He said He moves in with me or he’s moving on
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,342
Thanks purple and fire. I called Home Depot and I’m going to purchase and program new remotes when I get home.
If they have three locks/deadbolts of same key will buy those as well .
He has my car keyless FOB tho
Researching if I can change that too
If they have three locks/deadbolts of same key will buy those as well .
He has my car keyless FOB tho
Researching if I can change that too
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I was talking earlier in the thread (or your other thread, maybe) about my last guy I broke up with.
He had "borrowed" my car one night while I was at work. I got off work at 2AM and he wasn't there to get me. So now I had no car, no way to get home and no keys to get in my own place if/when I got there.
I spent the night with a coworker and in the morning she took me to my condo where I met a locksmith to let me in my place. $200. I couldn't find BF or my car for two days. I called the police to report it stolen but since I had at one point allowed him to drive it they wouldn't do anything. While the police were on the phone they told me he didn't have a driver's license, and that if he got in an accident my insurance wouldn't cover it.
He called two days later like nothing had ever happened and said he fell asleep. Apparently for two days? And he said he forgot he had my car. Say what now?
Moral of the story: no one drives my car. No one is allowed to have my house key or to have possession of my keys other than the car repair shop, ever; and I remove my house keys then. The police asked me if he lived with me. I said no. They asked if there were house keys on the car keys and they said that if he fought me, he could say he lived in my house since he had possession of the keys. I would have had to evict him - even though he didn't live with me. Plus for all I knew, he had copies made of all of them - kind of like what you're thinking.
So many nightmares from one bad decision.
He had "borrowed" my car one night while I was at work. I got off work at 2AM and he wasn't there to get me. So now I had no car, no way to get home and no keys to get in my own place if/when I got there.
I spent the night with a coworker and in the morning she took me to my condo where I met a locksmith to let me in my place. $200. I couldn't find BF or my car for two days. I called the police to report it stolen but since I had at one point allowed him to drive it they wouldn't do anything. While the police were on the phone they told me he didn't have a driver's license, and that if he got in an accident my insurance wouldn't cover it.
He called two days later like nothing had ever happened and said he fell asleep. Apparently for two days? And he said he forgot he had my car. Say what now?
Moral of the story: no one drives my car. No one is allowed to have my house key or to have possession of my keys other than the car repair shop, ever; and I remove my house keys then. The police asked me if he lived with me. I said no. They asked if there were house keys on the car keys and they said that if he fought me, he could say he lived in my house since he had possession of the keys. I would have had to evict him - even though he didn't live with me. Plus for all I knew, he had copies made of all of them - kind of like what you're thinking.
So many nightmares from one bad decision.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,342
Wow. So good to be aware of
I wouldn’t put it past him to say he lived with me. On fb he said ‘so lucky to have a partner like you’. “Partner?” Even tho we’ve been dating 3.5 years, that doesn’t mean we are “partners”
I wouldn’t put it past him to say he lived with me. On fb he said ‘so lucky to have a partner like you’. “Partner?” Even tho we’ve been dating 3.5 years, that doesn’t mean we are “partners”
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 524
Originally Posted by Free2bme888 
Wow. So good to be aware of
I wouldn’t put it past him to say he lived with me. On fb he said ‘so lucky to have a partner like you’. “Partner?” Even tho we’ve been dating 3.5 years, that doesn’t mean we are “partners”
I wouldn’t put it past him to say he lived with me. On fb he said ‘so lucky to have a partner like you’. “Partner?” Even tho we’ve been dating 3.5 years, that doesn’t mean we are “partners”
It just depends on the particular relationship.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 9
Take alcohol out of the issue and it is still an issue.
You have agency. You cannot allow that you be forced to take a step that you are unwilling or unready to take. Stay strong.
As someone has pointed out, if he makes a scene on the street let him. It's far better to have such behaviour witnessed as well as being on a police record.
You have agency. You cannot allow that you be forced to take a step that you are unwilling or unready to take. Stay strong.
As someone has pointed out, if he makes a scene on the street let him. It's far better to have such behaviour witnessed as well as being on a police record.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,342
Thanks Eddie.
