BackandScared

I don't know you but I am really happy to hear you getting into day 5 with a positive mindset. I always read your post. The contrast between your understanding of alcohol addiction and how badly you treat yourself (contradicting every advice you know about) is striking.

You also know you are likely to re-engage the cycle of treating yourself as a PoS as you call it. I would say talking to your boss when you are this vulnerable is not a great idea. If the conversation does not go the way you want to (it rarely does when you don't have the same power) it may become the kind of trigger you can't overcome, because you will feel you don't deserve whatever it is you are trying to get.

Self-care is fundamental. It is true. If you manage to look after yourself you will make it. You will not want to self-destruct with alcohol, no matter how **** you feel.

ThatWasTheOldMe

I talked to my boss.
I don't respect him because of the way he treats his employees (tools to increase personal wealth instead of human beings), his views on minority rights, some borderline racist stuff he says, the fact that he regularly hunts endangered species in Africa, and his insatiable greed.

I'm just using him as a tool to better my own financial situation so I can be less stressed and focus on my recovery - and by extension, help others recover.

The talk went well. And if I stay sober, I should be able to achieve that goal.

ThatWasTheOldMe

And yes, I am quite vulnerable right now.

Zucc36

Can totally relate to the sleep improving. Its so great the difference between passing out and getting real rest. Good on you for finding a meeting and people you like. In my first year, i worked a couple months without a program, and found it way harder then, working with one.

Sounds like you are really locked in on recovery, keept it up, keep posting, and you will see life gets better.

ThatWasTheOldMe

I plan to keep this thread active as my accountability thread.

I'm going back to AA tonight.
Work all day followed by AA in the evening leaves no time for potential drinky drinky thoughts to turn into drinky drinky actions.

Tomorrow I'm building my dad a computer (gotta go buy parts) and going to AA. Still working on Sunday plans.

dpac414

Sounds like a good start! Just make sure you're working on recovery and not just keeping yourself busy. The latter can be part of the former, but you need to be able to have tools to fall back on when you're inevitably not busy.

Glad the talk with the boss went well. Improving your financial situation should make a lot of things easier.

Dee74

You're sounding great Chris

D

ThatWasTheOldMe

Walking into a meeting now.

ThatWasTheOldMe

Ah yes - waking up to day 6.
I slept a real sleep last night.

thomas11

Good job, inspiring thread. Good attitude about your boss, you are using him as a tool to improve your situation. Keep it going.

ThatWasTheOldMe

Today is my day 7.

JJ9

You are inspiring me so much! Congratulations on day 7! You sound so happy! I can’t wait to get to that happy place!

Abraham

Good job at 1 week. feels great dont it?

ThatWasTheOldMe

Off to another meeting here in a few minutes.

Dee74

Well done Chris

ThatWasTheOldMe

Day 8 today - at work.
This is so much better than drinking. I can function. I can answer questions from customers. I don't feel like I need to throw up all day. Alcohol was absolutely crippling me with anxiety, and I thought I was hiding it. Haha - I wasn't hiding it.

nez

Yeah I remember thinking I was hiding my drinking, when in actuality all I was doing was hiding the mirror so that I couldn't see myself as I was.

Enjoy day 8. Good job!

Bonniefloyd

ThatWasTheOldMe

My life is mostly the same. But the way I look at it in this clear state of mind is fundamentally different from when I'm drinking (even between binges).

CupofJoe

Glad you're doing better!