Originally Posted by orderfororder

Wow, dafunbra. If I received 37 e-mails from anyone I'd feel stressed, let alone from an ex who I've had a bad falling out with. Glad you stayed strong. I think you'll find that times where it is stereotypical for others to drink (times of high stress) are the absolute best times to stay sober. This way, you can let the external craziness pile up on itself rather than getting drunk and possibly participating in it.

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Today is 51 days for me. I had to go back and count because I had stopped counting. The number is nice to know, but what is more important to me is my dedication to stop drinking. I don't think about drinking much these days except for when I'm bored, but even then the thought isn't a temptation, but rather a reminder of the state of things: "time seems slower because you're used to drinking to pass the time."

I keep myself busy, work hard. Not worried about parties nor do I have a "fear of missing out." Christmas and New Years will be fine. There will be parties upon parties until the end of time, I can miss a few. I'm not ready to go back into those environments yet. Having all of this sober time has really led me back to figuring out who I am, something I seem to have tried to put off by staying drunk. The journey has just begun, it feels like.

Originally Posted by Bonniefloyd

Okay, I'm going to try this venting thing and see if it helps me feel better. This is going to be long and probably incoherent. Here goes:

My 8-year-old little girl wants to do an activity. My husband said yes, and he told me to go ahead and sign her up. Oh, she was so excited. Wouldn't stop talking about it. Then yesterday, just as we were going to go, he starts back pedaling. It costs a lot of money, the times aren't convenient, and so on.

Okay, he had all the information he needed to make a decision at the time when he gave the okay. If we can afford going out to eat as often as we do, we can afford this. If cost is an issue, how about we cut out one of those restaurant visits each weekend.

And the timing issue is just nonsense, since I would be the one taking her.

It would be good for her, and she doesn't have an activity outside of school. We've been talking about this for a long time, and he agreed with me that we should find something healthy and fun for her to do.

It would be different if this were a one-time thing. Okay, so you need more time to think things over sometimes, I get that. But for **** sake, do we have to do this over everything?

I'm used to him doing **** like this and letting people down, but I can't take her disappointed little face. She doesn't ask for much, and she probably will learn to stop asking for anything if she knows her parents' words mean nothing. Because I told her that I would sign her up, thinking my husband was cool with it. You know, because he ****** SAID he was cool with it.

I'm sure he was drinking when he initially agreed that she could do this. Which is why I brought it up several times, to make sure he remembered and actually meant what he said for once.

It's as if he has no clue what if feels like to be a little kid excited to do something. And of course we say no to lots of things, and kids need to learn to deal. But don't keep saying yes and then changing it to no. How is she supposed to trust us if our words mean nothing?

No, I'm not letting this one go, **** that. I'm going to calmly remind him of our previous conversations, and unless unforeseen circumstances have come up (they haven't), he needs to keep his word.

*SIGH* I'm so tired of this.

Originally Posted by Jillian2563

Originally Posted by Chaisson

TJ - I like your introspection and decision to not make a move until your sobriety is stronger. Those with longer-term sobriety seem to say we shouldn't take on too much or make any big life changes this early on. I know I've got some weighty life decisions to make but want more sober time and clarity of mind under my belt.