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Halloween Weekender Thread 26-29 October 2018

Old 10-27-2018, 07:32 AM
  # 61 (permalink)  
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Surfin' USA

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Well, Beach Boppin' Beatniks, we had a bitchen time while Ocean-side around my Youthful Home Turf. Below is a Pic of MesaMate taking it all in. The Weather was most cooperative. Saw a couple of College Mates over Seafood Lunches, and navigated pretty insane Traffic going to/from the local Dog Park daily. No close calls yesterday while Towing, so that's my definition of A Good Day. OK, well, that and no drinking. Which is a big ole non-issue anymore. Re: Sober Time, I've got a Will forged outta Titanium and Kryptonite. So, when I quit - I quit. There's an ancient saying about 'being just a little bit Pregnant': a non-achievable state, right? So, I do better just shutting down all Drinking, and walking away fo evah . 'No' is a complete sentence, eh?

We headed up to Central California here, and got the RV Trailer set up. Now, the fun can begin because there's loads of Historic Railroad/Mining/Hot Springs/Museums about. And, the legendary Alabama Hills where hundreds of Movies were made. Causing a neato Film Museum to be located nearby.

~ Alabama Hills Pix ~

A lil Beach Boys Surf Music, Maestro...

~ 'Surfin' USA' ~ The Beach Boys ~
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Old 10-27-2018, 07:35 AM
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Mesa, this view is to kill for.

It is my life-long dream to live near the ocean.

Thank you for the picture.
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Old 10-27-2018, 07:58 AM
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That is a beautiful picture, MesaMan!
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Old 10-27-2018, 09:00 AM
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Good morning all and welcome to everyone committed to an alcohol free weekend. The best kind.

Wonderful pic MM. California’s central coast is a special place indeed....though I could not afford to live there a visit now and again will do. Today is one of those rare days that our Deep South weather has the feel of it.

Our neighbors got back yesterday from Ireland too and like me are completely enchanted. That’s a place I’d really like to spend about six weeks each summer.....and hope to do so if all goes as planned.

Though I certainly don’t discount the benefits of accumulated sober time, I would have to start at day one again. That’s how it would work for me but I wouldn’t feel the need to debate it with someone if they felt otherwise.

I appreciate everyone here and wish the best weekend all around.
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Old 10-27-2018, 09:49 AM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
I don't give an inch when it comes to my sober time.

The reason I don't is that I was sober for 18 years and started drinking again. I used all those little ploys, "It was just for one day, I've been sober for two weeks," etc.

I don't want to drink again ever.

Your mileage may vary. If you aren't 100% behind staying completely sober, that's certainly your choice. But for me, I want to be sober. I don't ever want to let it slip back into those, "It's okay," thoughts.

When I started up again, I was able to moderate for a very long time. Years, actually. I would have drinks on "special" occasions.

Guess where I ended up in time?

My continuous sober time is precious to me. I don't ever want to make excuses or give myself permission.
this is what scares me to death. I’m 33 and worried about going for years and failing. 18 years in forever and you were able to bounce back. Inspiring. But that’s my exact fear, however crazy that may seem.

Feeling ok today. Girlfriend left on business until
wednesday. Used to be a huge trigger as I’m alone now. Spending time with my puppy and reading. Lots of seltzer. Ride a few waves out already. This is day 21.
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Old 10-27-2018, 10:03 AM
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Welcome to Weekenders Ijcmart!

That's not a bad idea LHW if you are someone who is looking to moderate their drinking. Keeping accurate records is a good idea across many walks of life. Unfortunately for me, as a hardcore alcoholic I would not have had enough non drinking days to give me any real encouragement so it's purely day one onwards for me. I was at the stage where I could not count on actually having too many more Day 1's.

