Halloween Weekender Thread 26-29 October 2018
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi Manta and Tetra 
And hi to all the weekenders
And thanks to you ALL for being here
Gilmer
your hugs made me cry ❤️ but in a good way that gave me release. You know when you’re trying to hold it together and be strong but you’re actually feeling really dreadful and on the verge of having a meltdown and then someone hugs you or does something kind for you and you just lose it? But the flood of tears is cleansing and gives you some much needed release.
Thanks MB and PJ and everyone else here ❤️ I know that losing our parents is sadly part of life, and we all go through losing loved ones. But I guess it still didn’t prepare me for the enormity of it. I really feel for you all, who have lost those dear to you ❤️
D, I like what you said about the purpose of life being to leave a footprint, make a difference. I just need to figure out what that is for me. It’s hard making decisions about my future when I can’t think straight for sadness. My job has finished and I need to find a new job but I have no clue what I really want. It’s like I’ve been so sozzled with alcohol all of my adult life that I haven’t ever really worked out what I want to do with my life. Now I’m finally sober but my mind is overwhelmed with grief and I still can’t figure it out. But I will have to figure something out soon and get a new job. The bills still need to be paid after all. The AV tries to tell me to just go and get drunk and forget about it all, and that has been my default coping mechanism for everything hard in my life for the last 35 years, right up until May 14th, but I know that will only make things that much worse.
MB I was really interested to read about the capacity to feel more than one emotion simultaneously. And guilt has been a big one that keeps coming up too. I’m trying to let it go because I know it’s a not helpful emotion. Most of my guilty feelings I know are irrational too, but they still sneak in.
I know I am grateful to have had loving parents in my life for a long time, which sadly not everyone gets to experience. But the pain of losing them is still so raw. I guess with time it will ease. It’s been 10 weeks since Mum died, and I was still in shock from losing her so suddenly when Dad died too.
I went to a talk on grief and resilience last night and it was quite interesting. Basically she said that grief doesn’t go away, we don’t “get over it” but we learn to get through it, we learn to live with it and find a “new normal” without the person/people being there. And in order to deal with grief we need to behave in ways that lead us towards resilience, and our thoughts will follow our behaviour, then our feelings will follow our thoughts. Things like being proactive and getting on with our lives, eating well, exercising, taking a positive attitude, looking for the good in things, being grateful, all this helps lead to positive thinking and hence more positive feelings. That’s the theory anyway. Kind of like fake it till you make it perhaps. I feel like I’ve been doing that my whole life. But then I also wonder, am I just pretending to be ok? Is that really healthy? Is that not just covering up my emotions? Will they then manifest later in some awful way? Ah I don’t know, I’m probably overthinking everything like I usually do, too much overanalysing and philosophy for so early in the morning, I need more coffee...
I hope you all have a wonderful day
And hi to all the weekenders
And thanks to you ALL for being here
Gilmer
your hugs made me cry ❤️ but in a good way that gave me release. You know when you’re trying to hold it together and be strong but you’re actually feeling really dreadful and on the verge of having a meltdown and then someone hugs you or does something kind for you and you just lose it? But the flood of tears is cleansing and gives you some much needed release. Thanks MB and PJ and everyone else here ❤️ I know that losing our parents is sadly part of life, and we all go through losing loved ones. But I guess it still didn’t prepare me for the enormity of it. I really feel for you all, who have lost those dear to you ❤️
D, I like what you said about the purpose of life being to leave a footprint, make a difference. I just need to figure out what that is for me. It’s hard making decisions about my future when I can’t think straight for sadness. My job has finished and I need to find a new job but I have no clue what I really want. It’s like I’ve been so sozzled with alcohol all of my adult life that I haven’t ever really worked out what I want to do with my life. Now I’m finally sober but my mind is overwhelmed with grief and I still can’t figure it out. But I will have to figure something out soon and get a new job. The bills still need to be paid after all. The AV tries to tell me to just go and get drunk and forget about it all, and that has been my default coping mechanism for everything hard in my life for the last 35 years, right up until May 14th, but I know that will only make things that much worse.
MB I was really interested to read about the capacity to feel more than one emotion simultaneously. And guilt has been a big one that keeps coming up too. I’m trying to let it go because I know it’s a not helpful emotion. Most of my guilty feelings I know are irrational too, but they still sneak in.
I know I am grateful to have had loving parents in my life for a long time, which sadly not everyone gets to experience. But the pain of losing them is still so raw. I guess with time it will ease. It’s been 10 weeks since Mum died, and I was still in shock from losing her so suddenly when Dad died too.
I went to a talk on grief and resilience last night and it was quite interesting. Basically she said that grief doesn’t go away, we don’t “get over it” but we learn to get through it, we learn to live with it and find a “new normal” without the person/people being there. And in order to deal with grief we need to behave in ways that lead us towards resilience, and our thoughts will follow our behaviour, then our feelings will follow our thoughts. Things like being proactive and getting on with our lives, eating well, exercising, taking a positive attitude, looking for the good in things, being grateful, all this helps lead to positive thinking and hence more positive feelings. That’s the theory anyway. Kind of like fake it till you make it perhaps. I feel like I’ve been doing that my whole life. But then I also wonder, am I just pretending to be ok? Is that really healthy? Is that not just covering up my emotions? Will they then manifest later in some awful way? Ah I don’t know, I’m probably overthinking everything like I usually do, too much overanalysing and philosophy for so early in the morning, I need more coffee...
