Originally Posted by
NicLin 
Zen,
Wow, thank you for this post. The courage is takes to tell on yourself for the benefit of the newcomer or anyone struggling, it is immense and impressive. I have 13 months and entering into year 2 has been so hard. For the first time in sobriety, I have anxiety again and am battling wild emotions and am completely identified with my disease. I am struggling, to say the least. I have thought of alcohol more than I did in the first year and am scared. I don't want to drink and I don't want depression and anxiety to take me out. I want to live and I know that this way of life is beautiful in all of its moments; joy and fear and pain. It is hard to remember this.
Your message touched me and I love that you could share this vulnerability with us and inspire me to keep going.
Thank you.
Nic.
Thanks so much for this, Nic. I will tell you that I relapsed way before I relapsed. In my mind first, way before I took that first drink....so if you are thinking about it a lot, that's definitely a warning signal. Gotta try to short circuit that thinking any way you can. With meetings, or reaching out to friends, etc. I did exactly the wrong thing, and isolated, because that's my default. That's what our addiction wants, to get us all alone in a room, and whisper in our ear continually until we do what it wants.
Be strong, my friend. Don't drink today