I came close, but lost the battle. The worst has happened.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nevada
Posts: 523
I just read everything. Amazing story Rich. Just to touch on this subject for those of you that know my story I should probably just be getting out of jail now for all of my DUIs. Rich, I had 3 DUIs in about a 1 year span. I get what you're going through with the overall stress, and trying to keep everything together. Having a good lawyer in these situations is your best bet. Luckily I did, or as the judge told me in my last hearing "your lawyer saved your bacon today". Its not easy, but you have to try and relax.
Keep your head up!
Keep your head up!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Lancs, UK
Posts: 13
Hi, I am new here and from the UK but felt the need to respond to this. I too have been in this situation, admittedly not as bad as all I hit was a lamp post, no other driver involved but I lost my licence for two years and have been paying the price ever since.
I haven't told anyone that didn't absolutely have to know as I was so ashamed of it and also so astonished that I had done it, but what I do know is that doing something bad does not make you a bad person. It makes you a human being who is fallible and that makes mistakes. Those mistakes are of course all the easier to make when you have an addition as we do.
Obviously when others get hurt in the course of our mistakes then we must take responsibility for our actions and face the consequences. I am not trying to excuse either you or I Rich, as it is merely good fortune that stopped me from killing someone that night, but what I am trying to say it that Rich the alcoholic and the real Rich are quite likely to be two quite different people and I think you shouldn't underestimate the power of the addiction.
I think this is a very brave and powerful post and I do hope it turns out as well for you as it can and of course the others involved. All you can do now is show your genuine remorse and hope that they go easy on you. Genuine remorse will go along way.
Do keep us posted. All the best.
EM xx
I haven't told anyone that didn't absolutely have to know as I was so ashamed of it and also so astonished that I had done it, but what I do know is that doing something bad does not make you a bad person. It makes you a human being who is fallible and that makes mistakes. Those mistakes are of course all the easier to make when you have an addition as we do.
Obviously when others get hurt in the course of our mistakes then we must take responsibility for our actions and face the consequences. I am not trying to excuse either you or I Rich, as it is merely good fortune that stopped me from killing someone that night, but what I am trying to say it that Rich the alcoholic and the real Rich are quite likely to be two quite different people and I think you shouldn't underestimate the power of the addiction.
I think this is a very brave and powerful post and I do hope it turns out as well for you as it can and of course the others involved. All you can do now is show your genuine remorse and hope that they go easy on you. Genuine remorse will go along way.
Do keep us posted. All the best.
EM xx
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,047
^^Thanks for bumping this. To read Rich's letter, go here: https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post7033660 (I came close, but lost the battle. The worst has happened.)
Rich, I hope you're staying the course.
Rich, I hope you're staying the course.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 70
Gosh, can't believe all of the support I have received from your comments.
What has a nothing guy like me done to deserve all of the great comments?
To be honest, I have been struggling quite a bit.
I am supposed to be getting a letter from the State Attorney's office indicating they are going to subpoena my medical records and four and a half months later, I have not received that letter.
I know it is coming, there is no way around it, but the legal system, seems to want to torture you.
I found out, one of the people had cracked ribs, cuts and bruises and spent two weeks in the hospital.
This constitutes felony DUI with SBI, what I had been expecting all along.
I was wrong and operating off of emotion in my original post, and have NOT been formally charged yet, but it is coming.
I am in deep trouble.
My insurance company is not going to pay out in my hospital bills (six hours at the tune of $45, 500), yes, that is more than 45 thousand dollars for six hours in the hospital.
One of the people in the accident, has not accepted the insurance, so, I am expecting to be sued in civil court.
I am sorry I hurt these people, they didn't ask for this misery to be inflicted on them and if they get anything I have, then they deserve it.
I am struggling and waiting, but I cannot tell you all how much your comments have meant to me.
I look at them, I read them and just want to hug each and every one of you.
The pressure waiting for the hammer to drop has been insurmountable.
I do have a great attorney. She has done much more than had been necessary, much more that was needed to do what I have paid for.
She is outstanding and a welcome soul into my world right now.
When this is all over, and I am able to, I will post her name, I am so lucky to have found her, she cares.
Women, at anything, the best ever.
Richard.
What has a nothing guy like me done to deserve all of the great comments?
To be honest, I have been struggling quite a bit.