I hope you all have a wonderful day
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Morning, weekenders.
It's taking me a little too long to really wake up into functioning mode today.
Vinny - good spooky picture)
Willow - I think Keanu Reeves said that pain doesn't go away, it just changes form. Maybe so.
As for "faking till making" I see it as taking proper care of yourself as if circumstances were "perfect", if you achieved some ephemeral "bliss" (to be honest I am quite sick of this word because every other person talks about it as some form of ultimate spiritual existence to chase around), nothing bothers you, nothing makes you sad or angry - you just take this life as it is and flow.
The trick is to let real emotions emerge and manifest without putting a smiley face on them, and still thriving for the best realization of your life, I think.
I need less philosophy and more fun in life, for sure.
Have a great one, weekenders.
It's taking me a little too long to really wake up into functioning mode today.
Vinny - good spooky picture)
Willow - I think Keanu Reeves said that pain doesn't go away, it just changes form. Maybe so.
As for "faking till making" I see it as taking proper care of yourself as if circumstances were "perfect", if you achieved some ephemeral "bliss" (to be honest I am quite sick of this word because every other person talks about it as some form of ultimate spiritual existence to chase around), nothing bothers you, nothing makes you sad or angry - you just take this life as it is and flow.
The trick is to let real emotions emerge and manifest without putting a smiley face on them, and still thriving for the best realization of your life, I think.
I need less philosophy and more fun in life, for sure.
Have a great one, weekenders.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 6,831
Good morning everyone..
I quite like that pumpkin pic Vman. A stormy night in the forecast for tomorrow around here so the little goblins may be out of luck for trick or treating.
Feels a bit like Monday but I’m sure a cuppa will sort my mind a bit. Still much better than a workweek hangover. Those were getting all too common a few years back.
Wishing everyone the best day.
I quite like that pumpkin pic Vman. A stormy night in the forecast for tomorrow around here so the little goblins may be out of luck for trick or treating.
Feels a bit like Monday but I’m sure a cuppa will sort my mind a bit. Still much better than a workweek hangover. Those were getting all too common a few years back.
Wishing everyone the best day.
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,764
That was a good post Tetra, You've come a long way. I've always liked your posts.
Mrs.D as told she had nothing to worry about but has a follow up in 30 days anyways. Apperently it's very common as we age to get those peripheral flashes.
When my wifes Uncle suddenly passed, it was a real shock to the whole family. When I think about him, I still greive, but more often that not, I have good memories and I smile. I was heavly involved in closing up his estate and as a result learned more intimately about the life he lead. His passing is that much more saddening because he had such a rich and happy life. Heavily involved in the community, church and charities, it seemed like everyone knew him well. I've learned from his life some valuable lessons about living my own life with more appreciation and gratitude. Which I try to do each day.
When someone passes, it gives us pause to think about them and thier lives and try to take a lesson to apply to our own lives. Yes, it is a hard greiving period but we also must celebrate the lives of those lost that touched us.
hope I'm making sense....
Mrs.D as told she had nothing to worry about but has a follow up in 30 days anyways. Apperently it's very common as we age to get those peripheral flashes.
When my wifes Uncle suddenly passed, it was a real shock to the whole family. When I think about him, I still greive, but more often that not, I have good memories and I smile. I was heavly involved in closing up his estate and as a result learned more intimately about the life he lead. His passing is that much more saddening because he had such a rich and happy life. Heavily involved in the community, church and charities, it seemed like everyone knew him well. I've learned from his life some valuable lessons about living my own life with more appreciation and gratitude. Which I try to do each day.
When someone passes, it gives us pause to think about them and thier lives and try to take a lesson to apply to our own lives. Yes, it is a hard greiving period but we also must celebrate the lives of those lost that touched us.
hope I'm making sense....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Glad Mrs Dragon is okay. That was my experience with the flashes, too.
Tuesday. It's kind of a forgotten day, isn't it? No hate for it or love for it or any cute names, it just keeps its head down and minds its own business.
There's a lesson in there somewhere for me, I'm sure.
I also need coffee.
Tuesday. It's kind of a forgotten day, isn't it? No hate for it or love for it or any cute names, it just keeps its head down and minds its own business.
There's a lesson in there somewhere for me, I'm sure.
I also need coffee.
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
We all think you are doing great Willow.
You have been through testing times and you are an inspiration in how you are handling it all. Even before coffee. I think those who don't question themselves from time to time are the real losers. What is the saying, isn't it self awareness that makes us intelligent beings. Otherwise we are animal. You are doing great.
"But then I also wonder, am I just pretending to be ok? Is that really healthy? Is that not just covering up my emotions? Will they then manifest later in some awful way? Ah I don’t know, I’m probably overthinking everything like I usually do, too much overanalysing and philosophy for so early in the morning, I need more coffee..."