Sumptuous photo Mesaman, what a fantastic place to live

I have just seen some kids dressed in sheets with eyeholes at a stall in the Flower Market in nearby Columbia Road. One point of realism is that they looked genuinely cold.

https://youtu.be/ug_NpT5Io8g

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Old 10-27-2018, 10:48 AM
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HAPPY HALLOWEEN 🎃 WEEKEND
I got all my errands done yesterday so today napping and healing
For me moderation was too back and forth, struggle and it always ended up horrible

Just decided I’m not drinking alcohol and it makes my life so much easier
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Old 10-27-2018, 02:59 PM
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Zoeydog 3 dogs sounds so awesome ❤️ I love dogs ❤️ I’ve always had dogs in my home ever since I was a baby and I was just saying to my partner this morning that I want to get another dog one day. Currently we just have 1 cat. My partner wont allow dogs inside the house which is why I don’t currently have a dog. My last one passed away years ago and I won’t have a dog that I can’t have inside as part of the family. Hmmmm. I’m going to have to think more about this situation...

MB I had kinda figured you may not be a cat person

Bim I admire your steadfast approach to not drinking. I am trying so hard to get rid of the AV from my thoughts but man it’s a slippery piece of work. I don’t want to drink at all ever, but lately those “maybe for a special occasion” thoughts have been trying to sneak back in. I need to be more determined somehow.

LHW I’ve had soooo many day 1s. This is my longest stint alcohol free since I was 15. That’s 35 years. I’m on day 168 today. If I drank I’d have to go back to day 1. Because I know how hard it is for me to make day 2, then day 3, then day 4. And days 5 & 6 & 7 are even harder, because they’re generally Friday, Saturday & Sunday. And I’ve managed to get to Friday a number of times without drinking (less often leading up to my epiphany about my drinking when I joined SR and actually really stopped drinking). But getting through that first Friday, Saturday and Sunday derailed me soooo many times. And it was getting harder and harder to even get to Friday. For months on end I wouldn’t get through Monday without caving in, sometimes at lunchtime (to just tide me over). I don’t want to have to do that again. Reading my withdrawal diary (which included numerous day 1s) reminds me of the hellish nightmare it was. No more day 1s for me.

A beautiful Sunday morning here
Have a great day everyone
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Old 10-27-2018, 03:31 PM
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For me- sobriety means total, complete and uncompromising honesty- in everything. If I study for 1 and 3/4 hours, pre-sobriety, I would have 'rounded it up' and tell people it was 2 hours. Kind of true, only 15mins right? And of course 2 hours sounds more impressive. Except I am deluding myself- and little white lies then become believe by me, then the lies get bigger- as it was with drinking. I only had 6, not 10 glasses, etc.

If I tell others I have been sober for 3y but had a slip for 2m, then it is crap.

It depends on the mindset. If someone truly believes the info they are sharing is sincere about sobriety time is working for them, in truth- good for them. For me the danger would be two fold- believing such rationalized sobriety time is true and perhaps more dangerously, knowing it is not true to me and my morals, thus causing psychological pain....which can lead to relapse, and for me - death.
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Old 10-27-2018, 04:02 PM
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I'm not familiar with that aspect of SMART but I understand the positive idea behind counting like 99 days with 2 slips or whatever

It may help someone feel better about them selves and it may help them beat themselves up less and focus back on the task of staying sober.

but...I know my brain.

I was a creative accountant with my sober days.

99 days and 13 slips would not have bothered me very much. 100 days and 14 slips either.

If the figures started looking too bad I'd just change the way I calculated - ie only 4 binges this month!

I've come to see that, for me, and I think many others here, slips are bad things.

They're to be avoided.

They're the manifestation of a condition I'm trying to leave behind, for good.

'Good' slips, where nothing too bad happens, might just be the worst slips of all?

D
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Old 10-27-2018, 04:40 PM
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happy halloween
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Old 10-27-2018, 05:01 PM
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Welcome, WolfsChild!

Happy Halloween weekend to you, too!
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Old 10-27-2018, 05:26 PM
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do they have Trick or Treating in Scotland WolfsChild?
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Old 10-27-2018, 06:26 PM
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oh joy- infomercial - 2 beautiful young career looking gals, discussing in a forthright manner, poo-herbs.
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Old 10-27-2018, 07:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I'm not familiar with that aspect of SMART but I understand the positive idea behind counting like 99 days with 2 slips or whatever

It may help someone feel better about them selves and it may help them beat themselves up less and focus back on the task of staying sober.

but...I know my brain.

