theVman31

Welcome to the weekender and to SR BlueWellies.

Thank you Kathy (Gilmer) for trach's news. That sounds really good to hear. I'm delighted for him. Once again thank you for posting that.

Congratulations on 2 months Darkling

Salutations to all you weekender warriors... The toughest few days of the year temptation wise may be over the next few days as Sao so often says... So stay close stay safe.. Stay in control.

Happy 22nd of December

Vinny.

andyh

thanks Bim, that made me smile

& thanks everyone else too

it's a tough time of year, but this thread is here if you're struggling or just want to check in

MidnightBlue

Hi, weekenders.

Andy - I think I didn't give you my congrats on your great achievement! Better late than never!

Canadian Koala

Can I join you guys for this first winter weekend!

MantaLady

Morning lovely Weekenders! Had a great sleep after my relaxing movie and cheese and crackers evening. It's also a big relief to know I don't have to go into the city till 2nd January and won't be constantly seeing drinking and bars and parties, I found that really tough and it definetely tested my metal over the past few weeks.

I have also realised after working for 3 weeks now that I need a better plan/routine. Things at home started to slide, I didn't wash up every day so everything in the kitchen piled up and it became a mess. My plan to make good food for work fell by the wayside after a week as I was so tired and then I got lazy and overwhelmed. I did very little if any exercise, didn't meditate etc. I pretty much stopped actively working on recovery and went into running on self will mode and white knuckling to get through these 3 weeks. What I have noticed more than anything is that operating back in that self will headspace left me vunerable to addictive thinking patterns that became overwhemling, the negative self talk and paranoia came back a little louder, putting myself down and believeing I am not good enough and I can't do this also became a dafult theme in my thinking. I know better, I have tools to use, I have to change what I am doing and get smarter for 2019.

So with that in mind I am going to start the washing up in the kitchen which has morphed into a heaving mass made up of every single piece of cuttlery and crockery I own!

xx

MantaLady

Hey KC! Lovely to see you dropping by on the weekenders thread Hope all is well with you xx

Gilmer

ML, you will feel unbelievably empowered when you start chipping away at that kitchen mess. It will seem ridiculous and disproportionate, but it will really give you a blast of energy and encouragement.

It will color the rest of your day much brighter. I hope you can squeeze a brief nap in there, too.

gettingsmarter

I'm in

Gilmer

Hi, Gettingsmarter!

gettingsmarter

Going to see our local symphony play the whole Star Wars (A New Hope) soundtrack against the movie playing in the background tonight. I'm totally excited!

Gilmer

Wow! What an experience!

MantaLady

It's funny how when you get sober you can see how you behaved whilst in active addiction wasn't what you thought it was.

I used to have situations where people did try to support me and I did lean on them, but when I relapsed I just stopped talking to them out of shame really. I felt such a failure and thought they would not want to speak to me anyway. I am now on the other side and I feel bad now as I was quite close recovery wise to someone who I worried about a lot too. They relapsed (as I had done many times) and are back around in the recovery circles but they haven't contacted me or let me know they are ok. My feelings are hurt. Now I know how some of the people that supported me inbetween relapses that I just cut off must have felt and it's not a nice feeling. I am just happy this person is giving it another shot and keeps trying, they deserve better for themselves and all I can do is still be open and available if they ever do get back in touch xx

biminiblue

If I don't do dishes immediately after eating they nag at me. The food gives me energy to do them, so I have to do them when I bring the dishes to the kitchen.

Clean sink. aaaaahhh. One of the joys of life.

Cheese and crackers, too. I'm going to buy some for New Years. It's hard to stop eating it before I'm stuffed, though. But New Years is worth it, so that's what I'll do!

I'll be glad when Christmas is over. Not my favorite.

CaptainHaddock

I’m glad to see you again Koala, gettingsmarter and John.

Hats off to you Andy on a year and a half.

Thanks also for the good news on Trachemys, Gilmer. I’m a bit curious, did he send you a good old fashioned handwritten letter, because I think he said he won’t have access to email?

SnazzyDresser

I eat cheese and crackers every single day lately, I really do. 31 grams of Wheat Thins and 19 grams of extra sharp cheddar. Often with 1oz of beef jerky if I have it. And funny thing about the dishes, I only use paper plates and plastic utensils to avoid any cleanup. A little eccentric of me! That's the nice way of saying crazy as a bedbug.

MantaLady

This is exactly how I feel now I am trying to have 40 winks this afternoon, Alfie my cat is taking all the sleeping space!

biminiblue

Yeah, see, I'm compulsive about food. If there are eight servings of wheat thins (Triscuit for the win) Imma eat four servings now and four servings later today. Oh, and I'll weigh them, too. But it's more like 120g of crackers and 80g of cheese. They (crackers) are trigger foods for me. So is good aged cheese.

I've tried to learn moderation with my trigger foods. It ain't happenin'.

MantaLady

I hear ya Bim! Cheese and biscuits are trigger foods for me...hence just munching my way through another plate of the good stuff before I take my nap

Gilmer

Yes, Captain, Trach sent me a good, old-fashioned, pen and ink letter.

dafunbra