In the middle of a five-way drama.... making me drink again - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 02-18-2019, 04:35 AM   #1 (permalink)
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In the middle of a five-way drama.... making me drink again


Person 1 (Her): Someone who says she loves me. She says she just wants me, want to spend time with me. She was here, in my apartment for 5 days, but really, we just enabled each other.

Person 2: Her sister, who she has cut off, as, according to her, she(the sister) likes to create drama

Person 3: Her mother. Who doesn't like me of course, because I'm an alcoholic.

Person 4: Her brother. I Don't think I made a very good first impression.

Person 5 would be me.

So yeah it is stressfull, and now I am sitting her with a couple beers....
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Old 02-18-2019, 04:42 AM   #2 (permalink)
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How are you going to solve this problem you are facing? What solutions is the beer offering you today?
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Old 02-18-2019, 04:43 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Seems like Persons 1-4 are fairly irrelevant here. If this is not the way you want to go on living then would encourage you to pour out the beers and if not that sober up as quickly as you can so you can deal with drama, real or manufactured, with your wits about you.

Sending you support.
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Old 02-18-2019, 04:53 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I remember drama like that.
I haven't been in a comparable situation since I got sober

You know what my advice is polaroid - pull up the drawbridge and get yourself sober man.

D
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Old 02-18-2019, 05:00 AM   #5 (permalink)
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How are you going to solve this problem you are facing? What solutions is the beer offering you today?
Makes me forget s.....t.

But I don't think it's long until I go to detox/rehab yet again, and I dread it.
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Old 02-18-2019, 05:05 AM   #6 (permalink)
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No one can make you drink again apart from you. You decide whether you drink again. Yes you're angry, annoyed, resentful etc but drinking AT other people isn't hurting them, just you.
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Old 02-18-2019, 05:05 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Seems like Persons 1-4 are fairly irrelevant here. If this is not the way you want to go on living then would encourage you to pour out the beers and if not that sober up as quickly as you can so you can deal with drama, real or manufactured, with your wits about you.

Sending you support.
I can't pour it out. I cannot quit cold turkey. I have a history of seizures. (Close to death a couple years ago). I am tapering.
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Old 02-18-2019, 05:07 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Thank you for your post. Itís a good reminder of the insanity of alcoholism. I pray you are able to get sober. 💕
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Old 02-18-2019, 05:10 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I remember drama like that.
I haven't been in a comparable situation since I got sober

You know what my advice is polaroid - pull up the drawbridge and get yourself sober man.

D
Yes, that's what I am trying to do. It's hard, but I have medications and such that work against seizures which I am so scared of.

Afterwards, comes PAWS. I get so depressed I don't know what is better....

I am typing this in a few seconds (I am just so pissed), sorry if I make no sense.
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Old 02-18-2019, 05:13 AM   #10 (permalink)
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No one can make you drink again apart from you. You decide whether you drink again. Yes you're angry, annoyed, resentful etc but drinking AT other people isn't hurting them, just you.
Like all alcoholics, I have an excuse.

I know it is stupid. I know I'm dumb.

Better to feel pissed off than feeling this anxiety I am struggling with....

I am sorry you all...
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Old 02-18-2019, 05:35 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I remember drama like that.
I'm not used to it.... And the last thing I need is s**t thrown in my face...

I am very emotional, (too) humble and a good&nice person (at least I think so), but.... f**

I am gonna get sober, I promise you, SR.
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Old 02-18-2019, 06:07 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I think what Dee is saying Polaroid is he remembers being in the exact same shoes you are wearing, as we all do. We have all been where you are and I know for me the amount of drama that was in my life at the time was way to much for me. No-one is saying they are better than you or we have such wonderful lives, we just want you to know we understand exactly how you are feeling.

Don't promise us, promise yourself, do it for yourself as you deserve a sober drama free life and it can happen and will happen for you if you put the work into your recovery. x
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Old 02-18-2019, 06:08 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I am gonna get sober, I promise you

I am gonna get sober, I promise Me


( that's the promise that matters, breaking the promise to SR only affects you, promise yourself you deserve it)

rootin for ya
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Old 02-18-2019, 06:12 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Bluntly, disengage from the drama. Completely.
Go to the ER or dr or whatever to get you sober, if you don't want to go cold turkey.
Stop drinking and don't get any beers or other alcohol.
Get IRL help.

Up to you to make the decision - and it's not anyone else's doing.
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Old 02-18-2019, 06:50 AM   #15 (permalink)
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FIrstly, I hope you can ween yourself off safely. But to your point, alcohol invites drama. DRama compounds existing problems. Vicious cycle.
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Old 02-18-2019, 08:11 AM   #16 (permalink)
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This is why I stay single. Single doesn't mean alone. Just less drama.
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Old 02-18-2019, 08:20 AM   #17 (permalink)
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It's easy to think of/find/create reasons to drink.

It's just as easy to think of/find/create reasons not to drink.

Try making a habit of thinking of three reasons not to drink every time you think of one reason to drink. Try a cost/benefits analysis: List all the pros for drinking, and then all the cons. You'll find the pros are mostly short term benefits with costs. Try listing all the pros for not drinking and all the cons for not drinking. You'll find the pros for sobriety are often long term and outweigh the cons.

Try listing everything that's important to you, like health, family, fun, freedom, success... Then ask:

What am I doing to address or get more of what I want - what's important to me?

What am I doing that is helping? What's not helping?

What have I not tried? What else could I do that might help?

Then, make a plan to create a life based on what you value - what's truly important. This, in part, means doing more of what helps, stop doing what gets in the way, and trying things that maybe you haven't tried before that could help.

It's about building motivation. Like Einstein said, crazy is doing the same thing and expecting different results...
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Old 02-18-2019, 08:22 AM   #18 (permalink)
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I'm not used to it.... And the last thing I need is s**t thrown in my face...
Setting boundaries is very important, especially early on. I understand it's difficult but it's necessary.

As they say it takes two to tango, drama is no different. You can choose to be involved or not. Certainly relationships make it more difficult, but even then it's entirely acceptable to cut off communications. Getting off social media and blocking numbers on your phone is an entirely acceptable solution too.
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Old 02-18-2019, 08:25 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Polaroid - I'm so glad you wanted to talk about what's going on.

We believe in you & your ability to reclaim your life from alcohol. I leaned on it for decades & it never helped me solve a single problem. It just caused me to procrastinate & remain stuck on square one. You can get free - look forward to a new & better life ahead.
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A little voice deep inside me said, "Hello, I am here." It was a small voice, & sounded as if it were buried underneath the cushions of my couch. It was my soul...I had forgotten it.

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Old 02-18-2019, 09:16 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Okay, I've taken a nap (it is just so exhausting) and am, like, well... ~75% sober now.

Thank you all for your support - You are right, alcohol doesn't solve problems, it creates them.

I just don't know what to say to "her" (person 1), without hurting her feelings. She is the one that creates drama out of nothing. Says she has cut contact with her mother, sister.... because of me? What....
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