I was a creative accountant with my sober days.

99 days and 13 slips would not have bothered me very much. 100 days and 14 slips either.

If the figures started looking too bad I'd just change the way I calculated - ie only 4 binges this month!

I've come to see that, for me, and I think many others here, slips are bad things.

They're to be avoided.

They're the manifestation of a condition I'm trying to leave behind, for good.

'Good' slips, where nothing too bad happens, might just be the worst slips of all?

D
couldnt agree more
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Old 10-27-2018, 08:05 PM
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Thanks for all the comments on my Saturday morning poll. I agree with everything being said and sounds like the majority of us would prefer the Day 1 again approach. I can see both sides of the coin on this topic, but I do need to go back to the Day 1. But as Phoenix said, if that method works for someone, then that's a good method for them.

I had a really pleasant evening out for dinner with a gal that I recently met on a bus trip. We randomly sat next to each other and chatted during the trip and have gotten together one or two other times since then. She recently relocated back to this area. Tonight we were talking about how we dealt with the grief of suddenly losing our husbands and I decided to go somewhere I have never gone before. I said "I started drinking excessively and have been trying to stop for good for a long time." That is the first time I have EVER disclosed this to someone that I barely know. In fact, many of my friends don't know that I have a problem. Well, wouldn't ya know, she said "me, too, I was up to almost 2 bottles of wine a night and it affected my job and my whole life and then I finally went to AA and go to meetings. I never drink now."

Things really do happen for a reason. I have been leading a fairly lonely life for quite some time, not for lack of trying to make friends, but it just never seemed to gel with anyone, or I would invite people to do something and it was never reciprocated. So to randomly meet her like we did and hit it off enough to get together a few more times was nice, and then to realize we have more in common than being widowed and lonely and that something more is about getting and trying to stay sober is really remarkable. Anyway, she and I made plans to meet again in another week or so.

I think this new friendship will be very, very good for me and to have a friend who doesn't drink is even better. I certainly don't have to worry about being invited to wine dinners and things like that, nor feeling like I need to make excuses as to why I am NOT drinking.

Well, it's late and I am heading to bed. For the first time in a really long time, I feel like I have some hope and some light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank you all for being here this weekend.
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Old 10-27-2018, 10:31 PM
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Welcome WolfsChild.

That's really good news about your friend LoveHateWine, there are more of "us" about than we realise. I'm glad your outlook is looking up.

The clocks have gone back here so it's 5.30am here. I missed out on the extra hour. Worst day of the year. I wish we stayed on BST all year round.
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Old 10-27-2018, 11:02 PM
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good for youLHW
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Old 10-27-2018, 11:46 PM
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Morning, weekenders.

We had our first snow and the breath of winter feels very close.

I am out of fruit and now negotiating with myself should I go get some or avoid temptation (I've been overdoing massively on fruit recently).

Maybe, just for the sake of Halloween weekend)

Sao, we don't play this clock game any more. And I am fine with it, but the other day I heard a lady in the gym complaining that she would prefer an extra hour of light time. Go figure.

Have a great day, everyone.
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Old 10-28-2018, 12:13 AM
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Morning weekenders...

Have to say even if a bit late, day 1 is where you decided to pursue something you desire more than anything. You are "ready" to quit. The psychological forces in your mind telling you want that drink are beaten by the same psychological forces that are telling you that you don't want it.
You are ready for recovery.

Ideas taken from here: https://www.soberrecovery.com/addict...licked-for-me/

When we use our minds to make the conscious choice to be in alignment with our authentic self, we can do anything—including beating our addiction.

I joined SR at 39 because for years I was trying to quit. I was getting good sober time but always slipping and sometimes serious relapsing.
Be ready.....


Snow MB...?
What country or continent are you on...?
I always assumed you were in the US.

Later friends.
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