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Old 01-22-2020, 09:57 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Gotta Get This...


Well... had been doing well...then The holidays came and I slipped. 'Just one drink... how can that hurt...' then another and you all know how that goes. Reset Christmas day and was doing good again, then got some bad/sad family news and my crutch is to numb the pain with alcohol. Does not fix it, sad is still sad.

I not giving up on myself and what is different this time is open and honest discussion with my wife and no hiding anything. I have to get this for myself and those I love. On Day 2 and really want this.
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Old 01-22-2020, 10:44 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Congrats on Day 2! I'm on day 21 after the most horrible Christmas of drinking. It's crazy how we can feel so committed to sobriety and then as time moves on we forget and start rationalizing. That's why I'm posting every day. It keeps me fresh.

Like you I really opened up to my spouse this time. You should see us now, after just 21 days of me being off alcohol it's like we have a new life.

You can do this!
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Old 01-22-2020, 12:19 PM   #3 (permalink)
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You have to do this for yourself. I have a wife , kids that didnít stop me. Made so many promises failed them all. Put the drink down and donít pick up no matter what. Get a plan. A support group and a program. Could be AA, or many other programs out there. My talk was cheap , my actions had to be true. It gets better.
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Old 01-22-2020, 12:24 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by RikerNY View Post
Well... had been doing well...then The holidays came and I slipped. 'Just one drink... how can that hurt...' then another and you all know how that goes. Reset Christmas day and was doing good again, then got some bad/sad family news and my crutch is to numb the pain with alcohol. Does not fix it, sad is still sad.

I not giving up on myself and what is different this time is open and honest discussion with my wife and no hiding anything. I have to get this for myself and those I love. On Day 2 and really want this.
Hi Riker (and Sober45, my pal, and Kdon853).

Welcome Riker. I'm new here, not a member as long as you and the others. Today is my Day 21, just like S45, which is partially responsible for our paldom, I suppose, though we have found we have a couple of other traits in common, or at least they're complementary.*

* jr, as S45 has learned, fancies himself a word-nik (less charitably a compulsive perfectionist self-editor) so when writing, he constantly interrupts his flow to obsess, and look up, stuff like, Is it complimentary? Or complementary? They are both perfectly good words, problem is, one of them has the right meaning for the asterisked sentence, and the other doesn't, and jr can never remember which is which. This time, in his new-found sobriety, he's throwing self-interruption to the winds, and sticking with two-e complementary, his first choice.

S45, jr, and greater SobeRlandia welcome you back, Riker.

I love the second paragraph of your post, you might want to make it your mantra, if you're into that sort of thing.

I love, in a way, the first paragraph, too, even though I wouldn't advise anyone to make it their mantra, no matter what they're into. I love the first paragraph because I am a fan of the truth, and para. 1 rings true (so does para. 2, as I say below). Acknowledgement of the truth about oneself, I am finding based on personal experience, is key to advancing the process of sowing the seeds of re-writing that truth so it comports with the reality the truth-teller aspires to (again, this is based on my own experience, observation, and contemplation, but I think it applies more generally).

But para. 2! Therein lies the future, I think. Openness and honesty with your wife and with yourself, in other words a clear-eyed commitment to truth, is key to your success.

Do you also have practical, in-the-moment plans to avoid impulsive regretful actions? You may want to think about developing, or reinforcing, such plans. Other components of a support system? People you can call? 12-step or other meetings? We are all different, but most people rely on a variety of components to help them face the challenges to maintaining sobriety. I have learned here on SR that if you let the SR community know you'd like help in coming up with such plans there is a wealth of experience for you to draw from.

Hope to see you here regularly.
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Old 01-22-2020, 12:49 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi riker and congratulations on day 2
Alcohol doesn't help with any news, be it happy or sad as you know. But you are now 2 days sober and that is fantastic.
You have to want to get sober for yourself. It's great being honest with your wife and having that support but ultimately you have to really want it for you.
I almost lost my husband and children but that still weren't enough. I had to hit my rock bottom before I got sober. Even now 8 months on I don't know if my marriage can survive but I stay sober every day for me.
You can do this. Sober life is fantastic!
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Old 01-22-2020, 01:26 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Hey man better late than never you can do this. In my case I lost everything.marriage job.house hey what better excuse to booze right? Eeeeh wrong! Big time . So 263 days ago I threw the towel in. Yes us boozers are stubborn and can put up a good fight . But it got old I gave up. Best desision I ever made. My life is much better . but the damage is done for me. All I can do is move forward and just make that a memory. A life lesson if you will. ✌
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Old 01-22-2020, 03:12 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I not giving up on myself and what is different this time is open and honest discussion with my wife and no hiding anything.
Having that talk with my wife triggered my will to get sober. It saved my life. Good for you for being transparent. Looking forward to your updates, Riker!
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Old 01-22-2020, 03:48 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Open and honest discussion is good but I'd also look at the reasons you relapsed top make a really good, right recovery action plan.

What can you do when you get bad news instead?
What better response can you give when that it's just one drink thought starts up?

what other changes can you make in your life to better reflect your desire to be sober?

D
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Old 01-22-2020, 04:28 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Thanks all...and yes D...need to address what happens when bad news comes. Have to mitigate knee jerk reaction. Appreciate the support. I KNOW it is the right thing to do...and have had good success...need to plan better and prepare better
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Old 01-22-2020, 04:46 PM   #10 (permalink)
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this is a good recovery action plan link
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
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Old 01-23-2020, 07:31 AM   #11 (permalink)
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You can do this RikerNY!!
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Old 01-24-2020, 05:33 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Hey...hope you are doing ok.
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Old 01-24-2020, 04:45 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Checking In... Doing well on Day 4. Feeling good. found the info on recovery plan good. Working on defining a plan. One thing is exercise. Walking several miles keeps me busy... and feeling good...and accomplished.

Appreciate all the support...and we can all get thru this.
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Old 01-24-2020, 05:04 PM   #14 (permalink)
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thanks for the update riker

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