Cityboy

Saou, that reminds me of a guy I knew years ago that drank beer on the job, like a lot. Someone said something to him about it once and he thought it would be funny to go to a big meeting with a bunch of NA beer. Apparently they did not think it was funny and he lost his job, which was not surprising.

MLD51

Lunar's frog is Jobu, I think.

I am very glad that I didn't tend to head to facebook or e-mail after drinking. Or if I did, I didn't say anything too stupid. I still cringe sometimes when those old posts roll around on my "memories" every so often - and I see something I posted from 6 or 7 years ago. A lot of those posts mentioned having wine or beers or whatever at social events or ballgames and I am often pictured with a drink in my hand in those old posts. Luckily, no one but me sees those unless I share them, and I never do. But I don't really like seeing them.

saoutchik

Losing his job for bringing N/A beer to a meeting is a bit harsh although it was a dumb thing to do. I just envisage myself drunkenly sending off an text, email, FB or Tweet saying exactly what I think of some boss or customer and them not finding it funny or laughing it off.

Btw, a few of you might remember I posted about the campaign to save the Happy Man Tree in Hackney from being cut down by developers. Well good news, the 25,000 signature petition (which I think is a fantastic number for a single tree) has had some effect and it has been granted a stay of execution for now.

SoberLeigh

Sao, that is great news. So happy for the tree and for those who appreciate it.

Willow00

Leigh I love the backpack analogy. I need to sift through my backpack more often and ditch the stuff I don’t need.

Funnily enough, on my last extended travelling trip, I stuffed waaaay too much into my backpack, half of which I didn’t need. After lugging it around for weeks, I vowed to never ever do that again. (I think I vowed the same thing after a previous trip too, I really need to learn from past experiences). Next trip I am packing lightly!

But I need to do this in everyday life too, especially with the worries. I spend far too much time worrying about things I have no control over. Yes it’s time to work more on letting the worries go.

DesertDawg

This is a great opening post, Mags. When I finally understood that in the big scheme of things, I'll never *really* be in control of my life, I began to attain the inner peace that has helped me maintain my sobriety. I used to worry myself sick making sure that everything in my life was just the way I wanted it, or at least was "going according to plan." When things inevitably went wrong, I freaked out, and my way of dealing with it was drinking. At a certain point, I realized that no matter how carefully I plan things, eventually life happens and things don't turn out the way you expect, only then was I able to begin to work toward sobriety. It may sound fatalistic to some people, but I accept (for example) that its possible, albeit not likely, that I could be in a bad car accident on the way to the store tomorrow. I certainly hope not, and I will be as careful as I can, but I can't anticipate a careless driver plowing through an intersection, or a truck driver who has been at the wheel too long with no sleep. I hate cliches, but accepting "life on life's terms" has been a huge contributor to not only my sobriety, but my peace of mind. In the end, I've learned to try to control the little things I can. For example, be conscientious with my work, live within my financial means, don't overdue it on junk food, try to get some exercise when I can, treat people with kindness. Worrying about all the nonsense going in the world right now, or climate change, or some blowhard on social media, is just not worth it, because I *cannot* control it. When I learned to let go of things like that, my life became a lot simpler.

PhoenixJ

Let go, acceptance- boozing, yep. Financial, physical constraints- yep.
Not so easy letting go of wanting my sons in my life- resistance there to letting go- a form of grief. I understand- but letting go will just come as it will- no amount of distraction or meditation or talking to my psycholady will change that. Acceptance does not mean I do not love them, it means their actions are beyond my control.

Willow00

(((PJ))) I think you really hit the nail on the head there.
Acceptance doesn’t mean we have to like a situation, we can feel however we feel and that’s ok, it’s accepting that other people’s actions are beyond our control. That’s something I need to ponder on a bit more.

SoberLeigh

(((PhoenixJ, my dear friend)))

least

(((PJ)))

I like the phrase I see so much here in the F and F forums - Let go or be dragged.

Mags1

Morning Weekenders

Least I like that ‘let go or be dragged’. I have a friend whose daughter is on drugs and of course she wants to try to make everything ok so her daughter doesn’t lose her home and son. She is being dragged and I pray that one day (probably when grandson is old enough) she will let go. It doesn’t mean she will love her less, but take care of her own mental well-being.

PJ, you’re a trooper, my friend. x

Leigh, I love the backpack terminology too.

Marty, Saou, I cringe too if I have a past memory. Thankfully there won’t be any new memories like that.

I’ve learned so much from SR and people here. It helps me grow mentally to be a better person.

Visiting my step mum today. I don’t think I’ll get a walk on the beach thoug. See you later. xx

Willow00

Enjoy the visit with your stepmum Mags

Mags1

Willow.

Kaily

Morning all,

Hope you have a nice weekend away Captain.

Good to see you Vinny.

Forwards - Apple Crumble, how thoughtful, and delicious I'm sure. I hope your housemates appreciate you.

Sao I got myself in numerous dodgy situations drinking while online and I don't even use FB!

I'm not great at letting go, I'm insecure, a worrier and surrounded by uncertainty, but doing better than I was.

BEELS

Hey weekenders.

i really need to let go. I’m allowing myself to be dragged while wearing a heavy backpack!!

great analogies. I can start working on this at 38 days sober. I’m surprised I had to look at my counter to find out the number of days.

feeling like a failure when things don’t go perfectly and trying to make everything right for others is a heavy burden. I will let go of things i cannot control and allow others to weed and water their own gardens.

Prioritize and focus on what’s important.

Looking forward to weekend #6?? Again, I’m losing count. I think that’s a good thing.

thanks weekenders.

B

Willow00

I spotted Jonathan down at the creek mouth keeping an eye on a fisherman this afternoon

Cityboy

Can't blame Jonathan for doing that.

Willow00

For sure! hoping for some supper no doubt

Renegade2

I'm on my Day 5. I started Monday after a horrible binge drinking weekend.
My weekends always have been my worst challenges, since being more at home is where I drink more often.
During this week, I always kept busing at the office and doing errands, that kept the addiction at bay.
Now comes the hard part, the weekend.

Wish me luck.

Willow00

5 days is a great start Renegade. Welcome to the weekenders. This is a great place to come for support to help you get through the weekend