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Relapsed....back at day 2

Old 08-16-2020, 05:57 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Hi Zenlifter

I can really relate to your post. I had over a year sober and then drank again. I spent the next year on and off, unable to string more than a few weeks together. Like Missy mentioned, I’ve found it really hard to stay stopped again.
But I’m back at 55 days (tomorrow night it will be 8 weeks) and I’m really hopeful that this time is the last time. It’s just too hard to keep trying to stop all the time.

Day 3 is great, keep up the awesome job
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Old 08-16-2020, 06:11 PM
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I hope this time you can make it stick.
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Old 08-16-2020, 06:20 PM
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Welome back and thank God you are back. Some aren't so lucky. A young mum from my AA group who had 2 years of sobriety and then relapsed and struggled to get sober again has recently died as a result of this illness. Heartbreaking.

Thank you for sharing your truth which has helped to keep me sober today.

I havent had a drink in 2 years and 4 months but I am not cured of alcoholism and neither am I immune to it. The obsession to drink has left me thank God but I have to work my recovery on a daily basis because my illness centres in my mind. My alcoholism wants me dead but will settle for me drunk. Praying, meetings, stepwork, sharing honestly how I feel, gratitude and getting out of self is my daily medicine.

Well done on reaching day 3. Do today what you did yesterday and you will never ever have to go through this misery again.

❤🙏🙏❤
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Old 08-17-2020, 07:28 AM
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Snitch....I know exactly what you mean. It's always the damned mind. It seems to think it can kill me, and go on living....as Bob Earll once said....

Thanks again everyone for the support. Today is day 5. Hope you all have a wonderful day
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Old 08-17-2020, 07:45 AM
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Glad to hear your back on the sober train. I too relapsed after 4 years. We are all in this together.
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Old 08-17-2020, 11:07 AM
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Really grateful for all of you that have shared how you too, relapsed after long term sobriety....it really makes me feel less alone, and reminds me, "One day at a time." Or an hour, or five minutes if necessary. That's how it's done. When my anxious, fearful mind starts in with the future trip...looking far down the road, and seeing nothing but a string of disasters...that's when I know I'll make that disaster happen, if only to spite myself.
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Old 08-17-2020, 02:53 PM
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Welcome back Zen. I drank after 5 years and that FIRST TIME I got sick, left my job unannounced and almost got fired. It is insanity.
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Old 08-17-2020, 07:58 PM
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First off, congratulations on three years! That is nothing to sneeze at although of course you wanted it to be longer. Even though the clock is resetting as it were, personally I think keeping that sobriety time in mind while you move forward is a positive thing to do. Too many times Iíve been hard on myself when a relapse occurs and Iíve learned to keep in mind those successful periods while working hard to not let it happen again.
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Old 08-18-2020, 01:48 PM
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Glad you are back. Thanks for sharing your experiences. It's a great reminder to never become complacent about sobriety.
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Old 08-19-2020, 11:39 PM
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Zen,

Wow, thank you for this post. The courage is takes to tell on yourself for the benefit of the newcomer or anyone struggling, it is immense and impressive. I have 13 months and entering into year 2 has been so hard. For the first time in sobriety, I have anxiety again and am battling wild emotions and am completely identified with my disease. I am struggling, to say the least. I have thought of alcohol more than I did in the first year and am scared. I don't want to drink and I don't want depression and anxiety to take me out. I want to live and I know that this way of life is beautiful in all of its moments; joy and fear and pain. It is hard to remember this.

Your message touched me and I love that you could share this vulnerability with us and inspire me to keep going.

Thank you.

Nic.
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Old 08-20-2020, 12:06 PM
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Originally Posted by NicLin View Post
Zen,

Wow, thank you for this post. The courage is takes to tell on yourself for the benefit of the newcomer or anyone struggling, it is immense and impressive. I have 13 months and entering into year 2 has been so hard. For the first time in sobriety, I have anxiety again and am battling wild emotions and am completely identified with my disease. I am struggling, to say the least. I have thought of alcohol more than I did in the first year and am scared. I don't want to drink and I don't want depression and anxiety to take me out. I want to live and I know that this way of life is beautiful in all of its moments; joy and fear and pain. It is hard to remember this.

Your message touched me and I love that you could share this vulnerability with us and inspire me to keep going.

Thank you.

Nic.

Thanks so much for this, Nic. I will tell you that I relapsed way before I relapsed. In my mind first, way before I took that first drink....so if you are thinking about it a lot, that's definitely a warning signal. Gotta try to short circuit that thinking any way you can. With meetings, or reaching out to friends, etc. I did exactly the wrong thing, and isolated, because that's my default. That's what our addiction wants, to get us all alone in a room, and whisper in our ear continually until we do what it wants.

Be strong, my friend. Don't drink today
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