Erica375

"You ruined my life!" is what an alcoholic (or anyone, really) says when he doesn't want to face the fact that he ruined his own life.
Delete the message. You're responsible for your life; your dad is responsible for his. As a mom, I cannot imagine saying that to any of my children, but I know the sting of hearing a milder version of that from my mom.
It hurts, but don't let it destroy you, and don't drink over it. You're worth more than that.

Be123

You can't grant your dad's wish. You HAVE been born and now it's just a matter of what you do with your life as it now is. That's a choice you get to make today. And tomorrow.

And as for your dad saying that - I don't believe he meant it. But if he did then **** him, you're worth more than that, you can live a life you enjoy no matter what he says

Anna

Chris, I hope you understand that we care about you and how you are doing. If you decide to leave, I wish you the best, but I'd love to see you stay. You might be surprised that you can slowly but surely, dig yourself out of the hold you are in.

Steely

Your father was drunk Chris, and he was hurting.

I had a habit of hurting people when drunk. Lashed out in anger as was hurting as well. I was thinking, behaving, with my "stupid" brain. Sobriety has given me the opportunity to put my brain to proper use and try nurture myself, and those I care about.

Anger is armour Chris, you can let down your guard in sobriety, but still be strong in yourself. Drinking gave every man and his dog reason to have a go at me. And fair enough, really. Sober, they have no reason.

Things improve in sobriety Chris, believe me.

Dee74

I’m so sorry your father said that Chris - It’s absolute nonsense of course, bought on by the drink.

My parents have over the years had harsh words for me too. They’re not alcoholics in my case but they have been at times as mad as the proverbial cut snake.

What not drinking gave me was the ability to step back and judge those kinds of statements on their merits....and statements like those have no merit, in my opinion.

People lash out for all kinds of broken, corrupted reasons. Just because someone else says it does not mean I have to own it - even when that someone else is my father.

D

Chris2

Hi all.
I'm still here and thanks so much again.

As yesterday I'd love to respond to each post but please don't take it personally.

It's extremely helpful.

So yeah. Dad no contact today, my Mum rang drunk and said "ruined their life" as per Dad, so I'm just trying to ignore it.

Merry Christmas all and I'll keep fighting ok

Chris2

BTW as people have said what with being scolded by Drs?

Makes me not want to get help as so rude to me when in a crisis. Paramedic Brendan was simply fantastic, seemed to be the only one who seemed to understand.

sodasoba

Good to see you back here Chris.
You've pulled through the day ok mate?

Chris2

Wrists cut but seems no real damage. Still weeping blood but I'll sort it.

Been a tough day but I rescue Greyhounds and proud of it so using that

abraxas69

Hi Chris, sorry to read about what you've been going through, and the lack of support from certain quarters. I too once thought I couldn't cope whist sober, but thanks to the incredible support here I have learnt that it is most certainly possible.