I am supposed to be getting a letter from the State Attorney's office indicating they are going to subpoena my medical records and four and a half months later, I have not received that letter.
I know it is coming, there is no way around it, but the legal system, seems to want to torture you.
I found out, one of the people had cracked ribs, cuts and bruises and spent two weeks in the hospital.
This constitutes felony DUI with SBI, what I had been expecting all along.
I was wrong and operating off of emotion in my original post, and have NOT been formally charged yet, but it is coming.
I am in deep trouble.
My insurance company is not going to pay out in my hospital bills (six hours at the tune of $45, 500), yes, that is more than 45 thousand dollars for six hours in the hospital.
One of the people in the accident, has not accepted the insurance, so, I am expecting to be sued in civil court.
I am sorry I hurt these people, they didn't ask for this misery to be inflicted on them and if they get anything I have, then they deserve it.
I am struggling and waiting, but I cannot tell you all how much your comments have meant to me.
I look at them, I read them and just want to hug each and every one of you.
The pressure waiting for the hammer to drop has been insurmountable.
I do have a great attorney. She has done much more than had been necessary, much more that was needed to do what I have paid for.
She is outstanding and a welcome soul into my world right now.
When this is all over, and I am able to, I will post her name, I am so lucky to have found her, she cares.
Women, at anything, the best ever.
Richard.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 591
So sorry to hear, first thing stop reliving it. Get some good soup, water and tea. Next enroll in an alcoholic treatment program immediately for yourself and looks good in the courts, job can’t fire you if you are in treatment, plus shows willingness to change. Next find a highly recommended lawyer. Get out of the self blame mode as hard as it is and get into action, you can and WILL bounce back from this. We are here. 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Rich,
It is so great to hear from you! I am glad you were able to find out about the other drivers, and that although they were hurt, they're doing okay. Money is just money (I know easier said then done). You will figure it out, and hopefully come through this with a new look on life.
I'm glad you have a good lawyer that's important. I'm sure the waiting is difficult, that always ups my anxiety. Are you doing anything to help with that? Exercise, yoga, mindfulness, all might be good for you at this time.
I really hope you'll continue to post. You may want to read through some of Buckley's posts, he had some difficulties that he had to overcome, and came out stronger on the other side. Might be helpful to hear.
Glad you're here today.
Sending lots of love and positive thoughts.
❤️Delilah
It is so great to hear from you! I am glad you were able to find out about the other drivers, and that although they were hurt, they're doing okay. Money is just money (I know easier said then done). You will figure it out, and hopefully come through this with a new look on life.
I'm glad you have a good lawyer that's important. I'm sure the waiting is difficult, that always ups my anxiety. Are you doing anything to help with that? Exercise, yoga, mindfulness, all might be good for you at this time.
I really hope you'll continue to post. You may want to read through some of Buckley's posts, he had some difficulties that he had to overcome, and came out stronger on the other side. Might be helpful to hear.
Glad you're here today.
Sending lots of love and positive thoughts.
❤️Delilah
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Rich, so good to hear from you, so many of us have been thinking of you.
I know what the waiting feels like, I too had to wait for my formal charges to arrive and although they said two weeks it was over two months before the letter came. I am now waiting for a court date which could be well over a year.
I am glad to hear you have a good lawyer, that is so important.
Are you still doing the outpatient rehab thing? How is that going?
I know when I begin to feel completely overwhelmed by everything (I also now have custody issues in the mix and am out of work) I really just take it minute by minute. What can I do right now? Maybe something productive for my situation like get to an appointment, or maybe just sit down and cry, maybe go exercise, have something to eat. I try not to concentrate too far ahead in those moments.
We're here for you.
I know what the waiting feels like, I too had to wait for my formal charges to arrive and although they said two weeks it was over two months before the letter came. I am now waiting for a court date which could be well over a year.
I am glad to hear you have a good lawyer, that is so important.
Are you still doing the outpatient rehab thing? How is that going?
I know when I begin to feel completely overwhelmed by everything (I also now have custody issues in the mix and am out of work) I really just take it minute by minute. What can I do right now? Maybe something productive for my situation like get to an appointment, or maybe just sit down and cry, maybe go exercise, have something to eat. I try not to concentrate too far ahead in those moments.
We're here for you.
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