I could use a friend
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I hope the week will be good for you Snuf. It might even help to decide what you need to do about what sounds t me like a pretty dangerous life right now?
Welcome back Lascaux - I hope you stick around
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Welcome back Lascaux - I hope you stick around
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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
Finally have enough strengh to write a little huh. I'm feeling a bit better today. I slept for so long, it's 4pm and I only just woke up... I was going to visit my family today, but I'm not even packed yet, so I'll have to go tomorrow instead. It's ok...
You can't imagine how happy I am to read your post, Lascaux! 
I've missed you, old friend! Sorry to hear you're also struggling.... My brain feels like scrambled eggs and I don't have much to say, but I reallllly hope you're gonna stay here with me & try again.
Originally Posted by Lascaux 
Hello, Snuf, I'm checking in for the first time in a long while because I saw your post. I've been a miserable failure ever since leaving SR - binge drinking every day, but I wanted to check in and offer my support. You're a wonderfully creative person and you deserve to walk a better path. Best wishes and hopes that you find whatever tools you need to stay on it!
I've missed you, old friend! Sorry to hear you're also struggling.... My brain feels like scrambled eggs and I don't have much to say, but I reallllly hope you're gonna stay here with me & try again. 
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
Originally Posted by MidnightBlue
Hi, Snufkin.
Sorry to hear you've been through so much pain.
I wonder, if you don't mind me asking, if there is some deep and disturbing trauma which stems from earlier stages of your life which keeps pushing you to self-destructive behaviour?
It's really important to deal with underlying reasons and finally set yourself free.
Sorry to bring it up - just talking from my experience.
Hugs to you.
Sorry to hear you've been through so much pain.
I wonder, if you don't mind me asking, if there is some deep and disturbing trauma which stems from earlier stages of your life which keeps pushing you to self-destructive behaviour?
It's really important to deal with underlying reasons and finally set yourself free.
Sorry to bring it up - just talking from my experience.
Hugs to you.
Sorry I didn't reply earlier, but I thought a lot about what you said... Nothing particularly traumatic happened to me before I started drinking. I've been a hopeless perfectionist since early childhood, started to expierience severe social anxiety in primary school... steadily losing confidence etc... But I don't know what could possibly cause all this... craziness.Thank you so much for being here for me.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,373
Merry Christmas guys!
Just checking in, I’m with my family now, safe and sober... I am so exhausted I didn’t manage to stay up for long, and I went to sleep early in the evening... I’m a little uncomfortable and trying to hide... I did my best but I know I don’t look well lol, and my Dad seemed to be a little concerned.
I have painful drinking thoughts when I think about my last week, I just can’t stop feeling ashamed... I’m worried about my health. Sigh. Hopefully I can end this cycle once and for all.
Oh, I got some kickass presents.
New tablet for my digital doodles and an aweeeeesome rotary machine! Can’t wait to start using iiiit
Just checking in, I’m with my family now, safe and sober... I am so exhausted I didn’t manage to stay up for long, and I went to sleep early in the evening... I’m a little uncomfortable and trying to hide... I did my best but I know I don’t look well lol, and my Dad seemed to be a little concerned.
I have painful drinking thoughts when I think about my last week, I just can’t stop feeling ashamed... I’m worried about my health. Sigh. Hopefully I can end this cycle once and for all.
Oh, I got some kickass presents.
New tablet for my digital doodles and an aweeeeesome rotary machine! Can’t wait to start using iiiit
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Merry Christmas, little Snufkin. I still think of you while I'm incommunicado at the rehab farm. I wish you had this kind of opportunity. Please take care of yourself for me until I get internet access full-time again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
I've read your posts Snufkin and I'm pretty sure you've replied to mine in the past.
Please don't beat yourself up over this. You've slipped up and it's sent you on a downward spiral. The last year of my addiction was quite similar in some regards. Periods of sobriety, then slip ups. I also used to self harm and cut my arms with razor blades. I call these scars "battle wounds" because I only self harmed when I was drinking alcohol.
You have so much more life left so please stay with us and fight on. It may take many failures before you succeed but the one thing you have is a desire and willingness to quit. You know what I'm telling you, you've done it before.
As someone who has tried to take his own life as a result of issues caused by alcohol all I can say is you have a purpose here. You literally have nothing to lose by sticking around and kicking this habit once and for all.
A little story. Throughout my relationship with my ex I drank daily. I was mid 20's drinking a lot. That was over 10 years ago. I remember hitting forums back then trying to stop and finding it very hard.
Now I am mid 30's and the only voluntary long lasting sobriety I have committed to is now. At the age of 34.
You are welcome to message me in private any time you like if you just need someone to chat to.
Please don't beat yourself up over this. You've slipped up and it's sent you on a downward spiral. The last year of my addiction was quite similar in some regards. Periods of sobriety, then slip ups. I also used to self harm and cut my arms with razor blades. I call these scars "battle wounds" because I only self harmed when I was drinking alcohol.
You have so much more life left so please stay with us and fight on. It may take many failures before you succeed but the one thing you have is a desire and willingness to quit. You know what I'm telling you, you've done it before.
As someone who has tried to take his own life as a result of issues caused by alcohol all I can say is you have a purpose here. You literally have nothing to lose by sticking around and kicking this habit once and for all.
A little story. Throughout my relationship with my ex I drank daily. I was mid 20's drinking a lot. That was over 10 years ago. I remember hitting forums back then trying to stop and finding it very hard.
Now I am mid 30's and the only voluntary long lasting sobriety I have committed to is now. At the age of 34.
You are welcome to message me in private any time you like if you just need someone to chat to.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
Oh I forgot to add Snufkin although I've kicked an alcoholic habbit I am still very much dealing with a cannabis habit. So in a way I'm a hypocrite, but thankfully nobody is perfect and one bad thing doesn't negate the good.
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