I will take the opportunity to wish you all a goodnight. It's cartoon time....
You have been through testing times and you are an inspiration in how you are handling it all. Even before coffee. I think those who don't question themselves from time to time are the real losers. What is the saying, isn't it self awareness that makes us intelligent beings. Otherwise we are animal. You are doing great.
"But then I also wonder, am I just pretending to be ok? Is that really healthy? Is that not just covering up my emotions? Will they then manifest later in some awful way? Ah I don’t know, I’m probably overthinking everything like I usually do, too much overanalysing and philosophy for so early in the morning, I need more coffee..."
I will take the opportunity to wish you all a goodnight. It's cartoon time....
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Evening, weekenders.
Boxing and kickboxing done.
Now I will read for a bit, meditate, and steep into the realm of Morpheus.
Good night.
Boxing and kickboxing done.
Now I will read for a bit, meditate, and steep into the realm of Morpheus.
Good night.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Thanks MB, Dragon, Vman and all of you weekenders
I’m glad MrsD is OK, what a relief for you all.
I think it’s healthy to question ourselves, to see if we’re doing the best we can. We also have to be kind to ourselves and cut ourselves some slack when things are tough. I agree, learning from others lives is really great, and a beautiful tribute to their lives if we can let some of their good traits live on in us. Both my Mum and Dad were amazing, caring, generous, compassionate and adventurous with such a huge zest for life. Such a zest that it’s hard to believe they’re gone. But I think I just need to embrace their amazingness and try to live my life in accordance with what I’ve learned from them ❤️
It’s now 7.37am on Wed of Halloween and yep, I’m off on the hunt for a nice big mug of coffee
A Happy Day to you all!
Happy
I’m glad MrsD is OK, what a relief for you all.
I think it’s healthy to question ourselves, to see if we’re doing the best we can. We also have to be kind to ourselves and cut ourselves some slack when things are tough. I agree, learning from others lives is really great, and a beautiful tribute to their lives if we can let some of their good traits live on in us. Both my Mum and Dad were amazing, caring, generous, compassionate and adventurous with such a huge zest for life. Such a zest that it’s hard to believe they’re gone. But I think I just need to embrace their amazingness and try to live my life in accordance with what I’ve learned from them ❤️
It’s now 7.37am on Wed of Halloween and yep, I’m off on the hunt for a nice big mug of coffee
A Happy Day to you all!
Happy
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
Morning weekenders.
It's Halloween time tonight...
Some trick or treating on the agenda with mini vman weather permitting...
Tomorrow is a Bank holiday here so it's a long weekend for most with most taking the day off Friday. Seen as I just got back from Hols I will be holding the fort at work.
Coffee for me.
Later weekenders
It's Halloween time tonight...
Some trick or treating on the agenda with mini vman weather permitting...
Tomorrow is a Bank holiday here so it's a long weekend for most with most taking the day off Friday. Seen as I just got back from Hols I will be holding the fort at work.
Coffee for me.
Later weekenders
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Morning, weekenders.
It's getting really cold, so more excuses for me to stay in the comfort of the home)
I hope it will be quiet at your work fort, Vinny.
It's getting really cold, so more excuses for me to stay in the comfort of the home)
I hope it will be quiet at your work fort, Vinny.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 6,831
Good morning everyone.
I think I see a Friday on the horizon., hopefully not a mirage.
No bank holidays around here and not cold yet. A long weekend has a nice ring to it, but business as usual today starting with gym time.
A good day ahead for all is the wish.
I think I see a Friday on the horizon., hopefully not a mirage.
No bank holidays around here and not cold yet. A long weekend has a nice ring to it, but business as usual today starting with gym time.
A good day ahead for all is the wish.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: In the Country
Posts: 530
Spooky Halloween is here. My home is halloweened. I have scary ghosts & skulls in my window,. Spooky sweeties in my cauldron await those who dare to ring the doorbell..........
Happy Halloween Weekenders.
Happy Halloween Weekenders.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 451
Happy Halloween Weekenders! I'm dressing up as my favorite football player, The Gronk. (I am a woman, but for tonight I'm a hulking football-playing machine!) And I'm giving out candy in our downtown, with the business owners, so it's a sober holiday for me. Truthfully, having sober distractions is critical for me, especially on holidays and weekends.
Hope everyone is hanging in there. I've been working hours and hours of overtime, and the T in HALT is really getting to me. So I'm being very careful about the AV getting an upper hand! And starting Thursday things get easier.
Sending you all my Halloween love from Vermont! And if you see a little gal dressed up as Gronkowski, say hello!
Hope everyone is hanging in there. I've been working hours and hours of overtime, and the T in HALT is really getting to me. So I'm being very careful about the AV getting an upper hand! And starting Thursday things get easier.
Sending you all my Halloween love from Vermont! And if you see a little gal dressed up as Gronkowski, say hello!
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,764
Morning. It's 6;10am here in Winnipeg-Land. Decorating for Halloween is on the agenda today. Fetched all my stuff out of the attic last night and I now realize I forgot my singing skeleton! (bad to the bone).
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