Originally Posted by
RikerNY 
Well... had been doing well...then The holidays came and I slipped. 'Just one drink... how can that hurt...' then another and you all know how that goes. Reset Christmas day and was doing good again, then got some bad/sad family news and my crutch is to numb the pain with alcohol. Does not fix it, sad is still sad.
I not giving up on myself and what is different this time is open and honest discussion with my wife and no hiding anything. I have to get this for myself and those I love. On Day 2 and really want this.
Hi Riker (and Sober45, my pal, and Kdon853).
Welcome Riker. I'm new here, not a member as long as you and the others. Today is my Day 21, just like S45, which is partially responsible for our paldom, I suppose, though we have found we have a couple of other traits in common, or at least they're complementary.*
* jr, as S45 has learned, fancies himself a word-nik (less charitably a compulsive perfectionist self-editor) so when writing, he constantly interrupts his flow to obsess, and look up, stuff like, Is it complimentary? Or complementary? They are both perfectly good words, problem is, one of them has the right meaning for the asterisked sentence, and the other doesn't, and jr can never remember which is which. This time, in his new-found sobriety, he's throwing self-interruption to the winds, and sticking with two-e complementary, his first choice.
S45, jr, and greater SobeRlandia welcome you back, Riker.
I love the second paragraph of your post, you might want to make it your mantra, if you're into that sort of thing.
I love, in a way, the first paragraph, too, even though I wouldn't advise anyone to make it their mantra, no matter what they're into. I love the first paragraph because I am a fan of the truth, and para. 1 rings true (so does para. 2, as I say below). Acknowledgement of the truth about oneself, I am finding based on personal experience, is key to advancing the process of sowing the seeds of re-writing that truth so it comports with the reality the truth-teller aspires to (again, this is based on my own experience, observation, and contemplation, but I think it applies more generally).
But para. 2! Therein lies the future, I think. Openness and honesty with your wife and with yourself, in other words a clear-eyed commitment to truth, is key to your success.
Do you also have practical, in-the-moment plans to avoid impulsive regretful actions? You may want to think about developing, or reinforcing, such plans. Other components of a support system? People you can call? 12-step or other meetings? We are all different, but most people rely on a variety of components to help them face the challenges to maintaining sobriety. I have learned here on SR that if you let the SR community know you'd like help in coming up with such plans there is a wealth of experience for you to draw from.
Hope to see you here regularly.