Today was tough. Went through computer and saw lots of good pictures ( we both live good food and took pics a lot of it), and of laughter, and places we have traveled.
But so as not to be masked and weakened by just fond memories, I found screenshots of old texts where I was verbally abused by him and I called him out on them.
One of the worst times was in October of 2015.
He said real loud in a restaurant “ ur problem isn’t not have a drink tonight ( I didn’t want s drink with dinner and he was mad), it’s that you ate nonstop for 30 minutes, that’s why you weigh so much”. Others in the restaurant turned to stare.
I weigh 135lb and I’m 5’6”.
In the text he turned it all around and never apologized.
Sick man
Right. Glad I came across that memory. Helps keep me in right direction.
Today was tough. Went through computer and saw lots of good pictures ( we both live good food and took pics a lot of it), and of laughter, and places we have traveled.
But so as not to be masked and weakened by just fond memories, I found screenshots of old texts where I was verbally abused by him and I called him out on them.
One of the worst times was in October of 2015.
He said real loud in a restaurant “ ur problem isn’t not have a drink tonight ( I didn’t want s drink with dinner and he was mad), it’s that you ate nonstop for 30 minutes, that’s why you weigh so much”. Others in the restaurant turned to stare.
I weigh 135lb and I’m 5’6”.
In the text he turned it all around and never apologized.
Sick man
Right. Glad I came across that memory. Helps keep me in right direction.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 2,279
What a gaslighting psychologically verbally abusive jerk he sounds like.
What a relief you are out of that relationship and that you came across a bad memory as well, it's easy to get caught up in the good times and forget how badly you were treated..
What a relief you are out of that relationship and that you came across a bad memory as well, it's easy to get caught up in the good times and forget how badly you were treated..
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: North East, USA
Posts: 704
Wow, this is awful, but you are doing so well!!
You can get new fobs programmed to your veh. Will be pricey. If push start only that's only cost. If your vehicle requires a key the ignition cylinder will need to be changed as well. Contact the maker of your vehicle and explain the situation as they can provide cost assistance. Even the dealership might feel for you in this instance. You might even look into your auto insurance. Who knows? They might help.
You are doing the right thing. Stay safe and smart. Sober you can get through this. He is a pig; I concur. Leave that beast be.
Jules
You can get new fobs programmed to your veh. Will be pricey. If push start only that's only cost. If your vehicle requires a key the ignition cylinder will need to be changed as well. Contact the maker of your vehicle and explain the situation as they can provide cost assistance. Even the dealership might feel for you in this instance. You might even look into your auto insurance. Who knows? They might help.
You are doing the right thing. Stay safe and smart. Sober you can get through this. He is a pig; I concur. Leave that beast be.
Jules
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,342
Thanks for letting me vent/ journal.
Perhaps getting this out in open will help others like me who found themselves in the grasps of a controlling abuser. His many great attributes are clouded by his unpredictable words and actions.
Perhaps getting this out in open will help others like me who found themselves in the grasps of a controlling abuser. His many great attributes are clouded by his unpredictable words and actions.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,342
Ok. As an alcohol abuser I was used to numbing my feelings
So weird I’m sad about this relationship ending.
Almost like alcohol, right?
Just because it’s a loss as perceived by my subconscious , it doesn’t mean it was good for me.
Feel like crying.
So weird I’m sad about this relationship ending.
Almost like alcohol, right?
Just because it’s a loss as perceived by my subconscious , it doesn’t mean it was good for me.
Feel like crying.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Where I’ve longed to be all my life…..here, now.
Posts: 7,342
Thank you atomic for the reminder and kind words.
Not that I want to avoid my emotions but I did get some things done today as I need to get ready for winter before my neck surgery in 2 1/2 weeks .
I put my patio furniture away underneath a tarp, I emptied all of my summer planters, I swept out my garage, and I took some pictures of things I need to sell on craigslist or eBay.
I hope your weekend is good so far too.
Not that I want to avoid my emotions but I did get some things done today as I need to get ready for winter before my neck surgery in 2 1/2 weeks .
I put my patio furniture away underneath a tarp, I emptied all of my summer planters, I swept out my garage, and I took some pictures of things I need to sell on craigslist or eBay.
I hope your weekend is good so far too.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
