So drunk, help me
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 3,597
Mera, so glad you reached out. I hope you've been able to stay away from the festival. In my experience with these types of town celebrations, you're not really missing anything by not going. Be aloof and mysterious in your castle, looking down at the simple townsfolk. Think gothic noir. The reclusive and unknowable Mera.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,132
Originally Posted by Meraviglioso 
Thanks Jeff, how's it going for you?
Love's Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy by Irving D. Yalom
Love's Executioner and Other Tales of Psychotherapy by Irving D. Yalom
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,594
Yes, I'm going to order it too, HeadEast, but I'm really broke at the moment. There'll be a next time. Another dollar will make it my way. Another carnivale.
I hope you don't drink Mera.
There'll be another carnivale for you and the kids to enjoy.
I nearly said previously, that if you believed you would remain sober, then go, but think the decision you made was wise. Fwiw,I think you are too fragile at the moment.
The floats looked fantastic Mera. Yes, only paper mâché, soluble in alcohol. You will be stronger next time.
I hope you don't drink Mera.
There'll be another carnivale for you and the kids to enjoy. I nearly said previously, that if you believed you would remain sober, then go, but think the decision you made was wise. Fwiw,I think you are too fragile at the moment.
The floats looked fantastic Mera. Yes, only paper mâché, soluble in alcohol. You will be stronger next time.
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Join Date: Sep 2018
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Hey Mera - reaching out one more time before I go to sleep . I consider this a safe place . Heaven's knows, I am in no position to judge anyone. If you relapsed, didn't relapse, it is fine. No judgement zone.
I would like to see you check in - your friend, Nathan
I would like to see you check in - your friend, Nathan
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
I went to bed!!! Sober!
I disagree with the idea that it was the fear of missing out, as was pointed out, I already enjoyed the festivities in a safe way. It was more loneliness. I just wanted to reach out an connect here, have a shared "experience" with someone. I wanted people to watch the video I posted and enjoy it with me- in a safe place. I was feeling lonely and down.
But I will say again, now that I am not clouded by the medication, I can consciously recognise those feelings and state them clearly, which is what I think I did. correct me if I am wrong. i wanted to talk about the book I shared, the beautiful floats and famous celebration we have here. I shared and tried to connect and it worked. I read some responses before falling asleep and then went to bed.
I disagree with the idea that it was the fear of missing out, as was pointed out, I already enjoyed the festivities in a safe way. It was more loneliness. I just wanted to reach out an connect here, have a shared "experience" with someone. I wanted people to watch the video I posted and enjoy it with me- in a safe place. I was feeling lonely and down.
But I will say again, now that I am not clouded by the medication, I can consciously recognise those feelings and state them clearly, which is what I think I did. correct me if I am wrong. i wanted to talk about the book I shared, the beautiful floats and famous celebration we have here. I shared and tried to connect and it worked. I read some responses before falling asleep and then went to bed.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Originally Posted by HeadEast
I ordered it. I should have gone to an actual bookstore instead of using Amazon, though.
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As an addition anyone following, I have always said to others that is it totally normal to feel needy and want attention at times. That is what I was going through yesterday. I am glad I posted random sh(t and did just that, it saved me from drinking.
I just needed to feel connected in some way.
I just needed to feel connected in some way.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
if the festivities are really the cause of your angst, please remember a few posts back:
I did get to take my kids to one of the parades a few weeks ago though. It was one of the afternoon ones. We all dressed up in costume and enjoyed seeing the floats, eating treats and dancing in the streets. But it was good, clean, afternoon fun. So I got my Carnevale in for the year.
you are not missing out. you did take your children and see floats, people watch and have a good time.
personally, i think the Parade and Missing Out are just excuses for wanting to drink. you claim the other day was just a one off, but it never is........once we open the door, again, it's very hard to get it firmly shut. but calling it what it is rather than dressing it up to be anything else, helps remember exactly what (and who!) we are dealing with. ourselves and our addiction.
assuming there is no alcohol in your house and you plan to stay IN, you should be able to successfully maintain your sobriety.
I did get to take my kids to one of the parades a few weeks ago though. It was one of the afternoon ones. We all dressed up in costume and enjoyed seeing the floats, eating treats and dancing in the streets. But it was good, clean, afternoon fun. So I got my Carnevale in for the year.
you are not missing out. you did take your children and see floats, people watch and have a good time.
personally, i think the Parade and Missing Out are just excuses for wanting to drink. you claim the other day was just a one off, but it never is........once we open the door, again, it's very hard to get it firmly shut. but calling it what it is rather than dressing it up to be anything else, helps remember exactly what (and who!) we are dealing with. ourselves and our addiction.
assuming there is no alcohol in your house and you plan to stay IN, you should be able to successfully maintain your sobriety.
I'm in my new phase of being honest and open. Yesterday Anvil, your post really annoyed me. I read it in a negative way, that you were criticising me. I thought "this person only ever has negative things to say" but I read it again today, with warmth in my heart, and see that you were just pointing out the obvious. It is so true what you said, this recent relapse, though only one day, DID open the door again and YES, what you say is exactly true, it is hard to shut once open. So last night when I heard the celebrations ( 8 km away!!!!!!) I felt "left out" and sad. No one I knew was there. My boyfriend is going to the next party tomorrow, so there was really no reason to feel left out. But I just felt mad and sad and well... lonely. For that I posted the video. I feel stupid today having done that. I am 40 years old for god's sake, but I just wanted to share the magic of it all with someone, anyone. I wanted people to watch it- a big ask for a 25 minute video!- and to respond and say "yes! you are right! so cool!" I just wanted to feel like someone understood me. Or... wait... not understood, but something else.... I guess "connection" sums it up best, but I still feel lacks what I am really trying to say.
In any case, thank you for being you, solid and true, always. You lay down the truth and while I tend to lean into the warmer, softer messages, the straight talk is needed as well and you provide it.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Hi, Mera,
I don't get on SR as often as I did in earlier times, but I still visit and just wanted to drop a note to you to let you know I'm rooting for you.
Oh, you've carried some heavy burdens on your shoulders. It will feel so good to free yourself of them for good. You can and you will.
All the best to you, Mera. Like so many others, I care about you.
V.
I don't get on SR as often as I did in earlier times, but I still visit and just wanted to drop a note to you to let you know I'm rooting for you.
Oh, you've carried some heavy burdens on your shoulders. It will feel so good to free yourself of them for good. You can and you will.
All the best to you, Mera. Like so many others, I care about you.
V.
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